A Childhood Keepsake

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

Actually if you’re riding in my passenger seat your job is to throw potatoes at people I decide I don’t like. Hey fuck that guy. Yeah go ahead and tuber that bitch.

tumblr isn't a blogging website its a playground at lunch and we're all playing vampires and wizards and pirates and werewolves

idk if any young person needs to hear this but when you work at a job you absolutely can google anything you don’t know or ask someone for help. school has you conditioned to think you have to have everything memorized all the time but let me tell you. I am dumb as shit and I am great at my job because it’s not a test, it’s just work. the more resources you utilize the better.

I’m serious about this, I got out of school and thought life would be like a test where I had to have everything memorized and be smart all the time and then I got into the work force and was like. Oh everyone is stupid and google exists ok cool

yes i'm a hater yes i'm full of overwhelming love for humanity these things are not in conflict

Who am I to deny myself every single desire that crosses my pea brain

‘dad bod’ is just ‘bear’ in Straight

I wouldn’t date a tall female bruh we gon get in a argument and she gon put my phone on the top of the fridge

why am I laughing so hard???!!!