the light pokemon

I don't understand why they're freaked out by book length. A kid can read one 300-page book or six 50-page books and it's the same amount of reading. Scholastic's bread and butter has traditionally been long, LONG series of relatively short children's books; it's known that bookworm kids like to read a lot. Nobody blinks an eye at a kid reading all sixty-ish Animorphs books or a bookshelf's worth of Goosebumps or The Babysitter's Club. But if the pages are stuck together into thicker books then suddenly that's difficult for a kid? 300 pages isn't even all that big for children's fantasy.

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details

(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it

the shadow realm? no yugi, i’m gonna send you to twink death

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

watching some ablebodied baby go "ugh i hate that paralives is releasing with prosthetic limbs. disability is too dark for a lighthearted life sim. i just hope they dont add wheelchairs. im not ableist tho i just want my lifesims to be light hearted" why dont i get to be represented in a life sim? do i not get to simulate my life? to make myself? fuck you.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

"if yr stabbed dont take the knife out" okay so thats basiclaly cockwarming

i can never leave this place