too tired to sleep

The Ilya we see in Heated rivalry would not be throwing the first punch, he's not an enforcer. Ilya is a star center and a Pest. He wouldn't be doing his job correctly if he was punching players every other game, it would end up with not enough ice time to let him be the playmaker he's paid to be.

But being a pest can be playmaking! Find a player to bait, emotionally push them just enough that they try to fight you, and then get the fuck out of there before the ref gives you both penalties. This gets your team the power play. There is probably someone on Ilya's line dedicated to helping him get out of the fights he starts, and finishing them for him!

I also think this is also something that Shane would respect. Ilya is good at it and it's a good strategy for his team. I don't think Shane would see it as some dirty tactic, because Shane probably thinks everyone with a brain can see it for what it is! He probably thinks everyone should be able to see that being an asshole is a tactic for Ilya, that it's something to ignore and not fall for, that it's a strategy and not personal beef.

A blanket on sale that she knows is a texture Shane will like, sesame mochi — the only dessert Shane will eat — David’s favourite brand of chocolate covered almonds (Meiji, obviously).

And when Ilya joins their family it takes a while, but Yuna notices that he always reaches for the dried mangoes when there’s a bag open, and he eats the Miss Vickies sweet and spicy ketchup chips by the handful.

So it makes sense to her that she would pick these things up when she sees them at the store and make sure her pantry is stocked for all her boys.

Ilya only finds out when they’re over at his parents on a movie night, and Shane, rummaging around the pantry for snacks groans “at this point, you have more of Ilya’s stuff than you do mine,”

“My stuff?” He asks, completely befuddled.

“Yeah, like the ketchup chips and the dried mangoes. Your snacks take up the whole pantry.”

“My snacks,” Ilya says again flatly, still not understanding. “But you all eat these.”

“I mean sure,” Shane agrees, “but my mom buys them for you. Because you like them.”

“This is true?” Ilya turns to Yuna with wide eyes.

And Yuna smiles softly at him, maybe a little sheepishly at being called out so blatantly, and shrugs.

“I mean, yes, honey. I thought you liked those snacks?”

And Ilya gets all teary and reassures her that he loves these snacks. He’s obsessed with these snacks. They are his favourite snacks.

And he starts noticing how anytime he shows interest in something, it will start showing up regularly at the Hollander household—snacks, candy, that specific Japanese soda Ilya likes with the marble.

alright my thoughts on this yes ok

shane gaining weight post retirement quite literally represents him finally taking back ownership of his body

like yes the performance diet and the regimented work outs became such defining parts of him over the course of so many years, but all of that was in service to hockey. I think within those confines, it felt to him like those were the ways he could control what happened to his body within the limitations of his existence as a professional hockey player.

but post retirement, I think the healing starts to show in how shane learns to stop living in service to hockey. there’s an arc of personal development that happens there, where he has to rediscover who he is outside of the sport, and it turns out that means s’mores and hot dogs and beers and skipping arm day while on vacation and and eating an extra slice of pizza just because he can and while at first I think he feels guilty about some of those choices, his husband is there with him now, assuring him it’s fine, you’ll be fine, have more if you want it and shane realizes ilya’s is the only voice that matters anymore. he’s beholden only to his husband now, not some team owners or league higher-ups who only ever cared about how much money his body was worth to them. and his husband says it’s fine, so it is.

and when the weight starts to show in his tummy and his arms and around the edges of his face, it’s like he’s come into himself at last. he still looks like shane, but he finds he also feels more like shane now, which is weird, because he thought without hockey he’d lose some part of himself he’d never get back, but no. he gains back a part of himself he’d thought was gone forever. his cheeks are chubby like they were when he was a baby, when he would cry and scream and break things out of fear or rage or joy. his stomach is soft like it was when he was a toddler, when he was learning to skate and then darting off as fast as he could, ignoring the sounds of his mother’s voice calling out to him, telling him to slow down and be careful.

the extra weight is a sign of freedom, of peace, of fun. shane does what he wants now, and fuck you if you try to stop him.

and yeah, obviously ilya is obsessed. he’s grabbing shane’s love handles and biting the extra meat on his thighs and slapping shane’s juicy fucking ass every chance he gets. YAY!!

They are also, crucially, having the filthiest and nastiest sex that two guys in their twenties with an extremely willing monogamous partner can think up. Things are WILD. They are Yes And'ing each other in ways that they are legit going to have to process by sitting quietly alone in a room for an entire day at some point in the future.

They're going at it raw, of course. Ilya is spitting in his mouth and making Shane thank him for the privilege, then calling him a slut when he does. Shane is letting Ilya chase him through the woods. He's wrapping Ilya's fingers around his neck and begging while Ilya tightens his grip. Ilya decides at one point that if Shane can't come on his cock alone then he doesn't get to come. Shane doesn't receive oral a single time at the Cottage without having to swallow his own cum. Ilya walks around with a piece of gauze on his forearm because Shane bit him and drew blood. Ilya fucks Shane with his nose way up inside Shane's armpit the entire time, huffing and licking. Ilya comes on Shane's face in the shower and Shane is so far down and loves the feeling of being marked so much that he asks Ilya to piss on him. Shane is never more than two minutes away from having Ilya's tongue or dick in one of his holes, no warning given aside from a command to spread his legs or get on his knees.

The producers obviously invited Ilya and Shane, but Shane thought the experience sounded too over stimulating and too many days to be out of routine. Yuna would never subject herself to doing something where she couldn't control the narrative or the edit. David is really okay with going with the flow and Ilya seemed excited which is enough reason for him. They can even be called Team Hollanov still.

me: SO MUCH 😍

the algorithms™️ : so you like hockey?

me: No! Oh, no. Nononononono. No. Just, uh...

the algorithms™️ : just...what?

me: just... just...

the algorithms™️ : Oh. I see.

the advertisers: what?

the algorithms™️ : Just Heated Rivalry.

me: