Ombeod

I think at some point Ilya’s therapist gets concerned by what seems to be a codependent and anxious attachment btw Ilya and Shane. When Shane the Doer hears about it, For the sake of his husband’s mental health’s improvement and the preservation of a healthy marriage, he convinces Ilya to try installing boundaries and do activities separately. It lasts a week before Ilya comes home sobbing from a video game session with Troy communicating that if they keep this boundary thing up he’ll need to switch his meds’ dosage because he’s miserable. Shane jumps from the couch he’s been sitting on for 40minutes because he was supposed to eat diner with rose but he kept wanting to make jokes and look at ilya to see him laugh but he wasn’t there and it SUCKED OMG and Shane starts sobbing too because if they keep this up he will have to get on his own meds and let’s never do this again I hate it when I can’t smell you near me

Ilya packing for the cottage like "gotta look hott gotta give SLUT but also show that I'm cool and don't care even though hollander knows I care and it should be warm right let me bring tank tops because Shane—Hollander—no—Shane likes them I know he does I think he does ah swim stuff tiny shorts the ones I wore at the pool in Tampa when Holl—Shane looked good enough to eat maybe he will let me eat him maybe I will tell him I care for him NO this is a sex vacation NO we are something maybe we could be something did I really dance at Scott Hunter's gay club do you think Shane would dance with me sexy at a club or maybe we will dance under the stars at his boring country cottage maybe I will tell him everything maybe I will just tell him one thing I like about him maybe I will bring one Boston Raiders t-shirt to piss him off maybe I will suck him off outside maybe I will tell him I love him— ONE THING AT A TIME ROZANOV"

when they come out and everyone is confused why russia's greatest love machine ilya rozanov is fucking boring shane hollander and ilya is like no no he is perverted sex freak i am the boring one honestly i can't keep up marleau

i feel like after hollanov goes public they absolutely get asked who bottoms, and while shane has a perfectly professional “that is a deeply personal question and i would prefer my relationship not be boiled down to cheap stereotypes” statement prepared (if he even dignifies them with a response), ilya just says shit like “is me, i am bottom, love to get dicked down by hollander, what you don’t think big tough russian can take it like a man?” and nobody quite knows if he’s kidding or not

This, he realized, was why people were so wild about sex. He had never, ever felt like this with anyone before. And of course Ilya Rozanov, all of nineteen years old, fucked with the confidence and skill of, like, a sex god.

I am reading this at the moment. It is as devastating as it is beautiful. ❤️❤️