Kemuntai Hanashi mutual is up (Hi if you see this) and it reminded me that I wanted to write about the chapter but the chapter is genuinely so fucking good to me Im just going ksjdhfsdkhfskdf in my head.
Like, what do I even say? Kemutai Hanashi is already an extremely introspective work regarding it's central relationship and how it interacts with the culture surrounding it and the fraught insecurity something without a clear definition can cause the people within the relationship to feel. But it's not really subtle about it like what can I say that the manga doesn't already?
Uh I suppose- While Arita calls his behavior purely be caused by insecurity I feel like that isn't a necessarily accurate way to describe his breakdown at the hands of amanormative society.
Notably, one of the things he thinks of right before he asks Takeda to have sex with him is this (notably heterosexual) showcase of physical intimacy in the train he saw, and the smoke grate where he sees two of his old classmates talk about how if you love someone you naturally want to have sex with them:
The main thing he worries about in his thoughts is this inability to explain the nature their relationship to others, and how as a result of this, the people around him are viewing it as a Temporary arrangement that will naturally be subsumed by something more permanent that they can understand (romance and marriage.)
When Arita brings up that he's living with Takeda at the reunion his classmates treat it with the same level of casualness, and with the same implicitly Temporary nature as living in a college boarding house. Something that you experience and then move on from as one becomes a "proper adult."
A romantic partnership is one that continues past the point where people would naturally separate due to time, with marriage being what confirms it as something with permanence and importance over more temporary relationships.
Though the manga itself comments that marriage in particular is something currently only available to a heterosexual relationship. Meaning that even if their relationship was of a romantic nature it wouldn't be "confirmed" or "validated" through it.
The permanence of the arrangement wouldn't be acknowledged. Which is another reason why the smoke grate conversation brings up marriage.
To be married is to have the permanence and importance of the relationship be validated. If only one side seems to be invested in the relationship, and interested in being married then the relationship threatens to backslide into something that's "temporary," something is just a "simple friendship."
If marriage isn't in the cards for one reason or another, but one wants another way to "validate" that a person loves them, even if that validation doesn't have the same "permanence" as marriage. Then one way to go about gaining that validation is sex:
Now, that's not how it works. But it's an idea Arita desperately clings onto.
If he is able to explain their relationship as something that is romantic and/or sexual in nature then their relationship gains a level of validity in the eyes of others, even if it won't be "legally recognized" (because again marriage is acknowledged as something that a heterosexual couple is allowed) and will never be considered "permanent" in the same way a married couple is considered permanent. It can at least be considered something that has a degree of importance. A relationship that is at least considered not as temporary as a "friendship" or being "roommates" is.
Like, that's the kicker, even if this was a romantic relationship Arita would never be able to gain that acknowledgement of permanence and importance and Understanding that he wants because the main way people consider a relationship to be permanent and absolutely important is through marriage.
However having it be considered something wholly temporary is destroying him. This is why I wouldn't necessarily call this just insecurity, though that is a part of it. It's also because his relationship with Takeda being misconstrued in such a manner that invalidates and diminishes its importance and stability.
Arita is also a noted hater of when Takeda is being dismissed or diminished, and what Takeda Does for him and what he contributes to his life is being considered something unimportant. Driving him further into his crisis as he is unable to properly Say what he thinks. Leading him to be willing to, in his eyes, "distort" their relationship.
Thankfully, Takeda can't give two shits about what other people think because he's felt excluded from others his entire life, and is able to comfort him through his crisis before doing something he Really Doesn't Want To Do. But it's just-
It's good. It's good. I don't have an ending statement or a conclusion right now. It's just So Good. Everyone go read Kemutai Hanashi right now-
