Just Fuck Me Up

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.

Happy Pride all the queers in my phone. But an extra happy pride to all the bisexuals in straight passing relationships. To the trans people still living in the closet for their safety. To the nonbinary people getting misgendered. To the ace and aro people who sometimes feel like Pride isn’t for them. To the BIPOC people who face discrimination in the queer community. To everyone who feels like they aren’t queer enough.

scientist: let’s call you the… goldentail

Every time this post comes around I’m too busy to tell this story so I’m gonna do it now: when I learned to scuba dive, there was a dude in my dive group named Dumbass Dave who was always being relentlessly roasted by his buddies because when they went to the Great Barrier Reef he brought a baggie of hard boiled egg down with him because he wanted to find a moray eel and feed it and pet it

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever

how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever