¬silver morals;

Allard knew Lara didn’t have the capacity to deal with the blows he’d been dealt, but it didn’t matter. After his first attempt at Apparating failed, he considered going straight to a hospital. He doubted he was the only one who’d disappeared from the field in a desperate need for a bed at the hospital. The thought quickly passed and made him feel guiltier than any infidelity ever had. The transportation was so painful, so suffocating, it felt as though he might’ve fully lost consciousness before he landed slumped over one of the chairs in their safe house.

Thankfully, Lara didn’t touch him. The hand he raised to place his fingertips on the familiar outline of her cheekbones and jaws proved he wanted contact with her - he was just embarrassed by the sound that might’ve escaped his mouth if he’d been touched instead. “We will…home first, then different fireplace…all Floo…” He hadn’t realized just how tired, how pained he was until he had to speak. “They can’t know…about this.” In his heightened state of paranoia, he feared someone might track where they came from if they used Floo transportation to get from their safe house to the hospital. The only network this fireplace was connected to was their home, easily destroyed or hidden by either of them as the rightful homeowners. 

Allard tried to push himself up but collapsed again with a groan. It ignited such a wild, sudden fire in his torso that shot up through his neck and forced his eyes to turn on Lara sharply. There was a new energy surging through him just long enough to ask the question he was despearte to hear an answer to. “Are we going to continue to be cryptic or shall we finally both tell the truth about which side of the battle we’re on?”

His touch stung. She did not know why, but she allowed it anyway, sighing softly to accompany it. ‘’I don’t wish to argue with you now, but all that travelling would only cause you harm. And it’s a wrong choice you are making.’’ Her voice had way too much stamina compared with his mutters, and she suddenly felt inadequate speaking. She pursed her lips together, as if apologetically. ‘’Privacy has no value next to health. You’re in no position to be acting conservative to anything but yourself. But fine.’’ She allowed it, holding a hand up in the air for him to lean on if he wanted it, but still allowing him to choose between touch and just companionship. 

She knelt before him, this time more determined about helping him up, and the question he’s been meaning to ask for so long didn’t even seem to matter anymore. Lara liked conversation and words about power, but in the dark of the first January night, it was losing some of its meaning. Still, her eyes glimmered, still more focused on helping Allard get inside safely. ‘’I’m sure you’ve known before I did. You’re asking an impossible question of me and I know your answer already. It burns my tongue to say. Not because we’re in it together, but because I hoped there would be a better choice.’’ She could ramble about why she believed in Jonathan Marks and why she believed in him less than she should have for a long time, but Allard was in pain. 

For a selfish, oratory moment, Lara figured out it would distract him. ‘’I don’t mind talking about it as I don’t mind talking about anything. It’s delicate, I agree, but I’m sure that despite all secrecy, we both know our truths. You should have told me first, you know?’’ she looked fondly at him for a second. ‘’I wish Jonathan were less like him sometimes. It would have made things so much easier for everyone to swallow.’’

Garrett was itching to take out his pen and paper and jot down every single word that came out of her mouth as she seemed to be piecing things together. He didn’t interrupt at all, though he was bouncing on his toes and had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from blurting out questions like “How well do you know Jon Marks?” and “Have you ever seen Aurors act without permission?”

Unintentionally, there was a visible face twitch when she mentioned Maytes but he was so obviously agitated he hoped it wouldn’t draw much attention. His fingers fidgeted and he needed to write this down, but he couldn’t. Finally, unable to keep silent and still any longer, a question shot out of his mouth as his white-knuckled hands suddenly unclasped. “Certainly battling, then? Where?” He was prepared to believe her speculation as truth. He knew the Maytes had nothing planned, but he didn’t doubt someone would try to turn this on them.

The only Mayte he had seen still present after the vanishings was not one that could ease his worries. 

Garrett followed Lara’s gaze to look at the others that seemed to be increasingly frantic. Any minute he was waiting for someone to scream. How he wished there was a Prophet photographer there, and without shame or regret, he pulled his pen and paper from his pocket to start hastily scribbling down a description of the scene. He didn’t make any notes about what Lara’s speculations, but it was burned into his brain and he knew it’d rattle around at the back of his mind when he wrote this article. He could already see some Ministry members spot him and they started to approach, apparently eager to make a statement about the chaos and disappearances now that they’d consulted each other.

