Zegras Is Greener On The West Coast;)

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“I DID NOTTT”

NHL Player Media Tour | sep 16, 2022

So, the NHL announced there won’t be a dress code when the season resumes. Here’s what’s about to happen:

Tyler Seguin will rock up shirtless for every game. There might be some subtle bronze powder action going on.

Alex Ovechkin is also shirtless, but he’ll wear stained sweatpants and there will be dried baby vomit on his shoulders. 

Nobody can see Travis Konecny, since he rocks up head to toe in camo.

Nolan Patrick on the other hand will let his hipster fashion sense fly, which means he’ll look like somebody dipped him in glue and rolled him through a flea market.

PK Subban comes dressed as his fiance in a dress, heels and everything. Lindsey Vonn follows him with a boom box blasting “Sissy that walk” by Rupaul.

Brent Burns will be naked apart from a wolfskin loin cloth. There are brambles in his beard. After some investigative questions he admits to spending the last few weeks in the woods, playing poker with some sasquatches.

Connor McDavid lets out his inner goth and dresses all in black with white make-up. Wails in agony every time somebody addresses him directly.

Gabriel Landeskog comes in a variety of ABBA-themed shirts. 

Auston Matthews will wear tie dye only. Extra bonus if Harambe is somewhere on an item of clothing.

Braden Holtby wears a rainbow mask and a slightly unbuttoned shirt. Everybody around him immediately displays fever-like symptoms that are actually just extreme horniness.

There will be no less than ten different players rocking up in full-on Freddie Mercury cosplay. Yes, Tyson Barrie is one of them. 

Matthew Tkachuk will wear a “I ❤️ Drew Doughty” shirt. 

IT SHOULDN’T be surprising, it SHOULDN’T drive people to tears, IT SHOULD be commonplace, BUT IT’S NOT. 

Black lives matter