Dog owner

when will a femme let me sit at her feet like an adoring dog and watch her get ready to go out. I love the intimacy and ritual of it all, let me fetch things for you and compliment your outfit as you piece it together

its not reccomended amd probably not legal but in a pinch a coyote can be your plus one to most events

Kink scene rescheduled because halfway through me explaining the scenario my dom asked a clarifying question that uncovered a howling logical inconsistency and we ended up spending the next three hours workshopping the worldbuilding.

They should invent a being a sadist that isnt embarassing

You're so cute do you want to come back to my place and get kicked in the head

I love you, trans women.

Liking men is one of those kinks thats fine if its rp but really unsafe to attempt irl

born to want to be scary as fuck in bed but temperamentally Nice

girl who is so so scared all the time. girl who once passed as 'smart' but now finds it hard to think. girl who's always half lost because of memory issues and dissociation and trouble with inhabiting a physical space. girl who is a failure in a way that is neither interesting nor endearing.

this is a fun post because people will say how many they have in the tags then you get to figure out which ones.

Another dyke moment I had recently was when I was talking about how I quit dating men because I don't like them & die girlies were all like laughing along with me about it but one of them felt the need to be like "not that there's anything *wrong* with men-" and all I could think was like. Yes there is?

This was in a group of queer women too but they're like pansexual and normal ykwim. I've kind of been adopted by Women like their weird dog (nonbinary butch lesbian) but I keep forgetting they don't think there's anything wrong with men

I know they agree with me they're just afraid to admit it. They agree and then flinch. Come with me. There IS something wrong with men

Women who date men talk about them like they signed an NDA

I really HAVE to remember my audience. My day-to day life people are NOT prepared. I'll say some shit like, "Why should we fear pain? It's just one of the many ways our body speaks to us," and people will be like "you sound like a SERIAL KILLER!!!" Ok yeah but also I'm right???

I'll be sharpening a knife and hold it to the light and sigh with warm, soulful affection in my eyes as if it's a living thing that can enact my love upon a tender substrate for me, extending my will and its edge as one flowing force, always tasting first what I'm about to savor, and people will get uncomfortable?? C'mon.

READER BEWEADER YOU’RE IN FOR A SCEADER

it's not woke to watch Rick & Morty. even after they fired that one guy it's still not woke to watch Rick & Morty. it's cringe. but i thought we were done calling things cringe? no it's like reddit cringe, that's still bad. it's reddit to watch Rick & Morty. 7 years ago i confess to a beautiful woman that i watched some Rick & Morty, multiple seasons in fact, and thought it was kinda funny. she says she knows some folks who work on the show and it seems "well put together". it was so polite that she said that. it was so kind; one last attempt at human consideration. in truth we both know i've become like some kind of a dog in her eyes, one of those ugly dogs that so badly wish they could access some more dignified state of existence, but can't. or perhaps she looks at me like you'd look at the rest of your sandwich after you've taken a bite and found a bug in it. despite this person's best efforts, things will never quite be how they used to be between her and me. i am a different class of citizen now. i am to be reprocessed into something less objectionable now. at some point in my mother's womb i took a wrong turn and chose to be born and grow into the kind of person who watches Rick & Morty and that was my mistake. a lapse in judgment. it's not woke to watch Rick & Morty

a lot of flirting is just dehumanizing the other person in ways that make them feel cute

Shitty things about being isekaied #34; every time I use the restroom I automatically reach for my phone I left in my jacket pocket back on earth, and my hand goes exactly where I keep my knives on my belt, so I always walk out of the john with a fresh hand wound

Shitty things about being isekaied #49: dog came with me but the magic field uplifted her into an anime girl and I'm realizing our personalities just don't click (plus her sitting on my lap is weird now)

Shitty things about being isekaied #64: the town blacksmith is an elf named Gay Simpson and I couldnt explain why that made me laugh and now she won't fix my weapons anymore

Shitty things about being isekaied #75: my degree in russian lit is useless now

Shitty things about being isekaied #83: the four dark lords of this world look almost identical to abba which cant be intentional but when they line up on horseback its so uncanny i cant help but wonder if someones fucking with me

Shitty things about being isekaied #94: they dont make my meds here and health potions dont do shit for bipolar

Shitty things about being isekaied #102: finally met another earthling but hes like half my age so we dont have anything in common. somewhere along the line he got turned into a musclebound wolfman and every time i ask about it he gets super smug and refuses to tell me how it happened

I have bad news about the degree in Russian lit here as well.

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed