Strange Jewels

And I mean it. Perhaps you don’t understand the weight of that statement, or its depth, but you do. You matter to me and I’m certain I would have loved you. But I won’t be given that chance, as I never have had before. Never before. Never again. And never since.

But still you matter to me. I desire for you to be happy, to realize the goals and dreams you have told me. I sincerely wish I could love you, be the one for you, but it won’t come to pass.

You matter to me, even when I know I don’t matter the same way to you. Not a choice, not even an option. No longer a casual acquaintance but not even quite a friend—maybe not ever.

Or maybe I wasn’t the right one for you.

But I was convinced you were right for me.

And I so wanted to take a photo of you while you were petting that stray black cat. I wanted to immortalize the day, the way everything just felt so serene.

When moment becomes memory, we couldn’t really trust it anymore. But I hope I remember.

// 29.08 //

>> not a date

>>> i have always thought of that city as yours because you were born & raised there, and it felt fitting that my first time visiting it was with you.

Worrying can sometimes be a good thing. It keeps you aware & alert.

I also don’t like overly negative people.

Maybe happiness isn’t a perpetual state of mind. Maybe it’s fragmented. And it’s up to us to pick up the pieces. Maybe the shards make up a greater whole.