City of Stars, are you shining just for me?

But uncomfortable for who, exactly?

Let’s stop pretending this is about 'safety' or 'boundaries'. It’s about visibility. It’s about control. It’s about the fact that some fans can’t handle not being the one who gets the attention. So they dress it up in concern, as if they’re protecting the community, when in reality what they’re doing is punishing both the artist and the fans who got acknowledged.

And the worst part is... it’s mostly women doing this to other women. Every single time. Policing whose post got liked. Who’s “too close.” Who’s “too much.” Who should be embarrassed for engaging in the space we’re all here to enjoy. And it’s not because we’re naturally competitive or catty or whatever lazy stereotype people love to throw at us. It’s because we’ve been taught, structurally, repeatedly, that there is not enough room for all of us.

Adrienne Rich wrote about this. Women beware women. That’s the system. That’s the mechanism. That’s how patriarchy maintains itself. Not just by suppressing women, but by making sure we do the work of suppressing each other. We turn every space into a silent ranking system. Who’s being noticed. Who’s acceptable. Who’s allowed to be loud. Who should shrink.

We’re doing that here. Right now. In fandom. Over digital scraps of attention from someone who, let’s be clear, owes us nothing.

That’s what people need to sit with. These celebrities do not owe you a response. They don’t owe you interaction. They don’t owe you access, or availability, or emotional labor. And when they do offer any of those things—when they respond with grace, or humor, or kindness—and your reaction is to police it, to shame them, or to shame the fans they interact with?

You are the problem.

The relationship between a fan and a celebrity is not transactional. You’re not owed access, closeness, or attention just because you streamed a show, retweeted a gif, or posted a headcanon. And the mindset of “if I’m not getting noticed, then no one should” isn’t righteous, it’s entitled. And when that entitlement gets turned against other women, it’s not just petty... it’s a repetition of the very hierarchies we claim to be pushing back against.

This is why so many spaces, especially fandoms led by women, become unbearable over time. Not because the content stops mattering, but because the community eats itself alive. The minute joy turns into hierarchy, we’ve already lost.

And I say this with love: fans need to take a step back and ask what they’re doing here. If your instinct is to tear someone down for being noticed, or to analyze every celebrity reply like it’s a breach of contract, you need to stop and ask why that’s your first response.

Because if all this energy, all this surveillance, all this suspicion, all this shaming, went toward interrogating the systems that taught us to hate each other for being visible... instead of weaponizing it against the girl who got a like from the celeb you admire, maybe we’d actually get somewhere.

i’ve seen hardly anybody on tumblr talking about this. say her fucking name. she was 30 years old. she was a nurse and is survived by a 7 year old son.

and yes, of course her family is responsible for the cost of keeping her on life support for three months and counting. her mother set up a g/f/ndme to help with the bills. please consider giving if you’re in a position to, they’ve barely raised $3600 at this point.

i appreciate this writing choice a lot. robby is extremely likable and a compelling center of the story. he makes the right decision for his female patients many times, including giving a teenage girl a chance at reproductive freedom at personal risk. he’s supportive of the women in his department and wants them to do well.

a collection of my playlists highlighting black artists in multiple genres of music. a little late for BHM but better late than never <3 enjoy! suggestions and additions are always welcome.

black people created rock: a forever growing playlist of various sub - genres of rock made by black artists and musicians; from classic rock, pop punk, rock rap, metal, post hardcore, etc. from underground bands, popular artists experimenting with their sound, artists from other genres collaborating with rock stars, and more!

a southern gothic tale: country / folk / blues / bluegrass; there are some rap / pop songs that include country elements in them but for the most part it's what you think.

black alternative: black artists that make music outside of the expectation. alt [rnb/pop], hyperpop, indie [pop/rock], dream - pop, bedroom pop; you name it, it's probably in here.

black g!rl pvnk !: similar to my black people created rock playlist, except it's just black women. this playlist also includes rap that takes heavy inspiration from alternative subculture.