Oblivion Continuum

i saw wallace slice up the moon and eat it as cheese on a cracker as a kid and i just haven't known true satisfaction since

are you the person that kills the spider, makes someone else kill the spider, or catches and releases the spider outside

Fourth option: make someone else take the spider outside ;)

I lost it at Earth

Boys will be boys

Living her best life

That last one honestly belongs in hell

ALL OF THESE HAVE ME WHEEZING AND CACKLING SO MUCH

I was hoping for exactly one thing when I unmuted and I was not disappointed

25-35 is such a weird fucking age because you’re 100% a bread-and-butter Standard Edition Millennial but the cool teens are like “ok boomer” because you have a Real Job but the actual Boomers at your job are like “I’m not going to listen to a literal fucking child” as they download 16 self-replicating viruses and meanwhile the Gen Xers are telling you to refinance a mortgage for a house you don’t have and you’re sitting there at the Adults Table with the pretty tasty casserole you cooked because you’ve finally figured out how to do that now but everyone is eating the Boomer’s store-bought macaroni instead and admittedly they do sort of taste similar so it probably wasn’t worth all the trouble of cooking from scratch and you’re trying to comfort the freshly-graduated sobbing 22-year-old next to you because she just woke up here and doesn’t know where she is but you have like maybe 5k dollars in a savings account labelled RETIREMENT that grows approx. twelve cents a year and you keep eating dry macaroni while smiling incomprehensibly and periodically blacking out like ??????????

another day has gone by and honestly it’s pissing me off. the sun comes up one more time and i lose it

guess what happened today. fucking guess

This is so funny? Why does it only have 500 notes I’m screaming I feel this Italian in my soul