sword hell

as long as the united states exists there will be no peace on earth

you have to be in a certain specific mood to listen to classic rock because sometimes a guy is playing his guitar and you're just like shut the fuck up man

I hope this joke outlives the context that made it, leaving future generations baffled.

i think this is probably true of every office, but there's a middle aged woman working in business who doesn't hold any particular place in the chain of command but is Sovereign. i was running support and she has access to more secure network drives than i do. im pretty sure she has an admin account. i was having trouble with my parking pass and my boss just said to talk to kristen- one day later i had parking in any garage on campus. she's not even in charge of parking in our building

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

if you’re 26 and older, reblog.

I remember when I was 26. The mastodon hunts were the highlight of my day, and we cheered whenever we made fire...

Bitches love reblogging this post every Tuesday the 18th

i love the point in the hero’s journey where he gets bent over and railed until he cries

I'm pregnant and it's *spins wheel* Ötzi the Iceman's

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

interesting dates on this post

can I fucking help you, my liege

every time someone is like ok make your christmas list im like well suddenly it turns out ive never desired anythign in my fucking life