#chaltan

Was he talking about Altan? Rin fought the urge to vomit.

"He has his mind for now but he is hurting." Bekter's voice took on a high, mocking pitch. "But I can fix him. Give him time. Don't make me kill him. Please."

chaghan really said some "i can fix him" about altan 😭 word for fucking word. rin isn't being unfair he really is obsessed lmao

tw: art is not mine. dm/ comment for credits.

altan trengsin x chaghan suren (chaltan)

word count: 1359 words

synopsis: Altan and Chaghan were never made to be happy, the universe itself had shown how it was against them.

It was either Chaghan, or Altan. Never Chaghan and Altan.

Altan knew that, he didn't care.

Chaghan didn't know. Altan didn't tell him.

This isn't a love story.

Greed takes. It takes more and more and more. It takes until it can't anymore.

Until breathing is . And until every beat of your heart is in check to the tune of the breaths you take. Makes you question, who are you? Very really, who are you? What are you? What can you be? Who do you want to be? When you're in the fire for the first time, and the fire just goes away, you pray.

You pray for it to return. To come back. For your skin to char and crackle.

Smelling the heat of the flesh. Because the feeling of air is refreshing. It's new and exciting.

But maybe you've been burnt so far along that you truly believe the fact that you deserve being burnt. The fresh breath of air is awaiting you. It's something that you want for someone else.

Not for you. Is it for you?

°°°

Chaghan knew the fire. He knew the feeling of his hair turning into ash.

But he knew the fire wouldn't stop burning. He loved Altan and Altan loved him. But Chaghan never wanted that kind of love.

He wanted the sweet one, where Altan would whisper sweet nothings in his ear, hoping for a chance of feeling the care that he'd always given.

"Stop it," Qara shrugged.

"Stop what?" Chaghan replies.

"Your never-ending game of, oh, he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me. Chaghan, I know you. I know who you are and how you feel," Qara sighs.

Chaghan tries to mumble a dismissive, "I'm fine."

Qara immediately interrupts him. "You're not. And I'm telling you this because I love you. You'll find men like Altan Trengsin. nowhere. He is the brightest star. He shines the brightest. He's beautiful. But he also burns the fastest. Do not subject yourself to suicide and and don't subject me to indirect torture/homicide."

Qara walks away, leaving Chaghan questioning everything.

°°°

Altan's at Speer again. He sees his people. They look at him, brown eyes staring into his angry red ones. They whisper in Speer, thinking Altan can't understand. He could.

"You aren't one of us. One of them." A young girl. Maybe three or five years old, snarled at Altan

"Isn't he Hanelai's nephew? He betrayed us. He got us killed," the oldest, a man in his late fifties, growled.

"Who? Who are you?" Altan stuttered.

"We're family. We're the family you killed," a woman in her late twenties answers, growling at him.

Altan had now realised that these people were his family. The little girl was Hanelai's baby? The old man was Jiang. And the lady next to them? She must be his mum…

°°°

Altan was asleep.

Chaghan’s hand traced Altan's scar. His strong jaw, shivering under Chaghan's touch.

Altan was like this solely with Chaghan. He was vulnerable, he was beautiful— beautiful in the way he slept so peacefully, completely nulling the exhaustion, clearly visible when he was awake. Chaghan loved that about Altan. Chaghan loved that Altan was at peace when he was asleep.

He'd told Qara once; “you can see his eyes, they aren't as focused… he's happy.” Qara raised her eyebrows, clearly doubting everything Chaghan had said, Qara knew the way Chaghan was drawn to Altan, she felt it . “I mean it, Qara, he isn't hopeless.” Qara chuckles.“It's Altan; he'll drive you mad.” Qara paused, “you can't fix him Chaghan. I told you, so did Tyr, you can't heal ashes.”

Chaghan loved Qara: he was devoted to Altan. There's a transparent difference, with him it's always Altan.

Altan was waking up, the flutter in his eyes, the flutter of his eyes, the grimace on his lips.

“Chaghan?” Altan's voice was rough, almost like it was burning him every time he spoke, his eyes were still closed. Chaghan brought his hand closer to Altan's hair, playing with his hair, shushing Altan back to sleep.

Chaghan had learnt that waking Altan up in the middle of a nightmare led to Altan waking up scared, like a wounded animal.

“Chaghan, I'm sorry” Altan paused. “I— don't go.”

“I'm here baby, I'm right here” Chaghan whispered into Altan's ear.

“No, I love you. I do,” Altan’s breath quickened, tears escaping his eyes. “Chaghan please, I do love you.”

Chaghan continued to shush Altan back to sleep.

