✨hi i’m sof (she/they) and i’m always screaming about something✨
currently: plotting a heist to steal connor storrie’s and hudson williams’ genders
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@sun-undone
✨hi i’m sof (she/they) and i’m always screaming about something✨
currently: plotting a heist to steal connor storrie’s and hudson williams’ genders

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Who is going to be brave enough to let Connor play Cal in East of Eden
@shanehollanderr imagine him delivering this!!
ilya wanted to tell shane that the closest he felt to home was when he was with him.
just came to the realization that being constantly horny for hudson and connor has also been a constant affirmation of my queerness and maybe that’s why i’ve felt so embodied in my sexuality recently? happy pride month?
this is sending me 😭

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i really really love that ilya who grew up in a very homophobic country with a homophobic family in a very masculine homophobic sport, has no shame around his sexuality. he has long since accepted that he's bi and has no shame around it, he has no shame around having gay sex or finding men hot, the struggles around his sexuality always stem from outside factors, but never from shame. i love ilya saying okay so you're gay, so what? because the act of being gay, being attracted to men, having sex with other men is such a non-issue for him when he could easily have internalized that shit and he also doesn't want it to be shameful for shane. instead he's like i love men, i love having sex with my husband who is super gay and i'm not feeling even an ounce of shame about it
maybe this is just #myilya but i always read his shamelessness as a form of protest and as a way to desperately grasp onto what little control he has in his life.
he loses his mom, his closest confidante and only light in his dreary household, at 12. he starts playing hockey after that and then at some point, hooks up with sasha (maybe age 15/16? i still haven’t finished the books so if there’s canon info about all this let me know). he knows it’s dangerous bc of the broader social context of russia (and potentially alexei using slurs in the house as kids? did he always think ilya was gay? maybe bc he was a mama’s boy?), but the danger is EXCITING, maybe just like how the danger and violence of hockey makes him feel alive again through the thick fog of his grief. maybe the hookups with sasha (or even just the POTENTIAL for them) are another coping mechanism for ilya, and so it simply doesn’t even occur to him to be ashamed of it. he can’t afford to demonize one of the only things that’s reminding him that he’s alive and breathing and his own independent person who could very well escape russia and his black hole of a family one day as long as he just keeps going without stopping to let himself ruminate on anything ever. his lack of shame starts off as the necessary survival tactic of a lonely child grieving, and as he got older and put a bit more distance between himself and his abusers, it eventually crystallized into a more stable part of his identity.
this is just my reading, but i’d love to hear other people’s theories!!!!
#they never stood a chance
i really really love that ilya who grew up in a very homophobic country with a homophobic family in a very masculine homophobic sport, has no shame around his sexuality. he has long since accepted that he's bi and has no shame around it, he has no shame around having gay sex or finding men hot, the struggles around his sexuality always stem from outside factors, but never from shame. i love ilya saying okay so you're gay, so what? because the act of being gay, being attracted to men, having sex with other men is such a non-issue for him when he could easily have internalized that shit and he also doesn't want it to be shameful for shane. instead he's like i love men, i love having sex with my husband who is super gay and i'm not feeling even an ounce of shame about it
streets are saying very rpf-y things................i try not to Trust the streets............but i'm feeling so rpf-y rn............
OH WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DID I MISS
hello can we recenter fuckstruck spooning sex, gentle pattering rain on the cottage windows diffusing the light, wistful piano score? that and the match cut between hockey checking and getting railed face down into the leather couch. like they really put such a beautiful range of queer sex on our screens and it changed the world. happy pride month let’s all live

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i think shane and ilya should be grosser
everyone should say all the ways in which they feel shane and ilya should be grosser
CONNOR STORRIE as Ilya Rozanov Heated Rivalry 1.01 "Rookies"
Shane laughed, which made Ilya’s heart race. What if he’d never heard Shane’s laugh again?
they're going to grow old together, they're going to hang out and exist together and laugh together for the rest of their lives, and when they die they'll die having only not known each other for 17 years. how insignificant in the grand scheme of all the years they've had and known each other. inside and out. they will fight and fuck and laugh and and cry and go through all their pivotal moments together until life is done. 17 insignificant years waiting to meet and become entangled and Changed. the rest is theirs. together.
I KNOW this must have been done before but I couldn't get it out of my mind please indulge me
HOLY SHIT AND THE EMOTIONAL GUT PUNCH OF THE END CREDITS HAVING NO MUSIC???????? JUST THE FAINT NOISES OF NAKAMURA’S SISTER AND MOTHER HAVING DINNER WITHOUT HIM WHILE WE LOOK ON AT HIS EMPTY SHADOWED BEDROOM???????????
at first glance this anime seems completely absurd and over the top but idk if i’ve ever seen a more accurate depiction of being young and shy and queer. the constant overthinking, the deep seated feeling of otherness that makes you isolate yourself from your peers, the urge to run off and escape your house in the middle of the night so you can sob about Everything in peace, your family being so used to it and so in the dark about it that they’re barely phased at all

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oh my god that sequence in the new ep of nakamura walking alone in the crowd and tuning in to random conversation snippets of the heteronormative couples around him?????????
they really captured the otherness of growing up queer and the very specific grief of finding out that your crush is probably straight
happy wet shane wednesday!
inspired by this post by @ilyasmole , the whole thing is incredible, but specifically this part:
ilya's own fingers dig into the soft flesh of shane's waist and he tugs him impossibly closer, murmurs, "are you gonna come for me, hollander?" all low and sensual, and shane can barely speak, can only give a desperate nod as his eyes squeeze shut and his cock bobs in the mirror. "yeah? you gonna show me how you come from just this?" and he punctuates the words with the slow pounding of his hips, burying his nose in the side of shane's face and keeping his eyes fixated on where shane continues to leak.
thank you for your beautiful inspiring wonderful hornyposting <3
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