when she’s stressed she cooks, when she’s distracted she cooks, when she’s happy — basically, it wasn’t uncommon to find Diane surrounded by dishes she’s cooked. but more recently, Diane found herself to be more stressed than anything else. troubling memories bubbling up in the back of her mind. it was that time of year again where little things would set her off. whether it be seeing a little girl with blonde hair, or just seeing a book about space at the local store.
not even the love she had for her foster children could ease the pain of the hole that resided in her heart.
she no longer had Jorge either. it seemed luck was no longer something she had. almost as if everything she cared for, disappeared with a single touch.
and so she cooks. a distraction.
but she still had someone from her past, someone she tried her hardest to keep at arms length now, but couldn’t quite manage that. he’d been her whole heart once. and there was still a piece for him residing there.
Jim.
she knew that he didn’t eat often enough, especially when working on a case. he’d let the details devour him until there was nothing left. it had been something she loved and hated about the man. too head-strong and determined for his own good.
and so here she was, in his office. a glass dish filled to the brim with spaghetti, covered in tin foil.
she smiles warmly, as he says her name, a slight shift in posture as she sits across from him at his desk, “good morning to you too, Jim.” she replies softly.
“I thought you and Nic could use some food — I know it’s early, but you know me, I’m always cooking for an army. I had some errands to run anyway, so I figured I’d pop by…” her voice is soft, soothing. she’s trying her hardest to hide the way she was truly feeling.
but he’d always been far too good at detecting those types of things. however, she’s hoping with everything going on, he’d let it slip past his radar.
you know me. he does. he knows her like the back of his hand, even still. he sees the way she fidgets with the corner of the foil. she’s almost as good as him at hiding her true intentions. almost. she comes in the mornings around this time of year, before she goes to work. otherwise, she comes when she can.
but today was a saturday. no work for her, and no rest for him given their circumstances. he’s much better at hiding his feelings, but much like diane, he began to slip around this time of year. it didn’t help that he had three missing people on his hands, and he was nowhere near finding them. dark circles underneath sad tired looking eyes were giving him away. but those around him knew better than to ask him about it.
“ thanks, ” he mumbles before taking a sip of his coffee and munching on his donut. “ nic’ll love it. ”
despite their falling out two years ago, he did still love her. maybe not as much as before, but it was still there. she lost sara, too. he knows he isn’t alone in that, knows she grieves as well. but it just seemed like she was able to escape the black hole that he’d so desperately wanted to leave. still, now that jorge was missing, perhaps it all came crawling back to her. which reminds him ...
“ we, uh ... we haven’t found anything ... yet. or heard anything. but we’re still looking. mike’s setting up a search party right now. ” and god it’s way too early to be talking about this ... but he can’t leave her hanging.