openhanded-depression

I'm lost...please...leave me be...

My depression is back and it can't keep up and it's dragging me backwards along with it. How do I go forwards when it's holding me backwards?

Somehow I always find my way back here no matter how well life seems to get. This time it's because I doubt my relationship and I doubt my whole life. He actually put his hands on me last night. I keep ignoring the signs but I don't know why. I don't know how much longer I can do this for. Do I still love him?

I've never felt so small. I've opened up my heart to someone new recently; he tore it to shreds. I was silly. I've been alone fore so many years and I guess that I just didn't wanna let him go because of that. I didn't realize that I was that desperate for love. I hues that I didn't realize how alone I was really was until now. U just want someone to hug me, to hold me, and to never let go. I just want to be loved.

I accidentally hit a cat with my car. I brought him him and he died as soon as I made it to the door. I was hoping my mom could help him but she couldn't. I will never forget what happened. He didn't dereference that. Someone out there could be looking for him right now. I screamed as loud as I could and immediately turned around to check on him. I wish we had 24hr veterinarians open around here because that was just awful. He could never of made it and that just breaks my heart. That poor baby didn't deserve this life. This happened only an hour ago and I don't think I could ever forget this moment. Ever