lab rat king

i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

have you guys ever seen a crocodile with its fingies out

actually I think you should be normal about ordinary citizens of authoritarian countries and yes that applies even to that country you're thinking of right now

"but they support [dictator] and [violent action]!" okay is it possible that a combination of propaganda, election rigging, and authoritarian crackdowns on dissent could lead a population to look like it supports something most people would find distasteful under more reasonable circumstances

asked one of my coworkers how she's doing today and she goes "could be better, could be worse," and another coworker nearby who was eavesdropping chimes in with "could be a lil bit o' alligator curse!" i have no idea what he meant by that but i do know that it has been immediately added to the lexicon.

@vocabulary-altering-posts

ads targeted to women: omg you are thirtyyyy. kill yourself

I can’t get over “and comes fucks me”.

This video ruined all those aesthetic photos of fog for me. I can’t see a foggy landscape without this video playing in my head.

It’s Comes Fucks Me Wednesday babes

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it