Moths ❤️

Transmasculinity and trans manhood is as diverse as transfemininity and trans womanhood.

You simply choose to reduce it to because it fits your already existing mentality that casts masculinity and manhood as the inherent oppressor.

Also if you think that way I'm pretty sure I can expect you to ALSO be reductive and exclusionist to any transfem person who doesn't fit your normative ideas... soooo.

oh its like talking to a fucking funhouse mirror with these people tbh. its the same with that one guy who was like "checkmate MRA, women in the 19th century were legally property and couldn't wear pants!!" when that. is literally an example of how trans men were also directly systemically affected by misogyny.

these people never stop for one single second to think of trans men who never get to transition. they never think about the countless trans men throughout history who have lived and died as women. who have been subject to child marriage and clitorectomies and been treated as legal property. they don't think about trans men in countries right now who go through all of those things, who legally cannot be outside without a male guardian because they are legally female, who cannot even get their own passport because they are legally female. its so fucking frustrating.

radical feminism has its hooks so deep in some parts of the trans community, and frankly a lot of people have internalized trans separatist talking points. even if they don't realize it they don't seem to think of trans people as a coherent group. all trans people's experiences are seen as just a shadow cast by cis men’s privilege and cis women’s oppression, and our experiences are reducible to cis men and cis women's experiences but slightly different.

people will tell you that people seen as men are gender-policed much more harshly than people seen as women and every little deviation towards femininity is noticed and punished, and that's why trans guys have it easier. but you'll also hear people tell you that people seen as men have so much more wiggle room, men can be all kinds of sizes and shapes meanwhile people seen as women have to fit into this tiny little box, and that's why trans guys have it easier.

these are two entirely contradictory lines of logic, but they lead to the same conclusion. because the conclusion is the point. its a backformed theory of gender. people believe, for whatever reason, that "trans guys have it easier" is an objective fact, and then storytell an explanation for why that is that sounds right to them. [...]. its about people just feeling, on a gut level, that trans guys must have it easier, by which they really mean, transmasculine suffering isn't socially visible, and it isn't natural for me to imagine it, therefore it must not exist; yet, trans suffering in general clearly exists, so there must be some reason that transmasculine suffering feels so abstract and immaterial to me and others.

once you start to see this you can't unsee it. people will just say insane bullshit that could easily be used to make the opposite point they are making

here's an example of this in action:

"if someone masculine happens to have something feminine about them, it is dissuaded"

"trans men are both men and targets of misogyny."

"so youre misgendering yourself and clinging to your agab."

"no, trans men are most often treated like broken women and are percieved and enforced by society as such."

"see? transandrobros love talking about how much trans women are male socialized with male privilege, so they can be innocent little babies with glass bones and paper skin"

"no, trans women at any stage of transition are also othered and treated as broken, no trans person has access to-"

"so youre misgendering yourself and clinging to your agab against the big scary trans women"

I need physical help for all self care and showering, I use adaptive cutlery or else I can’t feed myself, I’m also both bladder and bowel incontinent and will be wearing adult pull ups soon.

No I’m not babyish or gross for needing physical help, I have ataxia spastic triplegia and left sided weakness, this makes fine motor skills very difficult and also makes it so my bladder and bowel muscles are weakened.

#my old phone looks like this on my shelf lmao #im too scared to touch it to throw it away #idk what trash this even goes into when its at this point

The pillow-shaped object here used to be the phone’s battery. It’s not a battery anymore. Now it’s a balloon full of corrosive, pyrophoric chemicals and hydrogen gas and it’s one puncture away from burning your house down. I am 100% serious. You should be scared to touch it.

But you gotta touch it, because you gotta get it out of your house before the pressure builds up to the point where the balloon pops. This isn’t going to happen soon – there is no need to panic – but it will happen eventually.

And, indeed, it doesn’t go in the ordinary trash. You put this in the ordinary trash and you’re gonna set the garbage truck on fire. Don’t do that to the garbage collectors, their job is hard enough already.

The first thing you need to do is get a fireproof container. The most common household item that qualifies as a fireproof container is a cast-iron cookpot with a cast-iron lid – often sold as a “Dutch oven.” Any other cooking container that’s unreactive, has a very high melting point, and has a lid made of the same materials will also work: enameled or stainless steel, Pyrex with glass lid, etc.

However: Do not use a pot with a PTFE-based non-stick coating. If the battery does explode, the fire will probably be hot enough to degrade a PTFE coating, producing toxic smoke. (Not that you should breathe the smoke from the battery fire either, but PTFE breakdown products are worse.) Do not use a pot made of aluminium or copper. The fire might even get hot enough to melt those.

Whatever container you use, you might have to throw away along with the phone, so don’t use your good Dutch oven for this. Go to a thrift store and buy a cheap one.

