i have dozens of themed playlists. i have personal essays. i have multiple fandom sideblogs. i have a dreamwidth, a discord, a protonmail, a storygraph, a personal ephemera website, a lesbian digital-repository website, and a newsletter archive about the natural world. i have an ao3 with over 250,000 words of fiction. further information about all these can be obtained by means of the inquirous dm directed to your humble correspondent
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SO frustrated about tyrant. the harmonies/first two verses are SO good and then the beat comes in............ with that corny shit i'm a tyrant every time i ride it... i don't know i want it all to be
One-one-one by one, you hang them high
Your hands are steady and you sleep at night
How did you turn your heart to stone?
I don't want him back, but I can't let go
Hangman, answer me now
You owe me a debt, you stole him from me
I hated you once, I envy you now
Just tell me how, tell me how
SO frustrated about tyrant. the harmonies/first two verses are SO good and then the beat comes in............ with that corny shit i'm a tyrant every time i ride it... i don't know i want it all to be
One-one-one by one, you hang them high
Your hands are steady and you sleep at night
How did you turn your heart to stone?
I don't want him back, but I can't let go
Hangman, answer me now
You owe me a debt, you stole him from me
I hated you once, I envy you now
Just tell me how, tell me how
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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beyoncĂŠ is really an album artist who for some reason still feels the need to make singles well the reason is that she's also a savvy marketer and money maker but like whenever she tries to make the single happen it's always SO impoverished heard on the radio compared to in the context of the album...... like her cover of jolene pissed me off when i heard it in the cvs but now i'm like...... yaasssss....
i'll be your shotgun rider til the day i, til the day i die....... list of fave tracks tk
major warning btw all signs point to a beyoncĂŠ outbreak (listened to cowboy carter 6 times straight through in the last 2 days) so seek shelter and so on
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i need more visual imagery _+ photography in my bloglife but i haven't been on the dash in like 6 days to rustle up some reblogs so unfortunately you all will have to embrace the text based flow i'm riding atm. i finished the gift and now have one (1) nabokov left along with 121438293 other books to read and 38423 stories to finish the weight of which are pressing down on me like cum-stained cinderblocks... all while i sit 'n' spin on tumblr
now for a jury-rigged exercise from my recent read of the artist's way. no i have not been doing morning pages as i don't especially want to get up at 5:30am without a really good reason. some negative myths i apparently believe about singers including some apparent awful secret (internalized? or regular style) misogyny:
we are self-obsessed, airheaded, and annoying
no one is as in love with the sound of our voices as we are
we are annoyingly woo woo, precious, and behaviorally feminine/feminized compared to instrumentalists
we are not as legitimate of musicians as instrumentalists
corollary: female singers especially so
more corollary: if there's a female singer in a band with all male instrumentalists, she is not as talented/hardworking or did not have to be as talented/hardworking to get the spot in the band
we can't sight read, improvise, stay on pitch, know what pitch/key we're in as well as instrumentalists
hearing a singer out and about (e.g., someone busking) is not as exciting for people as hearing another kind of musician
being a singer doesn't bring as much to a multi-part ensemble as being another kind of musician
we should be glad to take whatever place we can get singing since there are a lot of singers and they're not worth as much as other kinds of musicians
countersigns:
we are charming, lovely, intelligent, courteous, and make music with our voices
many people love to hear singers and it's many people's favorite kind of music
there are many kinds of singers with many kinds of personalities and what's so wrong about behaving femininely anyway. plus when your body is your instrument you have to take care of it and be a little more precious about things than other people
we are talented, brilliant interpreters of the material
corollary: what the hell
corollary: seriously, what the fuck
maybe I can't do those things as well as I want to but many singers can and are better than instrumentalists. and learning by ear is also a legitimate way of learning
I am very excited to hear singers out and about and probably other people are too
without the singer the ensemble that wants a singer will not have a singer and will therefore be deprived
this is my voice. there are many voices like it but this one is mine
could you even have guessed that i had so much poison bottled up inside of me?
in the back of my mind while i wolfblog is this paper that @tinyyellowflowers-blog linked to a while back, "An alternative hypothesis for the evolution of same-sex sexual behaviour in animals," Monk et al, 2019. Abstract:
Same-sex sexual behaviour (SSB) has been recorded in over 1,500 animal species with a widespread distribution across most major clades. Evolutionary biologists have long sought to uncover the adaptive origins of âhomosexual behaviourâ in an attempt to resolve this apparent Darwinian paradox: how has SSB repeatedly evolved and persisted despite its presumed fitness costs? This question implicitly assumes that âheterosexualâ or exclusive different-sex sexual behaviour (DSB) is the baseline condition for animals, from which SSB has evolved. We question the idea that SSB necessarily presents an evolutionary conundrum, and suggest that the literature includes unchecked assumptions regarding the costs, benefits and origins of SSB. Instead, we offer an alternative null hypothesis for the evolutionary origin of SSB that, through a subtle shift in perspective, moves away from the expectation that the origin and maintenance of SSB is a problem in need of a solution. We argue that the frequently implicit assumption of DSB as ancestral has not been rigorously examined, and instead hypothesize an ancestral condition of indiscriminate sexual behaviours directed towards all sexes. By shifting the lens through which we study animal sexual behaviour, we can more fruitfully examine the evolutionary history of diverse sexual strategies.
sorry for being so psychiatrized but me and my DBT workbook are doing kissy faces at all times now truly brought me back from the brink today love and kisses blgoger's digest to come xoxoxo
not the real brink as i recognize in retrospect just a microbrink of bursting into sudden and completely unexpected tears in the bathroom at work when reading this screenshot + mary karr excerpt (discusses suicide) but i used #MyCopingSkills to put this reaction into perspective #Winning
sorry for being so psychiatrized but me and my DBT workbook are doing kissy faces at all times now truly brought me back from the brink today love and kisses blgoger's digest to come xoxoxo
unfortunately for the cause of feminism it turns out that grocery shopping for oodles of gorgeous produce and cooking it into delicious meals is for me in fact an avenue of creative expression. which makes one's 9 to 5 even more of an OPPRESSIVE INSTITUTION given that i've been so flattened by work i haven't had the energĂa to cook........ anyway tonight's dinner is sloppy lentils on the last of the hawaiian brioche buns with roasted japanese sweet potatoes, plus the most beautiful cherries and the crispest grapes you ever saw
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The force that through the green fuse drives the flower
Drives my green age; that blasts the roots of trees
Is my destroyer.
And I am dumb to tell the crooked rose
My youth is bent by the same wintry fever.
The force that drives the water through the rocks
Drives my red blood; that dries the mouthing streams
Turns mine to wax.
And I am dumb to mouth unto my veins
How at the mountain spring the same mouth sucks.
The hand that whirls the water in the pool
Stirs the quicksand; that ropes the blowing wind
Hauls my shroud sail.
And I am dumb to tell the hanging man
How of my clay is made the hangman's lime.
The lips of time leech to the fountain head;
Love drips and gathers, but the fallen blood
Shall calm her sores.
And I am dumb to tell a weather's wind
How time has ticked a heaven round the stars.
And I am dumb to tell the lover's tomb
How at my sheet goes the same crooked worm.
LET'S GET THIS BREAD! MOST PRODUCTIVE, CREATIVE, FRUITFUL, DOING WORK PROJECTS, ORGANIZING LABOR, PRACTICAL, CHORE DOING, READING THE MOST BOOKS AND DOING THE MOST MUSIC, LEAST TUMBLR HOURS WEEK EVER!!!!!!!!