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REBLOG TO KILL TOM

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mildmayfoxe

1) any stretching is better than no stretching

2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable

3) statistically you will never be the worst person at anything, there is always someone in the world who is worse at stuff than you are

comicaurora

How is little miss Wolf doing?

I had to confiscate my birthday bouquet from her because she decided to stress test exactly how cat-safe alstroemerias are

energyprison

honestly having a brother is a lot like just knowing some guy

duckbunny

don't infantilise yourself. you are not a child who needs an adult to make your decisions for you. you are a splendid and magnificent autocrat and you are consulting your trusted advisors. you are exercising great wisdom by inviting an expert to give their opinion before making your ruling. often the path of wisdom is to say "good morning, I'm trying to [perform task] and I have a question about [aspect], can you tell me who I should speak to for advice?" before you do it. sometimes the path of wisdom is to hire a plumber. there are times when you cannot do things for yourself but that doesn't mean you are not an adult. you don't need a grown-up. you need a specialist.

duckbunny

this has come up a couple of times so let me be really really clear:

the path of wisdom is sometimes to hire a plumber.

the path of wisdom is always to hire an electrician.

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weirdplutoprince

insane how people think i can just do things. "can you mail me this?" and get killed by the post office desk workers?????!!!?

saltingthecookingwine

For added context, people who don’t remember the 1980s, there were a serious of deadly shootings carried out by postal workers against their coworkers.

It was mostly covered by the media as a joke, as I recall.

weirdplutoprince

post office scary

evilscientist3

i swear if the wizard doesnt let me out of his abandoned salt mine soon im gonna fucking LOSE IT

ttechniic

what did you do to be put into the salt mine

evilscientist3

i MAY have eaten his special wizard meal. but i think he should let me out tbh

ttechniic

was it good? was it worth it? are you able to bear the weight of your sin?

evilscientist3

im not gonna lie it was fucking delicious i would fucking do it again. wait shit youre the fucking wizard in disguise seeing if ive learned my lesson arent you. fuck.

ttechniic

10 YEARS IN THE ABANDONED SALT MINE.

siderealglimmer

acparvis

for the past year i’ve been seriously getting into my art again. i’ve been entirely pencil and paper until now - this is compressed as fuck because i don’t have software to import with yet - but it felt right to return to a character i know by heart to commemorate starting digital art again (hence why my colour and shading and lighting and everything is ASS but it’s my first time on earth!!!!)

this however is all made weirder by the fact that i actually literally know someone irl who knows the Actual Alex Parvis, like the Actual Guy. so i think i have to put my pen down with regards to drawing his fifteen year old minecraft series persona.

i’m not changing my url tho

baddywronglegs

If a particular air freshener scent is only ever used in bathrooms it becomes the smell of shit by proxy

baddywronglegs

Absofuckinglutely not

slutdge

"make an account to-"

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kosmogrl

chaoticneutralwife

the next day after exerting myself too much because i felt good for once

cheaphalloweencostume

there’s a Masters of the Universe billboard near the cafe i like and i need to find a picture of this particular design because just describing how shitty it is won’t convey anything

cheaphalloweencostume

okay there’s no pictures of it online because no one gives a shit but imagine: i can’t drink my coffee without making eye contact with the gigantic shitty visage of Jared Leto Skeletor. however, they’ve completely rendered him bland. tasteless. he’s not green or yellow and has like no purple on him. so it’s just Skeletor’s head in his hood, a plain white skull in a black hood, so it looks like Spirit Halloween. and he has 2 red lightbulbs in his eyes

cheaphalloweencostume

very fast rendition of how it feels

orbitingrook

hockeydiva

my collection

foodffs

Classic Pot Roast is comfort food at it’s best, made with potatoes and carrots, slow roasted in the oven is the perfect weekend dinner ready in 3 hours.

https://dinnerthendessert.com/classic-pot-roast-with-vegetables/

Follow for recipes

Is this how you roll?

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enki2

hylianengineer

@copperbadge this seems up your alley

copperbadge

If the system ain't broke, don't fix it, I guess! Accounting may not be the oldest profession, but someone had to keep the books for them.

I mean, in theory I know that Excel is based on the structure of earlier accounting technology that's been around for hundreds of years -- what do we think we did to track commerce before computers? -- but it still kind of blows my mind to, for example, look at my ancestor's journal from a whaling voyage in 1770 and see spreadsheets in the back.

charaznablespeteevee

fangs-4-fags

this is the story of a man named-

oh? what's that? you've transitioned? well, congratulations Stanley!

this is the story of a woman named Stanley.

fangs-4-fags

you can change her pronouns but you can pry Stanley's name out of her cold dead hands

fleetway-super-sonic

@ridge-reginald

caribou-corner

Visit Original Link

i'm a lil rusty but i hope this is gender enough for the masses

fangs-4-fags

hdjfekjdje this is incredible!! thank you

artistredfox

Audio transcription;

This is the story of a man named Stanley. ("Introducing Stanley" from the Stanley parable begins to play.) Wait, hold on, cut the music. (music stops.) What was that, Stanley? You've transitioned? Oh, well, congratulations to you, Stanley! Tell you what, I'll redo the intro for you, just to make sure. Okay? Good, alright. This is the story of a woman named Stanley. ("Introducing Stanley" from the Stanley parable begins to play.)

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