I've *never* been accused of sanity before...

HAVE Y'ALL WATCHED THIS?

THE DUALITY. THE OUTFITS. THE AESTHETIC.

After my last post about how jotun men from Norse mythology can give birth I wondered what that would be like in a more fantasy-like setting.

I didn't make it clear in the last post, but jotun men can also get spontaneously pregnant. They usually have to do something for it to happen, but they don’t always know what they did. Jotun women also seem to be able to get others pregnant, men and women, if you cross some stories. It’s all an expression of jotuns as creatures of chaos. For them there are no rules.

The inspiration for the elf is a mix of Viking beliefs about them and Golden Age/Victorian beliefs. The Vikings believed them to be dark in appearance and they were often associated with gold and silver from graves. It was believed that they stole it from the dead. Only later did people start to think of them as beautiful, misty creatures.

After, i shit you not, OVER THIRTEEN HOURS of sleep, the tamagotchi finally woke up at 9:18pm, which I was made aware of because it beeped loudly at me. For context, I am at my SECOND job (not the elementary school, the candy shop where I am currently alone working the closing shift on a Saturday night, which is already not fun.) I investigate and finally clean up the two giant shits that have been sitting on screen for the entire thirteen hour nap. However, the poops are quickly replaced by…. A ghost????

You can’t rly see but it was like. The black blob to the side. Clearly a ghost or possibly skull or black jellyfish. When I try to hit any buttons, the tamagotchi shakes its head violently at me, refusing to eat or play. I can’t get the ghost to leave. A customer walks in and I have to hastily stuff the tamagotchi into my pocket. When I take it out of my pocket, the ghost has gone. I press a bunch of buttons at random until I am able to ascertain that this little fuck is 1. STARVING 2. MISERABLE. Which is NOT MY FAULT, seeing as it was asleep for THE ENTIRE WAKING FUCKING DAY and resisted all attempts to engage with it. I press more buttons, and am able to feed it 5 hamburgers and 2 pieces of cake, which fills it up. It is still deeply unhappy. I am currently standing behind the counter of this stupid candy store on the clock jamming buttons in order to entertain this stupid pixelated asshole enough that it becomes sufficiently happy. So that it doesn’t fucking die of boredom or depression or whatever. The game we play is confusing and involves numbers and pressing buttons at random times. The tamagotchi is very explicit with its attempts to show its frustration at me, but right now it’s 9:32pm and I think it’s satisfied. I’ve been walked in on three times. It keeps beeping at me from my pocket. Long story short:

11:30pm Saturday night. I’m finally almost done closing the candy store and ready to go home. Since waking up, the tamagotchi has been periodically beeping with an obscene sense of urgency and entitlement, but nothing out of the ordinary. I take a fun mirror selfie (for a later update) with the tamagotchi in the mirror by the front door right before I’m about to leave. I walk away from the mirror.

It fucking shatters.

God fucking help me I am about to lose my shit.

It was honestly worth it, she was so so surprised and happy and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters to me. I would do anything for these kids for real. But I am also beyond thrilled that that hellspawn is out of my hands. What a harrowing year this past weekend has been. This is my final update—I know a lot of people have become invested, and to those people I say thank you for joining me on this journey. I leave you with this.

In the early layering stages I was - because my mind works in weird ways - also getting strong echoes of this old ad for the Skoda Fabia hatchback where they made a life-size car out of cake...

They also did an ad for the hot hatch version which was...

Different.

I tried some different lyrics, too...

In my AP Art class, there was a girl who was just starting to experiment with mixed media. At this point she was still playing around, trying to decide what direction she wanted to go with her portfolio. So one critique day, she brought in an abstract canvas with some rhinestone highlights and painted and real peacock feathers. She loved sparkles and peacock feathers so she thought she’d try introducing them a *little*. And after everyone had given some input, the teacher gave her his advice, VERY roughly paraphrased here:

“So here’s the thing… I do not like this style. These are just elements that do not speak to me personally, but I see that you like them, and you’re doing interesting things with them.

“My biggest critique is, I only merely *dislike* this piece. I want you to make me HATE it. Go crazy with the things that you like. Don’t hold back trying to make it palatable to people like me. Because I am NEVER going to like it. And if the audience does not like it, it should drive them crazy seeing how much YOU love it.”

Her portfolio was chock full of neon colors and glitter and rhinestones and splashes of peacock feathers and it was a delight. Our teacher despised every piece lol, but she got great marks and I think even won some awards. And more importantly, she was happy and proud of the results. Because she didn’t limit herself by trying to appeal to people who were never going to enjoy what she enjoyed.

1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:

- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)

- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.

- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?

2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 

3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?

- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?

- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?

- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally….it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)

- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?

- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?