Musings of a not-so-virgin Margarita

“oh what a great idea, let’s grab this hammer”

“I HAVE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAKE”

Malachite is my fave, not only i love her design but she’s also some sort of sea monster now

also a little picture taken by ronaldo probably

and then during the funeral Neville and Harry like spend the whole time trying to give a better eulogy like they keep getting back up after each other are done to try and have another go at it but then they get schooled by Hermione being like ‘for fuck’s sake boys this is how it’s done’ and she goes up to the podium and just bursts into wild banshee hysterics and throws herself across the glistening marble casket, sobbing ‘oh, it should have been me, would to god that it were me, you stallion of a professor’ and all the reporters tear up a little and then go home to pen really fervid biopics on this bleakly noble and tragically overlooked hero of the revolution

- bought us a seagull proof refuse bag (yes, they are actual things)

- loaned us garden tools when we didn’t have any

- invited us around for Friday night drinks so we could meet the other people on the lane

- one of them brought me a bunch of sweetpea flowers that he’d picked from his garden

- and tomorrow he’s coming to cut our hedge for us with his electric hedge trimmer thing idk, and all I have to do is hold the ladder.

Basically, I am UNSETTLED and am now having to enter into an arms race of niceness and I am already so behind oh god.

Remember that scene in The Princess Bride where Westley challenges Vizzini to a battle of the wits—you know, the one with the iocane powder?

The last few times I watched the movie, something about that scene didn’t set quite right with me, and I’ve been developing a theory about what’s really going on.

Westley was involved in a battle of wits against Vizzini, a battle which, necessarily, involves a certain amount of deception. I think that Westley was deceiving Vizzini about his use of the iocane powder.

Westley describes iocane powder to Vizzini as being “odorless, tasteless, dissolves instantly in liquid, and is among the more deadly poisons known to man.” 

When presenting the poison to Vizzini, Westley also gives him the explicit instructions “Inhale this, but do not touch.”

While I believe Westley may truthfully have spent several years building up a resistance to the effects of iocane powder, I propose that rather than poisoning both goblets as he claimed to have done, Westley didn’t pour the iocane powder into either cup of wine!

Especially since the iocane was in powder form, I suspect that rather than being an ingested poison, it was an inhalation poison!

Vizzini wasn’t poisoned when Westley poured (or didn’t pour) iocane powder into the wine goblets, but when Westley told him to waft the vial of iocane powder. Since iocane powder is odorless, Vizzini wouldn’t have noticed that trace amounts of one of  the “more deadly poisons known to man” had been introduced into his system…trace amounts that were still enough to kill a man within minutes.

And since iocane powder came from Australia, and it’s well documented that Australia is home to some of the most venomous species of plants and animals on earth, there’s no reason not to believe that such a small quantity iocane powder could have killed a man of Vizzini’s stature.

Westley had already won the battle of wits before it had begun, and was simply stalling for time until the poison took it’s effect.

We all find ourselves with a long distance friend eventually, whether because someone moved or it’s just easier for you to make friends online. The problem can be finding time to chat or, if you do find time, finding something to do. I have a lot of friends who live in other countries, so I’ve had time to hone my list of online games. These are games that are best accompanied with a Skype call! Please feel free to reblog this with more suggestions!

Pretend You’re Xyzzy > FREE; This is an online version of Cards Against Humanity. The games can be altered to fit your interests by choosing decks from cardcastgame.com

Agario > FREE; It is easiest to find your friends using the party mode. Have one person create a link, then share that link with everyone. Gang up on other players to climb to the top of the leader board

Minecraft > $27 USD; Minecraft is a great way to have a physical presence without actually being anywhere near your friends. Plus, you can build with each other and create other games within the game! I suggest looking into builds like Achievement Hunter’s Let’s Play series

Board Game Online > FREE; This game is more mature and requires a lot of reading, but if you’re into board games and adventure, it’s worth looking into

Town of Salem > FREE; Town of Salem is a game known by many different names but has now been adapted for an online version. You may also know it as Werewolf. It can be difficult to get the hang of, so I would suggest reading the roles and these handy tips

Omegle > FREE; Omegle can be incredibly fun if used right. Decide on a mutual interest and try to find each other. You can attempt to find each other on cam, though be wary

The Jackbox Party Pack > $25 USD; Definitely worth the money. This pack gives you five games that test your trivia, your ability to lie successfully, and your artistic abilities. Also, check out Quiplash

FMK > FREE; Using a long list of names (be as aburd as possible), have a friend pick a number between one and ten. The first three multiples of that number and their corresponding names on the list are the people/characters/items that the player must choose to fuck, marry, or kill

It’s no secret that recent events have begun to make people paint Rose in a… different light. Matt Burnett even hinted at something incredibly dark and foreboding that has been foreshadowed throughout the entire show so far.

Recently in the episode “Keeping It Together” we learned that a host of terrifying force-fusion experiments on innocent gems took place deep below the Kindergarten. After discovering the monstrosities, Garnet nearly has an existential crisis.

But I think Garnet is dead wrong. Not only did Rose Quartz know, but she was the original mastermind behind these Dr. Frankenstein-esque experiments.

First, let’s look at the terminal used to activate the chamber.

The terminal features a diamond on the palm and is left-handed. There is a similar terminal that was featured earlier in Lion 2: The movie.

It features Rose’s emblem, but more importantly, is also left-handed.

In Sworn To The Sword we saw a flashback of Rose Quartz in battle.

Rose Quartz is wielding her sword in her left hand. Rose Quartz is left-handed.

Next, let’s look at the state of the gems used in the experiments.

Forcibly glued together. As far as we know, the gems don’t have access to current technology like the goop used to restore the gem warps. That doesn’t rule out another factor though: Rose’s tears.

A cracked gem, sealed using the power of Rose’s gem. We know it’s possible for gems to be glued together without the use of Peridot’s robonoids.

What about Peridot? In The Return she said the mission was to “check on the cluster”, implying that someone had been toying with these gems far earlier than Peridot was around.

In Marble Madness when Peridot first reveals the tubes housing the gem fusions, she was reactivating them, implying they had been there far earlier.

The last two points I’m about to make are the most chilling. In Keeping It Together Garnet said the gems that were broken into pieces were buried, most likely by the Crystal Gems.

Only Rose and the Crystal Gems knew where these shards were. It would be very easy for her to hide a few of them to use for later experiments.

Lastly, every single forced fusion in the Kindergarten took the form of a hand, foot, arm, or leg.

The bubble in Secret Team happened to contained a variety of gem body parts like arms and legs.

It was a Rose Quartz bubble.

Did she really care about the Earth or was that a cover?

What other secrets did she hide from the Crystal Gems

Is this why Homeworld didn’t try to return for the longest time, because of Rose being in contact with Homeworld?

Is Steven part of her plan?

but what about pearl

i feel like it’d sometimes be like 

You know this scene?