shine bright, circus man

Someone hit me with their car and I got isekai'd to a world that's really similar to my old one except in this one my collarbone is mysteriously broken

You really can’t find this type of humor anywhere else

god I would be UNSTOPPABLE if I was capable of consistently initiating tasks. just you wait. you'll be waiting a while but just you wait

renaming my ships to HMS We Won't Die in the Arctic and HMS No Scurvy before successfully navigating the northwest passage

scantily is basically the most classic way to be clad

This is iron clad erasure

kitten i'll be honest daddy isn't sure he's cut out for full time employment

Also if you regularly work with kids/teens I cannot stress how important it is that you know someone who's like really into lame emo junk. There was a girl my dad was working with who just flat out refused to talk to adults or anyone at all and one day I was there and I saw her wearing a homemade bracelet that had beads that said YLDNDAHFHHACYCSYCDAYDKK and since I was also once a 14 year old making niche homemade mcr merch I was like "oh my god you like dnd Audrey Hepburn Fangoria Harry Houdini and croquet you cant swim you can't dance and you dont know karate!!!" and she looked at me like I'd said literal magic words and now we talk about music all the time

If you're working with troubled kids you need several people trained in child psychology with godlike levels of patience and at least one person who knows five nights at freddys lore front to back

i wonder how many they'll need

i hesitate even to speculate

i love counterspell. "i cast fireball!" no you dont

Creating ships for the tax write-off

Creating ships to get that fucking whale.

Creating ships to circumvent the East India Trading Company's stranglehold on the Caribbean

man who opened a parenthesis he forgot to close 4 years ago is tragically unaware everything he's said since has been an aside