You are amazing. Remember that!

Hope we can help each other out.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit disoriented and dizzy. Wasnt even able to stand up. But i had work to go to...so i decided to ignore everything and get ready. Slowly the dizziness started increasing but i knew if i didnt get ready and acknowledge that i m going through something, i would have to call up my boss to tell him i cant come in. That thought terrified me for some reason.....so i kept going through my morning routine. The dizziness got so bad that i couldn't hold my head up and i had to lie down with my phone in my hand , my boss's number on the screen and tears in my eyes...waiting for a couple of minutes to gather the courage. By now....my hands had started tingling. Finally, i called up my boss to let him know i cudnt come in today and he responds that there is no one to fill in for me. Now my chest started hurting. I called up a colleague and asked for help and he readily agreed. I informed my boss and he gave me an off easily. By now, my vision was swimming ,my head was hurting , i was extremely dizzy and had chest pains. I had to acknowledge now..that i was having a panic attack. The problem is...every treatment i know about anxiety attcks...revolves around deep breaths and i had no issues in breathing. I had no idea what to do. Despite that I tried deep breathing exercises. It didnt work. I took my medicine. It didnt kick in immediately but it started working after sometime. And right now...i m still dizzy ,still have a head ache, still hav some tingling in my hands. But it is better than before. What i dont understand is why did i wake up in the midst of a panic attack. Was it a dream that triggered it? Was it my subconscious going haywire with negativity? Or was it not a panic attack at the beginning but i triggered one by thinking about calling my boss. Would i have been fine if i just sucked it up and went to work? I dont know...and i dont understand how i can help myself. Coz thats all i have....i m the only one who can help myself coz no one else understands my problems.

RIP Fizzy. ❤️