crikey! @notcrowfacts - Tumblr Blog

Bruh why you wasting those people time

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aplpaca

google image search "carolina wren sleeping" rn do it

aplpaca

fine i will do it for you

aplpaca

fleshdyke

theyre going to put a fucking band on me

fleshdyke

the ladies love my colourful and bright leg band

fleshdyke

i have fathered a disproportionate amount of the local egg population as a result of my colourful and bright leg band

herbgerblin

me: my son is getting so hugelarge

*takes him out of his pen for all of two seconds*

me: omg nevermind he is still incredibly tiny

ID: two photos of a very small black kitten standing in a grey and white hallway. In the first image, the kitten is standing near an open doorway. In the second image, the kitten is slightly crouched in a corner. End ID.

soft-october-night

Like to charge reblog to cast

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anarchy-kisses

Gays not knowing strap means gun and straights not knowing strap means strap on has been the funniest miscommunication on the Internet so far

thickness-protection-program

“Get the strap!”

theequeerstrian

For further hilarity:

“He’s packing” but is he cis or trans

katchwreck

ultraviolet-divergence

They're price-gouging so hard it surprised even Wells Fargo.

Wells Fargo analyst Mohit Bansal said the new pricing range for the vaccine could add around $2.5 billion to $3 billion in annual revenue for Pfizer.

"This is much higher than our assumption of $50 per shot, and even assuming $80 per shot net price in high-income countries, we see $2 per share upside to our estimates" from the new prices, Bansal wrote in a research note.

Price hikes like this are only possible because mRNA vaccine manufacturers refuse to release the patents and allow cheaper copies of the technology to be made, even though that would unquestionably speed access to more of the world. But releasing the patents would destroy the grip that Pfizer-BionTech and Moderna have on the mRNA vaccine market, preventing them from fixing prices like this. Both Moderna's and Pfizer's share prices have shot upwards after announcing this.

towerofglass

secondbeatsongs

cut open a package of bacon while making food tonight, and then paused to take a pic because I realized the way I open bacon is probably not normal

is it just me? does anyone else do this?

secondbeatsongs

update:

(ID in alt text)

I think we've all done something very important here. thank you for your input!

stormtide-leviathan

Love character arcs where two people start in the same shitty place but one of them starts toward redemption and the other spirals further and further downward. Like yessssss the hardship of choosing to become a better person in spite of who you were before and the people who want you to stay like that. yessssssss suffer and spiral and become worse in spite of the better choice you refuse to accept. yesssssssss the inherent tragedy of losing someone you once loved to the person they are now.

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ripempezardexerox

evergreenbutch

ID: large 3d silver metallic all caps text that reads "gay sex" with dramatic backlighting and a lens flare. end ID.

sandersstudies

I teach middle/high school level theater and every time I want to complain I watch a theater session with the 4-6 year olds.

sandersstudies

The people who possess the patience to explain “our face goes tooooward the audience. The audience is the people in the seats” are the foundation of the theater industry.

sandersstudies

The 4-6 year olds are performing “Brown Bear Brown Bear What Do You See?” And the directors are putting in more work than anyone on Broadway.

sandersstudies

God I lied the youngest kid in the program is “almost three” which means he’s TWO. The only prerequisites are basically “is fully potty trained” and “doesn’t cry when mom is out of sight.”

ladyoftheharbour

that picture of the little boy holding a puppy and smiling with the writing on the bottom that says hi daddy this is my doggy chelsea isn't she cute i love you and the picture of the cat with the writing that says our michael... pet photos of all time

ladyoftheharbour

these ones

emberglowfox

fuck all cis people except for the guy who dmed me on instagram to ask about my new name and, upon me explaining the concept of transgenderism, said, “interesting strat. i like it.”

slipping-into-madness

bundibird

I am BEGGING y'all to get put and vote in the midterms. The Republicans have been so incredibly open about what their roadmap is, and it involves shit like this and a whole bunch of other horrific shit.

The midterms matter – possibly more than the presidential election. The midterms are what decides what the president has the power to do for the remainder of his term, and you can either give him democrats who will work with him, or Republicans who will blockade everything he tries to pass, and who will then work together to usher in Trump 2024.

Please for the love of everything you hold dear, get out and vote in November, I am begging you.

luckyladylily

It’s not just trans stuff, the wording could easily be applied to basically any queer issue. Republicans are literally trying to make it illegal to be queer in public.

shinobicyrus

They’re actually calling it the Stop the Sexualization of Children Act of 2022, which isn’t fucking loaded language at all. Far-right pundits and politicians will revel in being able to say of the bill’s opponents “[Insert Ideological Enemy Here] is against stopping of the sexualization of children!”

The text of the bill complains of those dirty “newly implemented sexual education curriculums encourage discussion of sexuality, sexual orientation, transgenderism, and gender ideology as early as kindergarten” and calls on the prohibition of Federal funds or facilities being used to “develop, implement, facilitate, promote, or fund any sexually-oriented program, event, or literature for children under the age of 10.”

The bill defines “sexually-oriented material” as “any depiction, description, or simulation of sexual activity, any lewd or lascivious depiction or description of human genitals (yeah that was totally happening in kindergardens 🙄), or” - and here’s the important bit - “any topic involving gender identity, gender dysphoria, transgenderism, sexual orientation, or related subjects.” (source)

They are absolutely equating the mere existence of non-heterosexuals and trans people as something sexually explicit that young children must be protected from, and much like Florida’s “Parental Rights” bill, this one would also empower parents to sue private individuals, organizations, and even government officials who “exposed” their children to anything that has to do with queer people.

There’s no chance of this bill making it out of the House right now, but this is absolutely a statement of intent by Republican legislators to their base that if they can take back Congress, the surge of anti-LGBTQ laws and hate-speech that have been running rampant across state legislatures will be nationalized.

Only one party is doing this. Republicans and Democrats are not the same.

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coughloop

One of the most important tweets ever

cloudstation

my spouse and I watched the mexican episode of great british bake off because we’re mexican and we thought it would be funny. the hosts asked if mexico was a real place and none of the contestants had ever heard of pico de gallo. even the judges weren’t very knowledgeable about the food they were making. that one lady peeling an avocado like it’s a potato. guacamolo. tah-cows.

americans take for granted their proximity to authentic mexican food. look at this bro this could be u

captainlordauditor

As a Jew I wish to offer my condolences in solidarity to all Mexicans during this trying time. One of the judges of gbbo once shared a recipe for challah made with milk. You can’t eat milk with most meals challah is served at. He claimed it was “traditionally served at Passover”. It’s forbidden to own challah or its ingredients during Passover.

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crikey!