Looking back at Lara, Garrett really wished there was a camera there to capture her - sitting down, thinking, as chaos started to rise around them. It wasn’t attention-grabbing enough to make a front page or even the paper, but it was the type of photograph that went into history books. “You’re someone,” he pointed out. 

‘‘How is this in any way relevant? I know him very well,’’ she sighed out, as blunt as distracted, though it was not a truth she feared. The only thing different claiming it now was that she didn’t disclaim the fact that that was once upon a time. This time, past tense didn’t fit in. Besides, it was past the point to pretend one way or the other. ‘’Permission from whom? Edward Lupin?’’ Lara threw the journalist a skeptical look. They don’t need to act without permission when permission is granted by a strong and biased affiliation. She knew this would get them in trouble one day.

‘‘I’m not a Seer, I’m afraid. Even the battling is just deduction,’‘ she admitted her powerless angle with a shrug, passive-aggressive at the event itself rather than Garrett Abernathy. ‘‘Someone needs to owl and prepare St. Mungo’s.’‘ And with that statement, her heart turned into a clenched fist, thinking of previous battles and what unseen wounds they tended to leave. Evelyn’s face popped up, but she shook it off with hurry. And how could the people she cared about go to St. Mungo’s casually without being held responsible for whatever other wounds they provoked? ‘‘On a second thought, no. It’s just a hunch. We can’t alarm St. Mungo’s for no concrete proof.’‘ She cared little how prepared they were going to be to take in the dozens Weasleys. Perhaps this managed to turn her a little cruel, after all.

The revelation struck her. You are someone. Her ego alone was pumping blood through her veins now, at a vertiginous rate. She mattered. She truly was someone, especially in that room, where all civilians were spinning around aimlessly, no leaders in sight. You are someone. Anyone can make the difference that counted. She was that person before. The man’s sentence was meant to be less than the echoes in her mind, but she chose to see it her way. As if he was some powerless man looking for guidance from her. As if she was some powerful woman. She swallowed. It was not time for false modesty.

Her wand slipped from her glove. She took it to her neck and whispered, ‘’Sonorus,’’ to the sea of people. She didn’t need to stand up on tables or step up in front of everyone, on the stairs. From the crowd she spoke peacefully. ‘’My name is Lara Avery. I understand that the promises of peace until midnight frighten you and that you suspect that something terrible will happen to either those vanished or those who remained. I cannot wipe off your worries. But chaos has never brought anything good. Our host or our aurors are not here to put an end to this gathering, and I am no authority, but I strongly recommend that you stop, take a deep breath and then evacuate calmly the location. Remaining here can in no way be a help to your security. But it is essential that you do leave quietly, for I have to remind you this is a muggle space, and that you do so calmly, so that everyone else is able to too.’’

Then she looked around, wondering if people even heard her. Shrugging at Garrett, she bowed a little. ‘’Good night, Mr. Abernathy. And a happy new year. I, at least, will be following my own advice now.’’

One moment he’d been watching some of the Maytes from afar. The next, they were gone.

For years he’d been alone in this modern world, it was something he’d gotten used to. When the rest of the Maytes arrived, however, he’d found comfort in their distant, often silent presence in his life. Even if he couldn’t openly speak with any of them, they were still the greatest anchors in his life. To watch them all suddenly vanish, without him, was terrifying. Was this planned? Why hadn’t they told him? Was he not important to them anymore? Not good enough, not strong enough?

It took some minutes but Garrett finally seemed to get the cotton out of his ears and fully take stock of the situation. He overheard people asking where so-and-so had disappeared to, names he didn’t know or others he recognized mostly from newspaper articles. It wasn’t just the Maytes who’d vanished…so why had so many people disappeared at once? Where could they all have gone off to? Why did no one present seem to know what was going on? 

