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all my haters become cicaders when i enter the summer of success

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

happy peaches day to all that celebrate

When I was a kid I thought Master Chief was gender fluid bc I didn't understand who Cortana was so anytime she talked I just thought it was chief being a girl for that sentence

It probably is kind of fun to be a parent bird and find big fat bugs to put in your child’s goalpost mouth. And the more you do it the larger your baby gets, which shows your progress. Mine is reaally big, think I’m going to get a high score this time. It has a unique skin too, I’ve never even seen this one before. Has anyone gotten that one, dark brown and white belly with stripes? It’s not even in my Wrenpedia, it has to be a really special unlock

I’d appreciate if you didn’t call my child a “parasite”, thank you very much! Typical r/childfree

"like a boss" by lonely island was released ten thousand years ago when mammoths still roamed the big wide world. feel old yet?

Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell

going to the c!rcus and filling the cl0wns' w@ter fl0wers with cum from a penis

feels like im always recovering. when do i get to live

"it's okay to rest for as long as you need from burnout" how long is it actually going to take though. there's stuff i wanna do.