i am the beast i worship

A wretched little horse is washed away.😈

white usamericans when asked how they're doing, will never say "bad". they'll just say "I'm hanging in there" and that is universally understood as them being so so bad. like. no american is happily hanging in there. we don't like the hang.

underrated tumblr feature is being able to catch up to yourself on your dash. so there is an END POINT. and you can say “ah, I have reached where I left off, there is no more to see! I’ll take my leave now and come back later when there are new posts.” instead of being stuck forever in a bottomless algorithm pit digging deeper and deeper till you have to summon monumental strength to climb out

I'm still on cloud nine after last night. I wish I could do ponyplay every day. Even if we didn't actually play and I just got very forcefully (consensual force) dressed up like a pony and paraded around for 5 minutes. I need 10000 dkk so I can get my own pony suit. Fuuuuck.

I realized I was crazy about ponyplay but I didn't realize I was already "gets aroused by the smell of rubber" crazy. What the fuck.

You’re just not ready. At no point in this video when he says the next thing are you ready.

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

"I hate when King Arthur has all these fussy little steps" -- Camelot cleaning staff, probably