too tired to sleep

ironically? the first time they removed a mature tag (on an ask i received) was after i mentioned it in a different post i made that got 11k notes meaning someone from staff definitely saw it and presumably removed it the tag.

this leads me to believe that they 10000% know this is a bigger problem than they let on because the only two times they have removed mature tags on my posts about black women and girls, was when i, or someone else, mentioned it with receipts on a post that got thousands of notes.

Hi anon!

Of course. What I mean is that feelings and actions are two different things.

For example, imagine your friend cancels plans because they got sick. You might feel disappointed, hurt, lonely, or even abandoned. Those feelings are real and valid. You don't need to apologize for having them.

However, if you lash out at your friend, guilt trip them, or send a series of angry messages, those behaviours may deserve an apology even though your feelings were genuine.

I'd also like to look at a different example because sometimes the other person actually did do something wrong.

Imagine your partner lies to you. Feeling hurt, angry, betrayed, or devastated makes sense. In this situation, there is a real problem that needs to be addressed.

But if you respond by screaming, calling them names, threatening them, or trying to hurt them back, those actions may still deserve an apology.

The important thing to remember is that apologizing for your reaction is not the same thing as apologizing for your feelings. Your feelings were still real, and especially in this case, they still deserve being addressed.

Sometimes both things can be true at once. Your partner may need to take accountability for lying. You may need to take accountability for how you reacted. One person's accountability does not erase the other's.

I think a lot of people accidentally turn accountability into an all-or-nothing situation where whoever behaved worse in the moment becomes "the problem." (And honestly, it's a matter of perspective. Both people may think the other behaved worse but the reality is both behaviours should be addressed.) Relationships are much more complicated than that.

You can have a valid reason for being hurt and still owe someone an apology for how you handled that hurt. You can also apologize for your behaviour without dismissing your feelings.

And like there was no permanent cast, all these celebrities seem to have gotten a scene or part of a scene to do (i’m not sure exactly, I did not ever watch Quibi and thus haven’t seen this yet), and then they just… recreated it as best they could. At home. Under quarantine.

So like, you had Jennifer Garner in a blanket cape playing Princess Buttercup AND the Booing Old Woman with a crowd comprised entirely of stuffed animals:

Or Taika Waititi paying Westley off a badly-drawn Inigo on a piece of cardboard held in front of someone’s face:

And it’s all just delightful.

But my absolute favorite part of this thing that I’ve sadly never seen but assume is probably absolutely hilarious and a treasure and I want to find it some day and watch the whole thing… is that Carey Elwes is in it.

As Prince Fucking Humperdink.

Here ya go

Shane squirming is evidence of his struggle to give up his power, and if ultimately Shane felt worse after the fact, if he didn't want to continue but Ilya made him anyway, then the cycle would continue, and Ilya would be replicating his own suffering onto someone else. It would be extortion, abuse, all the things that people think sadomasochism is who don't understand what's at it's core.

But Ilya doesn't want Shane to feel worse afterwards. Ilya wants Shane to give up power and to like it. Not in a hollow way, not because Shane thinks he "should" like it or because he thinks Ilya likes it so it's the only way to keep him interested. But to truly, deeply, enjoy it for himself.

This is why the Vegas sex scene is such a lightning rod, because to describe Shane as only feeling "better" or "worse" afterwords would be dismissing the nuance and depth of Shane's arc with his own desires at that point. Shane wanted to follow Ilya's orders and play the game with all its sharp edges, and then afterwards he wanted to feel soft. To be kissed. For Shane, giving up power is a risk, a vulnerability, an act of trust that could end badly, but that is rewarded tenfold every time it doesn't. And Shane comes back to Ilya after Vegas. It's not a clean line from one encounter to the next, but they don't make it to the cottage without Shane deeply enjoying the dance that Ilya curates for them.

And for Ilya, making Shane squirm is evidence that it's not an easy thing, that it's actually quite profound for Shane to give him that power, that it's always a risk. And Ilya loves the thrill of it. Seeing Shane's soft underbelly as he slides up further on the back of the couch, while Ilya holds his trust in his hands as he slides them further up the hem of his (obscenely short) shorts. Gives Shane challenges he has to struggle not to lose, because but-if-you-get-hard is how Ilya injects adrenaline into Shane's bloodstream. Interrupts and embarrasses him while he talks on the phone, because the edge of embarrassment is the tick-tick-tick of a heart beating faster and pushing warm blood to flushed skin. And then finally, the giggling, smiling, "Why was that so hot?" afterwards is Ilya's wild reward, his evidence that taking power is worth it if it's actually a gift.

My main account got @-ed on this scam (no I won't say which one), and it occurred to me that some of the people here might not realize this is a scam.