creature of the night

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

you should also be able to do this to job listings

you spill dr pepper on the concrete and a single perfect rose pushes up out of a crack

i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

rolling up to Wendy's to get an erotic chicken sandwich

I love being a loser girl like yesss!!! omg go stay in your bedroom all day and listen to music, watch movies, read fan fiction, ughh this is the life!!

it's so easy to do things! it's so easy to get up and do things and get things done! i am capable and motivated and executive dysfunction can't touch me. *starting to cry a little because my affirmations aren't working* it's so easy to do things, come on get up, it's easy, let's do things *mental image of a cartoon trying to move a heavy lazy animal* come onnnnn

fruitful endeavors…

i'm very happy with cookie clicker's success of course but it's difficult to tell if it was a freak fluke or if there was some sort of unsuspected secret sauce at play. could i do it again. modesty aside somewhere in my hundreds of design docs for other game ideas there could be the game industry equivalent of a nuclear bomb. i must tread lightly

[lazy as shit, doesn't make anything] i.m saving the world

i'm very happy with cookie clicker's success of course but it's difficult to tell if it was a freak fluke or if there was some sort of unsuspected secret sauce at play. could i do it again. modesty aside somewhere in my hundreds of design docs for other game ideas there could be the game industry equivalent of a nuclear bomb. i must tread lightly

[lazy as shit, doesn't make anything] i.m saving the world

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

"i asked chatgpt--" okay well i asked the angel of music and he said i was an insolent boy and a slave of fashion.

Being even mildly politically aware is hell. "Why is gas so high???" Bitch i outta smack you

Idk I have so little patience for willfully ignorant people. You know the entire plot of Fruit Love Island or whatever the fuck but can't take an hour outta your day to look up why everything is falling apart around you? Embarrassing

horror movie showing a child’s drawing of the monster or ghost or whatever but instead of a little kid and crayons they’re like a preteen and it’s manga style