nur

"we're all gonna die"... rin, kitay and venka to nezha, leaving him all alone, puppet emperor for the Hesperians.

"I'm sorry I left, thought it was for the best, though it never felt right.." Altan and Qara to Chaghan.

"sitting at the bed with a halo in your head. Was it all a disguise?" The persona Altan had put up in front of Rin and the Cike.

ʳᵒᵇⁱⁿ ˢʷⁱᶠᵗ ˣ ʳᵃᵐʸ ᵐⁱʳᶻᵃ

https://archiveofourown.org/works/82475516

𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙍𝙖𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙍𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙣, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣.𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙍𝙖𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙖𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙤𝙛 𝙍𝙤𝙗𝙞𝙣, 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣.

𝙖/𝙣; 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙡𝙧 𝙛𝙞𝙘. 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙞 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚'𝙨 𝙖 𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚, 𝙨𝙤 𝙞 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝙤𝙣𝙚. 𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙮 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜!

𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒕 𝒔𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏 𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒃𝒆𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝑰 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅, 𝒎𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅. 𝒙𝒙 𝑹𝒂𝒎𝒊𝒛 𝑴𝒊𝒓𝒛𝒂

Seven minutes

Ramiz Rafi Mirza loved his Robin, his Birdie, for it was that he was sure of; Robin wasn’t just his friend, nor a lover. He was Ramy’s rooh, his zut, his priyojon.* If the world were to fall apart, he’d spend his seven minutes remembering his family— his mumma, his baba, his bhaiya, and three bhenies*, his Robin.

When Letty shot Ramy, his eyes blurred, his vision nearly gone. It had been crazy to think that this could all be reversed with the bar of silver lying in his back pocket.

Nazar— Vision.

A simple addition to the Urdu gramatica, it had been one of the first ever made. A simple trick to keep away from the faults of this cruel world.

Nazar, meaning vision, yet equally translating to the way one may pray of evil upon a person, coming from nazario, in Spanish. Evenly referring to the French word, vision, meaning a presence, or better yet, a sight made.

The word pair kept away bad luck, and at times, restored terrible sights such as the bullet in his body.

His eyes had given up; he could see his most cherished memories, his baba teaching him how to make Phulgopi diye Koi*.

The day had been sunny, yet humid due to the bay. His baba had been fishing, taking his brother and himself along on the family’s green painted rowboat, “Mirza’s” written on the boat’s sides in both Bangla and English. Ramy had written both.

They caught a ten-inch-long Koi Mach*. His brother was the one who cooked the fish, and Ramy prepared the cauliflower and spices. Paying heed to his father’s words.

He’d remember the first time he narrated his own poem to Birdie, it was one he’d written himself;

আমার জীবন তোমার, তোমার দুঃখ আমার। আমার আত্মা তোমার, কিন্তু তোমার গভীরতম ভয় অবশ্যই সেই জিনিসগুলো যা আমাকে এবং শুধুমাত্র আমাকে ঘুমের মধ্যে ব্যথিত করে। আমরা যখন দেখা করেছি, সেই দিনে আমি ফানা-এর আনন্দ অনুভব করেছি, তবুও তুমি এখনও আমার প্রতি সন্দেহ রাখো। জীবন তোমার, মৃত্যু আমার। আমি কখনও তোমার হব না, তবু আমি... ...

My life is yours, your sorrow is mine. My soul belongs to you, but your deepest frights must be the very things that trouble I and only I in sleep. I committed the delight of fanaa* the day we met, yet you still doubt me. Life is yours, death is mine. You shall never be mine, yet the world shall be yours.

Birdie didn’t understand a word, thank god, but Ramy— poor Ramy knew everything. Ramy knew the tint of golden brown in his otherwise jet black hair that drifted him apart from his mum. Ramy saw the glint in his eyes. A chestnut brown that could only be shown in the forests of his home.

Ramy always wondered, did Robin ever look at him that way, in a way that melts the body off his soul, showing each other their truths, truths, and feelings, and now moments pressed in an emotional amber that Ramy hadn't have ever had the courage to show to anybody else, for the longest time ever.

The moon loved the sun, birds came to trees, and Robin Swift had entrapped Ramiz Mirza… All facts of nature itself.

One fateful night that Ramy would be sure of even after he met the Day of Resurrection*, was the night after Robin killed his father. Robin and Ramy sat outside, on the dock of the ship, telling the ship’s captain that the two of them would look after the journey, as the prospect of sleep was the very terror haunting the two young men.

They’d spent that night reveling in the deepest, darkest, most intimate parts of themselves. Ramy would constantly admit the desire to taste Robin’s lips on his own, their bodies fitting into each other's perfectly— a fit combating the very divination that was from the works of the Indian poet Lal Ded*.

Robin poured out the secrets that haunted his heart.

Ramy’s head still echoed with the memory of his Birdie.

Ramiz knew he was lying on the floor of the Hermes society, yet he also knew that the thoughts that would accompany him to death and beyond were all of the ones surrounding his hazel-haired unofficial lover.

GLOSSARY

*Rooh, zut, and priyojon mean soul/soulmate in the languages Urdu/Arabic, Kashmiri, and Bangla. Respectively.

*Bhaiya and Bhenies refer to elder brother and younger sisters.

*Phulgopi diye Koi; Phulgopi diye Koi is a traditional Bengali fish curry prepared with koi maachh (climbing perch) and cauliflower (phulgopi).

*Fanaa is an Arabic word referring to the kind of love that destroys.

* Day of Resurrection is a central doctrine in Islam, referring to the final day when all human beings will be raised from the dead and held accountable for their deeds.

*Lal Ded was a saint-poet, famous for her works of devotion.