Once you have the fireproof container:

Gently pick up the phone and put it in the fireproof container. If possible, gently tape the phone to the bottom of the container to prevent it from bouncing around. Don’t put any padding in there, that’ll just make a fire worse if it does happen. Put the lid on and tape it shut.

Put a label on the container, something like “DEFECTIVE LI-ION BATTERY – FIRE HAZARD”.

It is now reasonably safe to move the container around. However, if the battery does explode, the container is very likely to leak smoke and get hot, so keep it in a well-ventilated area and away from things that will be damaged by heat. Don’t leave it exposed to the weather, either.

You need to find either a hazardous waste disposal site, or an e-waste recycler that will accept defective Li-ion batteries. I can’t help with that because I have no idea where you live.

However, your local fire department, if you have one, will probably be happy to help. Call their non-emergency number. Nothing is on fire yet, so this isn’t an emergency, but things that can easily start a fire are still within the fire department’s responsibilities. Tell them you have a phone with a bulging lithium-ion battery, you put it in a fireproof container, and you want to know how to dispose of it safely.

If the fire department tries to tell you this isn’t dangerous or it’s okay to throw it out in the regular trash (with or without fireproof container), hang up on them and write a cranky letter to your local government representatives, then keep looking for a proper disposal site.

if you take away one warning from my rambling, please let it be this:

if someone is harming you in any way, and at any point seems happy, even briefly: run. do not look back. leave. go. do not trust a word they say. you do not have to forgive them. do not doubt whether they're self-conscious or selfish. just leave. immediately.

♥ - ♥ - ♥

no one who truly cares about you is going to smile at your pain. no one who truly cares about you is going to want to laugh when you cry. no one who truly cares about you is going to put you down and make a joke of it. no one who truly cares about you is going to be satisfied to see you broken.

but they might do this and still tell you they care - that they're just concerned and frustrated. that they're just not a sentimental or soft person, and this is how they show love. that they're just stressed and tired, they didn't mean it. that they're just this, just that. those aren't reasons. they're excuses.

if they give you an excuse, you tell them it still hurts, and they get defensive in any way, or expect you to forgive them: they are not saying anything because they care about you - they are saying something because they care about themselves.

♥ - ♥ - ♥

5 Red Flags (from a survivor)

people like this may just feel like a constant presence that drags you down; you may not realize until the effects on your mental health have sunk in. others may instill terror or become physical, bringing an unpredictable risk of violence.

there are some behaviors that if they are present, no matter what else they say or do, they are dangerous; do not expect change. sadistic abuse means they are enjoying being abusive.

Statements indicating desire for violence or other risk of harm (Threats): "You're making me want to hit you" ; "Do you want to get kicked out?" ; "I should [harmful behavior], it'd be fun" ; other confessions of abusive urges - Threats may be worded more casually, but these are still threats. It's not always "I'm going to fucking kill you." Statements like these are not dark humor or venting. They are threats and signs of what the abuser may escalate towards. --- Threats of suicide from the abuser are included in this, and their purpose is often to use sympathy to maintain control, even if genuine suicidality is present. This is not your responsibility.

Violence towards objects during abusive outbursts: If they throw something, you might be next. If they slam your doors/cabinets, you might be next. Even if nothing gets broken and no one is physically hurt, this is a precursor to assault.

Extreme emotional aggression ("anger"), especially over trivial or mundane situations. Intimidating behavior is a precursor for violence, and as far as your bodymind is concerned, it is violence. They aren't making physical contact, but they are using their form and voice as a tangible threat.

Reckless driving. There is zero amount of reckless driving that is reasonable in the absence of emergencies. There is no situation that would justify someone trapping you inside an unstable, fast moving vehicle to make a point, win an argument, or vent. This is a precursor to murder and carries the highest risk aside from direct assault.

Intimate partner violence in households with children = High risk for co-occurring child abuse. Taking abuse does not protect children. That is a lie that abusers teach their victims in order to get away with it. If you have already "learned the lesson," please take this as your sign that your pain is real. You and your children (and any other victim-survivor reading this) deserve happy, peaceful lives.

♥ - ♥ - ♥

When I hear "tumblr sexyman," I think of Cecil Night Vale being constantly depicted as a skinny white man instead of literally anything else. I think of the background character white men who get elevated over protagonists that are women, people of color, or otherwise not the white man power fantasy.

Cecil Night Vale, as previously mentioned.

Oncelercest, because if there aren't two skinny white men to ship, tumblr fandom will start shipping the skinny white man with himself.

Bill Cipher inexplicably being fanon'd as a white twink despite being a fucking triangle.

Everyone fawning over Marvel Loki while shoving every woman and Black person in the MCU aside.

The way nearly every single character in Hazbin Hotel has the same "tall and skinny" body type, along with all the criticisms Black audience members have made about the issues with Alastor's design.