the deepest pit of hell

My best friend does not like my gerbils at all. She jokingly calls them vermin and teases me for being the only 25 year old woman that still has pet gerbils. She came to visit me one weekend when one of my sweet babies was really sick, and unfortunately called me at work to solemnly let me know my gerbil had passed. The entire drive home I was trying not to cry because we had plans and I didn’t want to ruin the weekend with my ridiculous grief over a rodent. When I got home, my best friend was sitting in the driveway, hand painting a little coffin with my gerbil’s name on it. I immediately started sobbing. She went and got me a glass of wine, and played a Stevie Nicks song on her phone while she dug a grave. After the somber funeral in my backyard, she cancelled our evening plans and we walked to a bar, where my best friend completely un-ironically held up a glass and toasted my dead gerbil, thanking her for the joy she’d brought me.

y’all bleed outta your vaginas

once a month, your panties look like a fucking murder scene

you are basically giVING BIRTH TO THE FUCKING LINING OF ONE OF YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS

and yet you just go about your daily business like

I love buying your books but PLEASE DON’T

change the covers halfway through a series, could you at least wait until the series is over and then re-print? Or print the old versions as well?

change the size of the paperbacks halfway through a series, now my bookshelf is messed up thanks

if people aren’t complaining about the covers they are probably fine, don’t change them 

Please DO:

Put the number on the front of books and the spines so I know what order the series is in when I’m in a bookshop

sell series in sets for a discounted price

talk to the readers more about what they like regarding cover designs

add illustrations to the inside cover pages, I love illustrations

Spines in a series that make a rainbow, my heart

and then there’s the hair stroking thing that she does with other women who are often adorably much shorter than her