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@occaisonallywitchy
we've got a life to love living.

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The black areas represent the remaining natural dark skies in the United States
I’ve been in the middle of the ocean at night and now live in texas and it is so hard to explain to people that no, they have not ever seen the night sky. It is so hard to explain to people that what they think is a proper night sky is fucking pathetic. A disgrace.
People talk about how you can’t see stars in the city and yeah, that’s true, but their concept of “seeing stars” is being able to make out orion’s belt.
So, so few people have see the sky in all its glory and it’s not sad. It’s a fucking crime. Seeing a perfectly dark night, no clouds, not a hint of light pollution? That’s a fucking religious experience.
The sky the vast vast majority of us grew up with is not the sky that inspired us to look up. It is not the sky that inspired constellations. You can’t even see most constellations.
Your ancestors looked at the night sky and said “surely, that is where the gods must live.” And you might be lucky if you can see hardly more than a handful of stars.
The sky is full, fucking FULL, of stars, and you’ve never seen them.
I remember the first time I saw a properly dark sky and was like ‘oh that’s why it’s called the milky way’ and promptly started to cry
When we were on a field trip to the middle of the red sea, I remember us all crowding at the end of the boat that didn’t have lights and just lying on our backs and staring
When you see a properly dark starscape
You understand why people wrote poems and made up legends and built rockets and said heaven’s in the sky
The universe is infinite. So are the stars
I’m trying to find a picture on google images to show you what I mean and I can’t find any
You think of the night sky like fairy lights on black velvet, but it’s not it’s not it’s like, like, dust in sunlight, like - I can’t find the words.
The stars are everywhere, like sugar, like glitter, like dust. You can’t find the constellations at first, not because you can’t recognise them, but because there’s so many stars you can’t pick out the familiar line of Orion’s belt. The North star has gone from bright familiarity to almost vanishing among a thousand, a hundred thousand, a million other lights. The milky way is a line of light arcing across the sky like a moon-trail on water only infinitely, infinitely bigger.
And for the first time in your life you’ll understand why people call it a dome, because it is, it’s three dimensional in exactly the way a city skyscape isn’t.
You’ll understand why Luthien Tinúviel danced under starlight, not moonlight, why people in a time before we knew the earth was round still looked up and wondered and built telescopes and dreamed about the stars.
The stars are endless and ancient and infinite and you will stand with your head craned back and your rucksack forgotten at your feet and you’ll feel like you’re falling upwards into that great bright sky like it’s calling you home and you’ll wonder how you ever thought the stars were beautiful before tonight when all you’d ever seen were the naked empty skyscapes of your home. And you’ll cry and you’ll spend the rest of your time there gazing up and wondering and imagining what it would be like to stand among those bright silver flecks
And then you’ll come home, and look up, and fall in a different kind of love with that handful of blazing stars to stubborn to be outdone by the whole of human invention, leading you home despite the light pollution and the clouds and the endless bustle of this shrinking planet.
this is not a shot from a space telescope overlayed behind a woods, or anything. that’s not the sky as kepler or hubble or james webb see it. that’s the sky from a dark sky park in michigan. that’s the view you are missing out on from right here on earth. that’s the view that has been stolen from you.
I fell in love with the sky as a child growing up in western Minnesota, miles from a small town, near a massive lake and just downhill from an 18-hole golf course - the pure darkness broken only by a single bright light I could escape by hauling my telescope up that hill or into a nearby field
I’d often set an alarm to wake me in the middle of the night, so it was as dark as possible and my eyes as dark-adapted as they coud get, and starlight alone was enough to guide me
that’s what’s been taken from us all
OH OKAY so actually im fully ugly crying snotty-sobbing about this. what
Ruby, What-what’s wrong? What is it? How I love being a woman!
ANNE WITH AN E (2017 - 2019) | s03 ep05 ‘I AM FEARLESS AND THEREFORE POWERFUL’
Beltane Celebration Ideas
For when you want or need to keep it low-key, not everyone can go to a maypole dance or have a bonfire after all. Pick and combine to create the Beltane ritual that fits you personally.
If the weather permits it, go outside and soak up the spring sun. Go for a walk, have a picnic or meet up with your friends at your favorite café.
Plant what will grow into something you'll enjoy in summer. If you have a garden, great. If not little kitchen herb pots are just perfect.
Pick wild flowers or buy yourself a lovely bouqet. Look up how to make a wreath/flower crown. Dandelions or daisies are great for this and since most people consider them weeds, no one will miss them if you pick them.
Make your own little maypole (there are plenty of tutorials on pinterest) or simply get some ribbons or string to braid. You can make a bracelet, tie around a flower bouqet to hang up to dry or weave it into the flower crown from the previous idea.
Dance. Put on some music and move your body. Celebrate life. (Secret tip, putting on a flowy skirt to twirl around in can make it extra fun if skirts are your thing.)
Light a candle, watch the flame. Maybe write something you want to leave behind and burn it. (Please be safe and cautious around fire, do not leave it unattended.)
Make a tarot spread, digital is fine if you don't own a deck. I personally like the simple 3-card spread (past, present, future) and found a lovely Beltane-modification somewhere online: the bonfire (what you're burning/leaving behind), the seed (what you're planting and need to nurture), the blossom (what you'll reap in summer).
People I met for a few moments that live in my head forever.

