"Be any kind of artist."

Finally, an adolescent that looks like how adolescence feels.

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

actually hate that the bodys response to anything is nausea. ate too much? nauseous. ate too little? nauseous. an imaginary threat got you scared? be nauseous. on your period? you guessed it. sawed into your hand and need to go to the emergency room? perhaps throwing up into your open wound will be of help

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

I didn't realize that this was about Project Hail Mary at first I just accepted that this was Ryan Gosling's fault and we have to kill him

I took a bus to a conference today and the bus driver fully stopped the bus to identify and chastise a person who was playing music out loud on their phone. That is how you get me to actually complete the customer service survey specifically so I can give you top ratings

It's days later and I'm still thinking about this man. Full ass bus pulled over to the side of a state highway with the hazards on, stalking down the center aisle intoning "ALL RIGHT. WHO'S GOT IT. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ON SPEAKER." I want to commission a statue of him. a hero. a king.

if you think of yourself as someone with average willpower and impulse control then you may look at someone you think is in possession of a more iron will and think "wow they must make such better decisions all the time and thus be in a significantly better place in life." broadly, I believe this is not the case. in my experience, instead of making frequent small impulsive choices with minimal knock-on effects, people who appear to have strong willpower hold back all their slowly-accruing bad decision energy behind a big dam until a catastrophic epoch defining category five will-fail event explodes the fuck out of the dam and drowns several surrounding towns. which is why if you think you're the willpower georg in this situation then it's important to manually schedule in a medium-tier frivolous folly every so often so you don't just blow up badly at the worst time.

porn is bad because [christian talking point] and [alt-right study] and [misunderstood neurochemistry] and of course [feature of capitalism]

thank you SO MUCH for reminding me about [feature of patriarchy] and [problem caused by lack of kids' sex ed] random tumblr user in the notes! louder for those in the back!

The adult content warning on this post is really just the icing on the cake

god reading old feminist theory is wild because you'll be nodding along and then they break out the old "lesbians doing bdsm is misogyny because that's man stuff" chestnut

ladies is it patriarchy when women fuck each other

idk it's not like I'd ever argue that women can't be misogynists or enforce patriarchy on each other like obviously they can and do. but also it's soooo funny to sincerely try to argue that no woman would ever want to fingerblasted if not for the masculine scourge tainting her mind and tricking her into thinking penetration is good. lady I'm sorry but sometimes it hits.

My Very Punctual Wife Gets My Night Worm can also be used to remember the order of the planets in the solar system!

Mercury Venus Pearth Wars Goopiter Maturn Nuranus Weptune

She maturn on my pearth til I goopiter

i wish cleaning the dishes was more fun. specially the bottles

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

Gosh I’d love to give it a try. It’s just so hard to find the time with all the *describes a daily schedule that is 65% dilly-dallying*