I feel like people struggle to understand that my life as an aorace person is not centered around an absence of relationships. There is no romance shaped void that I am trying to live with, or live around, or which my life's purpose is to fill somehow.
I go to university and I go to work and I volunteer in my community and in the in-between moments I drink tea with my friends and I plant tomatoes on my balcony and there is no need for anything else. There is no room for anything else anyway.
When I am asked how I deal with 'the hole in my life' or what I do with 'all my free time', I know these questions are not about me at all. They are a reflection of the person asking.
Ooh I love this analogy because not owning a car does come with problems (at least in the US typically), namely that US infrastructure is so reliant on cars that not owning one means that you deal with other problems, like lack of bike lanes, infrequent public transit, people always assuming you can drive places, etc. Aro/ace people do face problems due to amatonormativity in society, such as inaffordability of places to live alone (because it's assumed you'll live with a roommate until you're a "real adult" and live with a partner and also because of capitalism), lack of ways to meet new people that aren't specifically focused on dating, and people always asking when you'll settle down, aren't you lonely, don't you miss having a partner? as OP talked about.
Like, there are problems that one encounters as a carless person, and there are problems I've encountered as an aroace person. But the problem as a carless person isn't lack of parking spaces and the problem as an aroace person isn't lack of a relationship.
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its so awkward when people ask me why i dropped out and i have to be like "inadequate disability support" bc no one wants to hear this. they're always like i thought they had to provide that though isn't it the law? girl you might want to sit down i have some bad news about the litigation-based enforcement of the americans with disabilities act
then if i do say that theyre like, couldnt you sue? well theoretically maybe but not without spending more money than i have and putting myself through absolute hell. so no. no i can't.
and while weâre at it, fuck this idea that ONE ACCOUNT has to belong uniquely to ONE PERSON. This is the same thing these silicon valley fucks want; their vision of the future where everyone has a unique biometric ID code implanted in their body is the ultimate extension of Netflixâs âno password sharingâ policy. You want to use your friendâs car? Sorry, you canât, you need to be an authorized user. Your mother wants to let you look something up on her OED account? Too bad! Thatâs only for her! The concept of perfect market efficiency gives them greedy little money bag eyes.
If I pay money to have a newspaper sent to my house, they donât charge me extra when I show it to my dad. This password sharing thing isnât just a Netflix problem; donât be surprised if it shows up elsewhere in other forms. Stamp this idea out now or weâll be stuck with it.
This is by far the most popular post I have and I have to say: good, Iâm right. Password sharing and ID verification are going to kill the internet. not oooh in 50 years. in like 5 more.
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I hope I don't ever have to hear "racism is an American thing" and "there's less racism in Europe" ever again đ the fact that it wasn't enough that people just had regular experiences with racism to be believable, it took seeing literal white supremacist riots?? Okay. No more "they're European so their politics-" are the og source of racism, yes. đđž
When half the planet currently speaks English, Spanish, Portuguese, and/or French... Well i just think those languages came from somewhere but I can't quite put my finger on it...
âRich kids should go to public schools. The mayor should ride the subway to work. When wealthy people get sick, they should be sent to public hospitals. Business executives should have to stand in the same airport security lines as everyone else. The very fact that people want to buy their way out of all of these experiences points to the reason why they shouldnât be able to. Private schools and private limos and private doctors and private security are all pressure release valves that eliminate the friction that would cause powerful people to call for all of these bad things to get better. The degree to which we allow the rich to insulate themselves from the unpleasant reality that others are forced to experience is directly related to how long that reality is allowed to stay unpleasant. When they are left with no other option, rich people will force improvement in public systems. Their public spirit will be infinitely less urgent when they are contemplating these things from afar than when they are sitting in a hot ER waiting room for six hours themselves.â
I know that Heated Rivalry is one of those pieces of media where COVID never happens but what if it did? Imagine the lockdown shenanigans.
Shane and Ilya are obviously hunkering down at the cottage together. There's no hockey, but they don't know for how long, so they're still training all the time. They're doing interviews and having to make it look like they're in completely different places. Ilya has to keep being reminded that he's supposed to still be back in Ottawa.
Ilya's teammates keep asking if they can be in a lockdown bubble together and he's gotta be like "No, can't do that. I'm not taking any chances." But now they're worried because he hasn't seen or been around another human being in months and they've noticed that even before lockdown he made more jokes about killing himself than the average person, so they're stressed to their eyeballs about his mental health.
Meanwhile Ilya's living the kind of domestic fantasy with his man that he didn't think they were going to get until retirement. For the first time ever most days he can truly pretend that he and Shane are the only people in the world. Sometimes David and Yuna come over for dinner because they are also isolating at their cottage. But most of the time it's just endless hours of just the two of them and neither of them could be happier. Their biggest decision every day is when and where to fuck. Some people are getting into sourdough â Shane and Ilya have committed to learning one new sexual position every day.
