It's Goop Baby!

A belly can be a "slut waist" too. If you're not a fearful little freak

one of my fears is that i'll be 7 hours down my dash reblogging things not knowing that, like, the end of the world is happening. everyone is posting shit like FUCK THE MARTIANS HAVE TOUCHED DOWN IN LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA meanwhile i'm like here's a picture of snoopy :-)

i could not eat a dozen fried eggs and would never want to do so. but i almost certainly could accidentally eat a dozen deviled eggs if i was at a party or perhaps a picnic and they were there. they are a highly dangerous food item in this way

The devil's greatest trick was convincing the world he doesn't exist. His second greatest trick was that egg thing hoo boy those are good

Pro tip: when you see a brand new slang term, your first question should be how that term has been used in AAVE for the past 20-30 years.

the word eschew exists because somebody sneesed very loudly

gonna start making snopes-style responses to urban legends about tumblr

Went to a fabric store yesterday and saw a sewing machine that did embroidery of photos and the example was of a newborn baby and it was so fucking insane looking I asked an employee if I could buy it and she looked at it and was like “oh my god eugh what the fuck… i think that’s my bosses grandkid….I think you should just take it” so I did

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow