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@only2braincellsavailable
dick: Hey, can we stay in your apartment tonight?
jason: Why?
damian: Tim fiddled with an ouija board and cursed the manor.
steph: He doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yells "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"
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“When was the last time you held your baby?”
-
The jungle gym grows… part 2, part 3
Stuff I did for a physical project I ended up hating
😭
- DC's Hawk-Girl Summer
I see enough posts of Jason going to college and missing his family, but here I am thinking about Bruce missing his baby (who is 6"5 250 pound heavy brick oven)
I'm imagining Bruce is going Through It™
Like he's trying. He's doing great. Bruce manages to keep a good normal composure when Jason is around, switching between college brochures and ranting about department programs.
Except when Jason is finally out of sight, Bruce is curling up on the floor in tears, ugly sobbing.
"ALFRED MY BABY IS GROWING UP"
"Your 'baby', sir, is a 23 year old with a criminal record"
"HE'S LITERALLY A BABY. HE CAN'T BE GOING OFF TO COLLEGE"
"You have said good bye to Master Damian already—"
"........I ALREADY SAID GOODBYE TO ONE BABY NOW IM SAYING GOODBYE TO ANOTHER!"
"They're in college, sir, not dead— Actually, no, that isn't a battle I'm fighting with you today."
Meanwhile Jason is a little miffed.
Something coiled around him whenever he watches Bruce act very detached and firm when Jason is around talking about how he'll be away from home more often and how he'll rarely have time for patrol or family anymore.
Jason made the mistake of wondering out loud "Maybe Bruce was playing the long game of getting rid of me..."
And Tim just... sends a 20 minute video of Bruce crying while hugging Tim because he's the closest of his children to him at the time
"TIM I MISS JASON"
"Dad, you have his phone number"
"BUT HE'S IN CAMPUS RIGHT NOW WHAT IF HE'LL THINK I'M OVERBEARING AND STOP CHASING HIS DREAMS"
"I promise you, Dad, Jason won't think that"
"🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺"
"H-How did you say that out loud..."
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HC that Jason tends to stress bake. This started when Jason first began therapy, and his counsellor basically had him try old hobbies as saner, constructive coping mechanisms.
So Jason just makes like 60 cookies every other day, and maybe a whole ass marble cake, sometimes it's as simple as a few tarts.
The family starts understanding it as code overtime, of Jason offering his stress food and with it, a hand reaching out for help.
It's silly progress.
But also progress.
.
.
Steph, answering the phone: Yewwol?
Jason, actually shaking on the other line: I made 20 pans of brownies and I don't even remember buying 20 pans to make brownies in and I feel so stupid and- WHY WON'T THIS PIPPING BAG CLOSE
Steph: ...So it's a Brownie day?
Jason: ...yeah ☹️
Steph: Right. Give me a few minutes. Damian's coming to help pass the brownies around to your neighbors, then we're eating one for ourselves.
.
.
Alfred: Why is Master Jason in our kitchen on an undetermined family day... making macaroons?
Tim, not looking up from his phone: JK R*wling was on his fyp today
Alfred: Ah, I see.... Well, at least Master Jason has not—
[from afar] Jason: WHERE'S THE FUCKING RED 40.
Alfred:
Alfred: Well, at least he didn't ask for Blueberries.
.
.
Jason: I made 100 cookies 😠 because you shouted at me 😠😠 for finishing the job during patrol last night 😠😠😠
Bruce: Mm.
Jason: This is all YOUR FAULT. I expect to be renumerated for EVERYTHING — the ingredients, the electric bill, the time.
Bruce: Mm.
Jason: And you're NOT getting any this time! 😠 I gave it away to the orphanage two blocks from my apartment 😠 because only those orphans deserve my treats 😠😠😠
Bruce: Okay.
Jason:
Bruce:
Bruce, also emotionally constipated and trying hard in therapy: Do you want a hug?
Jason: ...fuck you.
[they do hug]
-Bruce to Jason (Detective Comics #557)
*pauses the reading* He brought out... a Batman cape.... out of nowhere? Does he just.... carry it with him everywhere...? Wrap it around himself like a blanket... does he wrap it around him like a blanket at night... or sit on his couch in it with a book and the fire in the fireplace...
