Oni 👹Chan

I think I can confidently speak for all of us when I say we were all expecting a cat.

it’s not a dog either

today at work a patient told me to go away bc she didn't want a man helping her wipe her butt and then immediately after that my next patient looked me dead in the eye while telling me i would be a good wife and that i should become pregnant soon. fascinating gender experience i have going on rn

#I call for an audience with the king. After waiting in line I stand in front of his throne #(dressed in a huge white bedsheet like a cartoon ghost so as to hide my identity) #I call the king a bitch. I insult his policies all of which were made with the guidance of his court who r also all here #the king ignores me. I say it again in case he didn't hear. The king ignores me #I leave in shame (via @septimus-heap)

FUCK YEAH.

they should invent a cigarette that gives you vitamins and hrt and shit

TESTOSTEROEN CIGARETTE BEING SMOKED BY A BUTCH DYKE OUTSIDE THE BAR SHE SHOTGUN THR SMOKE INTO MYMOUTH I GET SO HARD I PASS OUT SMASH MY HEAD AND DIE

sorry that was meant for the tags

it’s okay. You’ve painted a beautiful and true picture

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary

I don't have time for tumblr discourse they're calling the very hungry caterpillar degenerate art over on twitter