I just think that lockdown would have been the ideal codependent situation for Hollanov.
Omg @scunthotter you can't hide this in the tags đ
#okay but them coming out to Ilya's team because like his team is concerned and maybe Shane and Ilya go back to Ilyaâs ottawa house to get a#grocery delivery that they can't get out at the cottage and the doorbell rings and Shane goes to get it and its bood and hayes standing 6#feet from the door with like a care package for ilya and they're like âilya said he was isolating aloneâ and shane is there in boxers and a#raiders 81 sweater like â....um....â
Ilya appears behind him, also in boxers and Shane's Canada fleece, and he looks over to where Bood and Hayes' jaws are practically on the floor, and flashes them an apologetic smile. But internally he's also like fuck, fuck, fuck, Shane doesn't want to come out or be out yet fuck they've fucked it. So he starts like, "So however weird your lockdown stories are, it can't be as weird as ours."
And Shane puts a hand on his arm to stop him, and is like "You can tell them the truth about us, baby, it's okay."
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Thank you to everyone who participated in the inaugural PWHLblr awards during this time of suffering, uncertainty, and sorrow (expansion). We had 500 votes which was amazing! Please enjoy the intentional graphic-design-is-my-passion graphics and the corny text I wrote for each award. They might be shit but at least it's not AI!!!!!!!
Accessibility note: This post is image-heavy but all descriptions of the graphic text are written underneath, alt text contains description of the photographs themselves.
Most Deserving City That Didnât Get An Expansion Team - Winner: Denver, Colorado - 25.6%
Denver, Colorado wins first place as the most deserving city that didn't get an expansion team this year. Sending our condolences to all of the PWHL fans in Colorado.
Runner ups: 2. Halifax, Nova Scotia - 19.5%, 3. Edmonton, Alberta - 15.3%
The Dearly Departed Award - Winner: The Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play Power Through Tough Messes (existing to not existing) - 73.9%
The Royale Tiger Towel Paper Towel Power Play will never be forgotten.
Runner ups: 2. Abby Roque (NY to MTL) - 6.6%, 3. Sarah Nurse (TOR to VAN) - 5.4%
The Jared Award For Excellence In Refereeing - Winner: Jared - 61.3%
Congratulations to Jared for winning the award for worst referee in the league. The fact that we even know his name is a testament to how bad he is at his job.
Runner up: Central Situation Room - 34.2%
The "WTF" Coaching and Management Award - Winner: Steve OâRourke and the Seattle Torrent - 45.9%
Despite having an absolutely stacked roster of some of the best players in the league, the Seattle Torrent spent the 2025-26 season being run into the ground by horrible coaching. We can only hope it will go up from here.
Runner up: Troy Ryan and the Toronto Sceptres - 42%
Goalie Who Most Deserves A Gun - Winner: Gwyneth Philips - 68.8%
You could say that Gwyneth Philips carried the Ottawa Charge to both of their Walter Cup Finals. From 41-shot shutouts to spinning around the ice like a beyblade, Philips definitely had to deal with a lot of bullshit this season.
God's Most Suffering Player - Winner: still Gwyneth Philips - 45.1%
As one tumblr user put it, the Ottawa Charge had quite a few games where it was "no offense, no defense, just Gwyneth Philips and a dream." From losing her glove in a puck battle to the heartbreaking back-to-back Walter Cup losses, Gwyn has absolutely been through it.
Ad Break of the Year - Winner: Gay Time Check - 41.7%
We're just getting started. đ
Runner up: DVD Corner Bounce - 38.2%
The "Which Could Mean Nothing" Partnership Award - Winner: Kenzie Lalonde and Cheryl Pounder - 45.9%
I mean, like. It could mean nothing. đ
Runner ups: 2. Laura Stacey, Marie-Philip Poulin, and Abby Roque - 33.5%, 3. The Entire Seattle Torrent - 12.5%
The Kristýna Kaltounkovå Most Overly-Penalized Player Award - Winner: Kristýna Kaltounkovå - 36.6%
Congratulations to Kristýna Kaltounkovå for winning the award named for her! With a record rookie total of 45 penalty minutes this season, Kalty is well on her way to being the bane of refs and rule books everywhere.
The "Stop That, You Can Text Her After The Game" Award for Most Egregious Checking - Winner: Jill Saulnier pushing down Ann-RenÊe Desbiens - 35.5%
Saulnier. Come on. There are easier ways to get someone's attention.