*pauses and reflects deeply* Does he just... steal everyone's clothes...? I think he stole the spare Nightwing suit in BiB...(?) what's he going to do, make a Omega nest...? *babbling in delirium*
Wearing papa's clothe.
the fact that this is the opening quote of jason’s dc fandom page is Wild. they really said “hey everyone! welcome to jason todd 101. this is everything you need to know about jason todd! lesson number 1. he is roy harper’s kind of crazy”
Dick Grayson: You know, most people can't tell when I'm lying.
Jason Todd: You blink twice as much.
Dick Grayson: ...
Jason Todd: Your left eyebrow goes up.
Dick Grayson: ...
Jason Todd: You also scratch your wrist.
Dick Grayson: ...
Jason Todd: You've done it three times since this conversation started.
Dick Grayson: Sometimes I forget you've been studying me for years.
Jason Todd: That's because you're usually looking at our other siblings instead of me.
Dick Grayson: Ouch.
Jason Todd: Good. Now answer honestly. Did you skip lunch again?
Dick Grayson: ...
Dick Grayson: Maybe.
Jason Todd: I knew it.
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Jason: *sniffs Dick*
Jason: are you wearing bath and body works warm vanilla sugar?
Dick:
Dick: how?
Dick: yes?
Dick: I heard spiders hate vanilla.
Tim: spiders hate basic bitches because basic bitches wear vanilla.
Bonus:
Bruce passing Jason’s room. Is assaulted by the smell of vanilla. Opens the door seeing ten scent diffusers, a bunch of wax melters and he’s spraying vanilla room spray as he stands on his bed.
Bruce: why.
Jason: spiders.
Bruce:
Bruce, quickly shutting the door: oh my god ones hanging from the ceiling above you!
Jason screams and falls with a clatter and thud.
Bruce, chuckling turns into Alfred.
Alfred:
Bruce: I’m sorry.
I fear you need to stop estimating how long wc are gonna be. this is like, what the third time or something you've said the wc was gonna be 7k or 5k and then it's not. I fear your prediction skills are lacking, lol
not complaining, btw, love everything you post so will absolutely enjoy an extra 13k words. just. maybe. possibly. stop estimating
LMFAO FAIR
Damian: yeah i like to take videos of animals i see in the wild. i don't see as much in Gotham as i did back in the league, but there's some cool squirrels around sometimes. Tim: oh you have videos of squirrels? show me, i like squirrels. Dick: yeah let us see! Damian: *gets out phone, brings up video* Tim and Dick: *watching over Damian's shoulder* *distant screams of pain in the back of the video* Tim: Tim: dude where the fuck was this? Damian, absently: this one? i think this was outside Titan's Tower. Tim: Dick: *more screams, crashes and bangs* Dick, casually: hey those screams kinda sound like Tim. Tim: Tim: iS THIS FROM WHEN JASON TRIED TO KILL ME?!? Damian: hm? oh, yeah, probably. Tim: YOU WERE THERE??? Damian: not IN the tower; Jason cracked the window of his car and left me to wait outside with a Kindle. Tim: Dick: Damian: i was reading 'Crime and Punishment'. Tim: WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU THERE?! Damian: i dunno, he just told me he had to run a few errands before he could drop me off at my father's. i didn't know one of the errands was beating up you. Dick: and you heard the screams and just didn't check or worry? Damian: did you see how fat that squirrel was? i was distracted. Tim: oh my god-
Bruce’s 6’4 220 lb kid is the one who needs to feel small and be protected
He’s literally a baby….. but fr Jason being an absolute tank who really just misses the feeling of ducking in and out of Batman’s cape…. Pain….
Damian: I don’t understand, father keeps picking me up and treating me like I’m some sort of child—
Jason, visibly holding back tears: yeah what a dick move
@frownyalfred
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I need a willis year one comic because I need to know what that guys deal was. He was in so many situations. Jason inherited his ability to get into situations from him
OP’s tags just made me think of a Willis Todd POV comic like:
July 17th. What a night! Shiva rowed me over to the little island…
"I'm pregnant."
Tim doesn't pause his typing, ignoring Jason when he's up to something is the best he can do. He huffs, why can't the older one just not annoy him when he has a report to fill?
He turned to Jason. Jason laughs while making fun at Tim "I can't believe you fell for that! Man can't get preggo dumbass."