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2020 we survived 2021 we endured 2022 we developed 2023 we THRIVE amen
2023 energy
there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.
reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.
i am looking into your eyes, i am holding your hand. i absolutely promise.
if you can just live long enough, your soul will build your body into a home. you will live there and you will find a way to be at peace. it’s worth the time and it’s worth the work. i promise.
Your soul will build your body into a home.
My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."
He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."
He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"
I did.
"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."
It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.
So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.
just gonna go cry thank u kermit
{ID - TikTok from @ CamGarrity featuring Kermit the Frog looking directly into the camera and speaking softly. Transcription: “No! Don’t... Don’t scroll away. Heh. I just wanted to remind you that I love you! Let’s breathe in together... And breathe out. I’m real proud of you!” /end Description}
@gui1ttripping

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I don't know who needs to hear this, but if the phrase "self care" doesn't resonate with you, try calling it "system maintenance" and see if that clicks.
Reblogging to add amazing tags from @meta-theory
#this both makes things more fun and also is a really good analogy#because there are four types of system maintenance and that makes the term much more exact than the nebulous ''self-care''#and therefore much more helpful to those of us who uhhh struggle with nebulosity#for anyone curious the four types are:#1. corrective (to fix current problems)#2. preventative (to avoid future problems)#3. adaptative (to re-adjust to any changes)#4. perfective (to work towards a better system)#I really like this idea I'm gonna make a checklist
you are good even when you are unemployed.
you are good even when you need to rely on others’ help.
you are good even when you are depressed.
you are good even when you are hurt.
you are good even when you are scared.
you are good even when you are overwhelmed.
you are good even when you are not tidy.
you are good even when you are confused.
you are good even when you have difficulty performing tasks.
you are good even when you feel like you’ll never measure up to being an adult.
symptoms are not morality.
i swear screening tests have the worst phrasing in the world sometimes, tell me what you mean in words that make sense or i’m setting you on fire
Oh yeah, disability tests do that sort of phrasing all the time. Like they ask you how well you do things, and so you think they mean on an average day. But really they’re asking you what you’re like at your worst– the very reason why you’re disabled in the first place. On a good day putting socks on is easy enough, a bit of a struggle but I manage. On a bad day? Forget the socks, I’m not even leaving bed.
I think the rule of thumb is evaluate yourself like every day is a terrible day, or else people won’t think you need help at all. Whether it’s a physical disability or you’re nuerodivergent, people will try to get away with not having to pay money for your needs. Better to have things in place because you never know when a bad day will become a bad year.
So this is UK specific but I think can apply everywhere!
A friend of mine works as a disability advocate, and has spent most of her working like battling the DWP and making sure low income and disabled people are able to fucking survive. (She also provides this service for me for free because we’re friends and I can say without a shadow of a doubt I would be D-E-D if not for her)
And because I have trouble understanding questions, we go through any paperwork together.
So one of the questions I tend to trip on is ‘can you walk X distance?’ because… I can! On a good day! Or with my crutches! Or leaning on a wall! Or very very very very VERY slowly.
So she’ll ask the question and I’ll answer and then she’ll ask if I could do it on my worst day, completely unaided. Because the point of the benefits is to get you that aid.
So once you’ve parsed out what the question is really asking you, ask yourself “Could I do this on my absolutely worst day, completely unaided?” And if the answer is no, tell them you can’t do it.
Any time you answer a question with ‘Yes, but-’ in these situations it means the answer is probably no. Because they’re really asking ‘can you do this thing the way everyone else can?’ and if you need a system to handle socks, or crutches to walk X distance, or noise cancelling headphones to get on a bus, or three alarms to make dinner, or anything else to help you do a ‘basic’ task by everyone else’s standards, then you can’t do it the way everyone else can and you answer the question with a no.
i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out
brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad

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i love it when you start doing little things different & notice how much you’ve grown as a person just by that. like you from a year ago would not have handled that situation the way you are now. you’ve changed for the better. & that is so satisfying
This is joyous
Watching each of these jumps, where if it's just a person on screen at first, think, "Where are the dogs?!? When are they gonna get- there they are!!"