dead bat walking

"I think this whole" Jason stretched out in the bed and put his hands behind his head, "arrangement... says a whole lot more about you than it does me."

"And I think," Kyle paced the room, "that you thinking this is a moral failing or scandal on my part says a lot more about you than me."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jason sat up. Kyle felt his eyes track him through the room. His... friend... acquaintance... rival... lover... whatever he was, was always on edge.

"You're not as bad as you think you are." Kyle plopped down in the bed next to him and wrapped an arm around the scowling man. "Not as scary either. You're like a kitten."

"A... kitten? Very creative, Rayner."

"I know I am, thank you," Kyle responded. "Are we seriously still on last name basis, Todd? After all that?"

"I would hope not, considering you were literally in me ten minutes ago," he snorted and shook his head. His face turned red. "Bad joke, sorry. I'll shut up now."

"You can do that?" Kyle said with mock suprise.

"What? Shut up or apologize?"

"Both."

"Smartass," Jason huffed out a laugh and leaned in closer. He rested his head on Kyle's chest. Kyle moved his arm into a more comfortable position and held him in place. It was nice. Peaceful, the way the eye of a hurricane was.

"Hal knows about us," Kyle said after a moment, both for transparency and to break the silence. He felt Jason tense up. "He said he wouldn't tell Bruce."

"And I should believe that because?" Right. Jason didn't know Hal the way he did.

"Because I trust him. I told him not to tell so he won't."

"You trust him?" Jason sounded skeptical.

"With my life." It was a fair question coming from Jason. Jason had plenty of reason not to trust easily. He was like a stray cat, to bring back his analogy from earlier. He couldn't be told something or someone was safe, he had to go to them willingly and see for himself, something he did not do often. He trusted no one but here he was with Kyle. He had been burned so many times by so many people but he kept coming back to him. He let Kyle see the hurt behind his tough exterior. Kyle saw beyond the mask. No one else got through to him, but Kyle did. Batman had called him a lost cause, but Kyle knew there was still some good in him. He saw the good.

"He also said this would blow up in my face," Kyle continued. "And that it was risky, but then I brought up Sinestro and Carol and he shut up after that."

"He's right, y'know," Jason exhaled. "If Batman, or any of those other boy scouts for that matter, does find out, this'll hurt you a hell of a lot more than me. It's your reputation on the line here, hero. Nothing I do could ever change how he views me. I'm tainted forever. So what if I'm screwing one of the good guys? He'd probably think I manipulated my way into your bed."

"You didn't though-"

"I know that, but would anyone else believe that for a second?" Jason crawled on top of him. Their eyes locked as he made his way up his body, his face inches from Kyle's.

"You know I'm no good, Rayner," Jason whispered. Fuck that was hot. He ghosted his lips over Kyle's for a moment, before he got off him and began to get dressed. "I don't understand what you see in me."

"You're not. Jason you aren't as bad as you say you are." He sighed and ran his fingers though his hair. "Do you know what Hal was doing when I met him?"

"You?" Jason grinned in the way he only does when hes ragebaiting someone. "I'm kidding. I know about Parallax, now why the hell do you keep bringing up Hal? Your daddy issues catching up with you?"

"You're one to talk about daddy issues," Kyle grumbled. Focus Kyle, don't fall for the ragebait, or the hormones for that matter. The tight shirt and long, flowy skirt did wonders for his figure. Kyle wanted them off again. "I'm bringing him up because he also did some bad things, and he redeemed himself. If he can do it, so can you."

"Yeah sure," Jason drew out the last syllable. He bent down with his hands on his knees, clearly mocking Kyle's rational. "Have you ever considered that I like the way I am? Maybe I don't want to change, ever consider that?"

"Can you really say you're happy though?"

Jason sighed and walked to the door. "Does that really matter? Kyle. I am not a good person. I know this, you know this. You're not going to 'fix me' by fucking me into your mattress a couple times a month." He turned to leave.

"Jason, wait," Kyle scrambled up and grabbed his wrist- it was a damn good thing he was wearing underwear, this would've been awkward as all hell if he were naked. "I believe in you. I think what everyone else says about you is bullshit. They all think you're some mindless brute but you're not. You're smart, funny, the whole package. It's a shame they don't see the real you."

Kyle regretted approximately half of those words the second they left his mouth. Jason stared at him for a moment. Kyle fully expected to be ridiculed but Jason collapsed into his arms. He buried his head in his shoulder and gripped him like a lifeline.

"No one's ever said that to me before," he murmured. Kyle tentatively hugged him back.

"I think I love you," Kyle spoke without thinking. Jason shoved him away like he had been burned. His eyes were wild.

"I- I need to go," Jason booked it out of the room, leaving Kyle alone in his apartment.