The Phoenix was in his head. The Phoenix was vile, and Altan was in pain. Chaghan couldn't do anything to get Altan out of that pain.

°°°

Altan was at Speer again, the fragments of sleep threatening to interrupt his nightmares with the phoenix, clearly gone. Chaghan was at Speer with Altan. Altan hadn't seen Chaghan like this, not now, not ever, but his head told him that it was real… the look of concern, the way Chaghan could—and would step over Altan, and Altan would say sorry for getting Chaghan's foot dirty.

"You deserve this, Altan, you thought people care about you.” Chaghan's wry chuckle was dangerous. “Oh, you stupid poor boy, no one loves you, and no one will ever care about you. I was your last chance and you fucked it up for nothing.”

"Chaghan— babe, I love you; you're my soul, you're my life–”

Chaghan cut him off. “You really are stupid, gosh, at least you're somewhat pretty, but to be completely honest, that scar of yours ruins it.”

The Phoenix grumbled." Burn him, you can end it all” . The voice grew louder, and louder. Allan was scared "Go away!” Altan paused. "You're the one who should burn.”

"Be careful what you wish for." The voice got close in an intimate manner, sliding across his ear.

Altan began to burn. “You are me, I am you Altan, you can't run away everytime... 'till next time, pretty boy.”

°°°

Altan woke up early, covered in sweat, the sky a pale blue, filled with stars. Chaghan was asleep, on top of Altan’s chest. Altan held him closer.

“Burn him” the Phoenix whispered in Altan's ear. “You want to, I know it.” The Phoenix got louder, voice clear in Altan's throbbing heat.

“You are me, I am you Altan, you can't run away everytime... 'till next time, pretty boy.” The words repeated in Altan's head, the only thing he could think of.

“No I don't,” Altan mutters to himself. “You're crazy.”

Altan tried to block out the Phoenix.

Altan and Chaghan.

Their relationship wasn't like this. It was violent, casual, at most. But this wasn't casual. This was Altan accepting the fact that if anything were to ever happen to Chaghan, he'd end it all. This was Altan realizing that he wasn't alone. That Chaghan did understand him.

“You drive me mad,” Altan sighs, hiding a smile, “you probably know that; you know everything, Chaghan.”

Chaghan didn't worry in his sleep; nearly undisturbed.

Chaghan's breath quickened— he'd started getting up, eyes adjusting to the candle that Altan lit up a few hours back.

“You're warm.” Chaghan slurred, still half asleep, cuddling closer.

Altan smirked, his arm moving below Chaghan, placing the silver–haired man on a pillow. He'd mutter something in Speer, the guttural, harsh language sounding rather refreshing.

A head stuck into the tent, “Altan, I made you a rocket that splits into three separate heads and bursts with the power of five of my normal bombs! You need to see!” Ramsa— the thirteen year old munitions expert had rushed in to tell Altan.

Chaghan was staring bullets at both Ramsa and Altan.

“Ramsa. It's five am.” Altan sighs, Ramsa giving him a keen glance.

“Okay,” Altan shrugs. “I'll be there sometime.”

Ramsa skipped out of the tent, leaving Chaghan and Altan alone.

Chaghan groans, slowly getting up. “Tigers tits. It's eight am” Chaghan paused. “Altan you should go, you slept in today.”

Altan got up, leaving right after he muttered. “Sleep for some more time Chaghan.”

°°°

Altan and Chaghan were never made to be happy, the universe itself had shown how it was against them.

It was either Chaghan, or Altan. Never Chaghan and Altan.

Altan knew that, he didn't care.

Chaghan didn't know. Altan didn't tell him.

This isn't a love story.

a/n: author was extremely sleep deprived and did have an econ test the next day. So... Yea.

some thoughts on altan and chaghan's wounded heart

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: The Poppy War Series - R. F. Kuang Rating: General Audiences Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Fang Runin & Altan Trengsin, Chaghan Suren/Altan Trengsin, Fang Runin/Yin Nezha Characters: Altan Trengsin, Fang Runin, Hanelai (The Poppy War), Jiang Ziya (The Poppy War), Yin Nezha, Chaghan Suren Additional Tags: POV Altan Tengsin, Astral Projection, Drug Abuse, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Compliant, Fang Runin and Altan Trengsin are Cousins, Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Sexy and unbetad, no beta we die like altan trengsin, I wrote this instead of studying for my civics exam, These two are so fucking complex I need to put them in a jar and shake it Summary:

Altan had indulged in the fantasies of revenge almost as much as he did in opium. He dreamt about what the screams would sound like. How good the terror would taste.