Because hey, why not?

sorry i failed facial recognition in the mirror 3 times and got locked out of my brain for 24 hrs

Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

brooding men who cannot communicate their feelings if their life depended on it are only hot when they're fictional. if i have to deal with one in real life i will curse him and pray for his downfall every night before i go to bed

It's because the writer communicates their feelings for them. If people wanna pull that off in real life they need to hire a guy to walk around behind them narrating.

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

All gays will go to hellsite

What if in hellsite but not gay

NO!

every day i am thankful to ancient humans for the domestication of the cat. fucking genius idea. agriculture was a good one too btw but you really outdid yourselves with the cat thing