Eli

YALL REALLY DO BRING THIS BACK EVERY SEPTEMBER

I just noticed that September is spelled wrong

it’s the 17th of august

happy 17th of august

i do actually really like it when people draw top surgery scars all spiky and bright and starlike. it is still highly aestheticized stylization obviously but it does feel like an improvement from the previous most-widespread modes of depiction i saw, being perfectly symetrical, barely-visible thin straight double incision lines just below the pecs

Squidward only ever makes artwork based off his visage, it's all very surface level and lacks any emotional depth

Squidward should start making artwork based on how Squidward feels and not how Squidward looks yknow? I feel like he's experimented plenty with self portraits, but none of them really say much about Squidward as a person yknow

got drunk last night and got really emotional over Squidward's potential and how much he holds himself back

Y'all don't know what rural love looks like. Y'all don't know. We got 6'2" burly fellas rolling in from the logging camps like "yeah I'm looking for a packer for my boyfriend". We got welders coming in after work and you gotta ask em to scrape off their boots at the door and their hands are black with gunk so we gotta help em sift through the strap ons. Three ladies come in wearing floral dresses with their hair in rings like they just got out of church and you ain't sure if they're together or just friends but when they leave they're all holding hands and one gives another a kiss. Old fella with a walker comes in for some lacy lingerie. 85 year old widow is going on a first date since her husband passed. People are people all over the place, it's not different when you can't see it

Why would you hide that in the notes

I want an ice maker and enough room in the freezer for a pizza and that is IT.

I want the dumbest fridge you got. Gimme the orange tabby of refrigeration. I want my fridge to pull the wrong lever and turn my enemies into llamas instead of killing them. I want the following features: keeps things cold, has compartment that keeps things colder, a door that opens and shuts.

"Here at Stupid Jeff's Dumb Appliance Warehouse we sell the dumbest fucking appliances. Check out this fridge. This fridge won't ask you about your day, this dumb fucking fridge doesn't know what an Elon Musk is and won't fucking tell you what bullshit that dumb monkey is slapping into his phone today when you try to get some fucking milk. We took out all those "smart" electronics and in their place we put a loaded Glock 9mm that is put right up to that light that turns on when you open the door, which is the smartest thing in this fucking stupid fridge and let me tell you that fucker is on thin goddamn ice, if it gets too smart and tries to turn on before you open that door, the Glock will blow it to hell. Speaking of ice, this stupid fridge makes it. It makes ice, it keeps things cold, it comes with shelves. It's sturdy enough that when your ex comes back to your place looking for their stuff that they think they left behind like nine months ago and they know that you don't have it, but they wanted an excuse to come start a fight with you and throw a chair at your head but miss you and hit your fridge MICHAEL, this fridge will keep trucking because it gives zero shits and it only lives to keep things cold. Come to Stupid Jeff's Dumb Appliance Warehouse, if you ask us if we have an app, we break your kneecaps."

at a bar in lower manhattan and they’re playing catholic choral music. on the wall there’s a giant mural of gregorian monks on a raft

the only other people in here are talking quietly about japanese verb conjugation. there are many statues of gargoyles and gnomes

probably goes without saying this is now my favorite bar in the world

autism/adhd is like “i can’t decide what to eat so i will eat nothing until the specific craving strikes”

were you obsessed with dinosaurs when you were a kid or are you neurotypical?

I wish all neurodivergent people a very pleasant stimming