boobs should have a toggle on/off feature

how did a woman manage to date elvira for 19 years and not tell every single person she knows

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.

The children yearn to be Mewtwo

Sometimes you really need a good personality on your staff.

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

your unreliable narrator fucking bit me

thats not how they told it

OK lads but. Why is the r slur coming back. It's 2026. Why am I hearing so many of The Youth use this word liberally and at whim. Do you need me to ground you. Do I need to sit you on the naughty step. Do you need me to strap you into the Learning Chair and deliver a 4 hour lecture about the history of the r slur, ableism, and why using that word is neither big nor cool. Or do you just need me to punch you in the mouth.

I took a bus to a conference today and the bus driver fully stopped the bus to identify and chastise a person who was playing music out loud on their phone. That is how you get me to actually complete the customer service survey specifically so I can give you top ratings

It's days later and I'm still thinking about this man. Full ass bus pulled over to the side of a state highway with the hazards on, stalking down the center aisle intoning "ALL RIGHT. WHO'S GOT IT. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ON SPEAKER." I want to commission a statue of him. a hero. a king.

“can’t believe women fought to work!! i don’t wanna work!!” women have Been Working they fought to get Paid you know that right ?

if vampires existed in real life i think there would be shady companies advertising "organic blood" sourced from "willing donors" who are coincidentally all poor people being paid like $5 per blood donation. and like haughty vegan vampires who only drink a synthetic blood drink thats brewed in a way thats actively worse for the enviroment. and radical traditionalist vampires who go on tiktok and claim that true alpha chads have to drain and kill people and anyone who leaves their victims alive is a liberal cuck. enter the world of hypothetical insufferable vampire politics with me.

I think it’s weird and annoying that there’s this societal push for “let women be feminine again!!!” when there has still never been any acceptance for masculine women

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

"riding my biggest dildo imagining it's you" ok i ah. hm. i don't quite know how to say this but. perhaps instead consider a thimble

thats right folks. my peonis? cold and made of metal as fuuuuuck