Runner ups: 2. Jocelyne Larocque and Renata Fast WWE Super Slam - 31%, 3. Micah Zandee-Hart and Laura Stacey Skate Lace Entanglement - 22.4%
The Prudential Center Clown Fan Clown Hockey Moment of the Year - Winner: Abby Roque scoring with her face - 30.6%
This award was named in honor of @newyorksirens for dressing up as a clown at the Prudential Center and created due to the perpetual aura that the Ottawa Charge carry with them everywhere. Congratulations to honorary Charge member Abby Roque for scoring a Walter Cup Finals goal with her face.
Runner ups: 2. TD Place Arena Ice Hole - 21.5%, 3. Danielle Serdachny sliding into an empty net, scoring a goal - 18.1%
Lesbians' Choice Award - Winner: Carly âCJâ Jackson - 23.2%
The Seattle Torrent's resident mullet-haver Carly "CJ" Jackson is the winner of the Lesbians' Choice Award. Whether it's advocating for trans people's inclusion in sports, eating hot dogs, cutting all their sleeves off of their shirts, or making sick saves, CJ has certainly managed to catch the hearts of lesbian and other queer PWHL fans.
Fight of the Year - Winner: Abby Roque vs. Britta Curl Playoff Scrum - 36.3%
Sam Cogan of the Frost accidentally set off this fight during the first playoff game between Minnesota and Montreal. Curl and Roque got matching penalties, but Roque got to take home a "souvenir" in the form of her now-iconic black eye.
Runner ups: 2. Montreal Victoire vs. New York Sirens line brawl (feat. Kayle Osborne) - 28.3%, 3. Boston Fleet vs. Toronto Sceptres line brawl (feat. Frankel & Tapani hug) - 20.7%
Quote of the Year - Winner: "Today is today!" - Lina Ljungblom - 36.1%
Thank you, Lina, for the phrase that all of us will probably still be hearing as a PWHL meme in 2035.
Runner ups: 2. "I think I peed a little." - Marie-Philip Poulin - 23.1%, 3. "How can you not be romantic about hockey?" - Eric Gallanty - 21.9%
Blorbo of the Year - Winner: Abby Roque - 16.5%
Votes for this category were split in over 25 different ways, but Abby Roque emerged victorious. From her black eye to the wife line jokes to her charming demeanor, it's easy to see why Roque wins Blorbo of the Year.
When you feel discomfort at a marginalized group but feel that expressing so would be wrong, it is very common to come up with "progressive" justifications for non-involvement.
Oh, no, my non-involvement with Black art is because I'm not Black. Black people have gone long enough dealing with appropriation and people like me (non-Black) have taken up enough Black spaces enough. So really, I'm actually doing a good thing by non listening to Black music, watching Black movies, reading books by Black authors.
No, you see, trans people are so chronically fetishized and belittled that it's normal for me to feel suspicious and wary to see trans people in sexual contexts, intimate contexts, nudes, artwork, etc. It would be best in fact if I did not engage in erotic or romantic works involving trans people at all.
The insidious part of these kinds of justifications is that they are often based on actual issues that minoritized people will openly discuss, but have a convenient "side effect" (really, it's the Whole Point) of allowing you to silo yourself away from groups you are not involved with or comfortable around while patting yourself on the back saying you're actually doing a good thing by segregating your tastes, hobbies, and preferences to an exclusive diet of mainstream hegemonic art
I think that we should start an urban legend for nipless top surgery folks. Something like "If you purple nurple someone hard enough they actually turn purple and fall off". So that someday a kid will see me at the beach or something and I can be like "It Could Happen To You"
thing is, for a lot of these paintings it wasnât âafterâ lily elbeâs transition. there was no after to it. the one op posted was painted in 1928. this was 2 years before lily legally changed her name and began undergoing revolutionary gender affirming procedures. unfortunately she died due to complications of an experimental uterine transplant in 1931.
up until that point, during the day lily continued to dress in masculine clothing and even attended galleries showing gottliebâs paintings of her. which was kind of iconic. she got to stand in a room full of people who were marveling her beauty, not knowing she was right next to them. it must have been such a cute little secret for them as a couple.
hereâs gerda and lilly together
not to mention that for most people there is no real âafterâ to a transition. especially for these trans historical figures who had to balance identity and safety at all times.
i think having a wife paint these portraits must have felt really amazing for lily. to be able to see herself through the eyes of someone who loved her. iâm very much seconding op on the getting teary eyed.
here are some of my favorite gottleib lily paintings
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still caring about internet friends you lost touch with years ago is so embarrassing. yeah i had a deam we met up irl recently. the last time we spoke was maybe 7-8 years ago. i still wear the laces we randomly decided was a sign of our friendship. i dont know what any of your socials are or if youre even active on any. sometimes i see someones art resemble yours and i wonder for hours. do you still go by that name you chose? whenever i see it i wonder if its you. we couldve passed each other in this vastness a thousand times and not have a clue.
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