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FAT. DO Y'ALL KNOW I'M FAT!?!

well...

Imagine undergoing the grief of losing an entire life you lived in another world, being forced back into the body of a child and to grow up all over again without the ability to even talk about what happened in the decades you lost. Every person you knew and loved, vanished, leaving no indication they were ever real and no guide for how to move on.

in the silver chair it’s confirmed that deep underneath the earth in narnia there’s a molten, fiery abyss world called Bism that is apparently populated and also apparently gemstones are living creatures that live there, and what we understand as diamonds, emeralds, rubies etc. are just the discarded husks of once living creatures

Jadis is actually not originally from Narnia, but accidentally gets sent there at its creation (making her one of the oldest beings in narnia) and she annihilated all life in her world of origin. she also very much does go to literal actual London and terrorize people. she is like 7 feet tall and can tear iron with her bare hands like it’s taffy.

Jadis makes it “Always winter and never Christmas”...what the FUCK is her beef with Father Christmas. I know it’s supposed to be like a metaphor or some shit but I’m imagining what exactly the fuck must have happened between them for jadis to specifically want to prevent him from coming to narnia to the extent that her powerful seasonal-change-stopping magic also includes a “fuck that guy in particular” clause.

like think about it, Jesus is not a thing in narnia, he’s just aslan. and aslan did not get born. ergo, the origin of such a concept as Christmas is the entity Father Christmas. Christmas is not a religious holiday to Narnians it has no symbolic meaning it is just specifically the time of year when Father Christmas fucks around across the landscape giving children gifts, such as very deadly real weapons. There’s no reason for him to do this. It’s just what he does. And Jadis fucking hates it.

another thing from the magicians nephew that is never brought up again is that Polly and Digory don’t go directly to Narnia, they end up in this intermediate place between the worlds that’s like a forest full of pools leading to other worlds, potentially infinite other worlds, and they end up in Narnia pretty much at random.

I think it’s also confirmed that Archenlanders were originally from Earth, and are the descendants of a small group of people who traveled to Narnia by accident and got stuck. One wonders why Aslan didn’t whisk them back out. Or why being too old wasn’t a problem for them.

I think this is early installment weirdness but there are Roman gods in narnia. ?????

stars are sentient???

villain: I shall now use this machine to pinpoint the location of every person you love so you can WATCH AS I FREEZE THEM WITH MY EVIL MEGA ICE RAY

hero: wait no-

machine: dings immediately, showing the location of the villain

the peter from miles’ dimension was super over the top, kinda larger than life. as pointed out by peter b. several times. however unlike other times they’ve done this it wasn’t just to try and make spider-man look cool, it was all a part of miles’ narrative. miles was given huge shoes to fill and they used this as a tool to portray how small miles felt compared to peter.

but the difference between miles and mcu peter is that miles didn’t need any of that to become the spider-man he is today. one of his main role models in the film is peter b. who’s broke and off his game, but still manages to do amazing things.

HI IT’S ME AGAIN