“Did you hear anyone say anything?” Garrett asked when he saw Lara. If anyone was going to know what was going on, shouldn’t it be the girl - now a married woman, how time flew - who exposed an entire hidden history? “Were you near anyone when they disappeared? Did it sound like they Apparated?”

‘‘No, but I can think this through logically,’’ Lara began, not even registering who was talking to her, staring blankly at the floor as her thoughts tried desperately to arrange. ‘’Every auror in the room is missing. If this is a flagrante delicto, and the aurors managed to somehow take so many people fighting against the Ministry all at once to the auror station...’’ Her pulse was explosive by this moment. It was a case scenario she couldn’t afford to consider. Lara quickly searched around for clues to disarm that option. ‘’No, this isn’t auror work. Unofficially maybe, but they aren’t allowed anything without prior explanation.’’

The perfect treasure hunt for her mind, and she only felt overwhelmed with concern and fear. She couldn’t focus properly. ‘’They didn’t apparate. It had to be a portkey. But what united them through a common portkey while still separating the crowd in half?’’ She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but they’ve been targeted without the slightest doubt. The people whose absence was the loudest were solid vanished proof of it being organized. ‘’I don’t know who would have done this. Jonathan wouldn’t.’’ She knew it. Not without a word on it beforehand to prepare people. Allard couldn’t have known he was going to disappear. He would have hinted it, at least, if that were the case. Her logic was based on trust and instincts, but she knew it couldn’t be otherwise. ‘’Someone arranged for certain people to disappear. Let’s think it through simply. Why? The... people from Mayte, Jonathan Marks, Mia Selwyn and their people and... the auror department featuring the Weasleys.’’ It was suddenly crystal clear. ‘’They’re battling. It has to either be that or be a bigger accord only for the inner circle,’’ she made a face, not accepting the thought that she wouldn’t be involved on one side or the other. If anything, she had to be involved twice. ‘’No, it’s simple. They’re battling. No one’s signing peace treaties under the table. Important Ministry people are still here and as clueless as us. They have to be battling. They gathered known supporters of all causes and they’re sorting it out through violence. Or, I suppose, someone is kidnapping the others. That’s fashionable too these days, it seems.’’

The only thing worse than violence was her being away, not knowing what was happening as they were talking. She chugged the rest of her champagne glass in a gulp. ‘’Press excluded, apparently. Sorry,’’ she shrugged helplessly, throwing himself on a chair at the table in front of them, while people were evacuating quickly. She didn’t care to go home to an empty house or at the safety cottage, waiting for Allard. Not yet. She would wait later, but not now, when she felt so restless. She had to calm down, as people were getting increasingly hysterical. ‘’Someone really needs to tell them to stop this,’’ she commented bitterly, looking at people finding each other and observing how the atmosphere was reeking of fake adrenaline.

Lara Dupond, of course. It is wonderful to finally match a face to the name; I have heard only glowing reports so far.

Aerwynna Howell. It is a genuine pleasure.

‘’Likewise. I would take them all with a grain of salt. But of course. Always a fan of the truth in all its shapes. This initiative is up that alley. We’re all here, standing like civilized people, and just discussing thoughts and interests. Even the big bad wolf’s plans begin to sound acceptable with this tone.’’

I cannot speak in detail as to the feelings of my companions, but I am glad this evening has been attended by so many. I only regret that it took this long for us all to agree to speak, and do away with violence, even if just for an evening.

“Why shouldn’t we be talking? You’re naturally curious, and tonight you don’t have to quake, because there is nothing I could do to you if I wanted. The speech isn’t just yet.” He took one of her hands between both of his. “My eyes are going to turn soft now and I’m going to apologize from the depths of my heart for Evelyn. You don’t need to accept right away. You can look upset I even dared bring up her name. It’s your decision.” He gave her hand a significant squeeze and dropped it if she hadn’t  already jerked it away by that point. “I understand why you took the actions you did in turning me in, so forth and so on, let me add more words for those that may pay attention to how many words we look to be exchanging, and then, yes, wait a few more moments and here is where I start to convince you, to explain my actions and the action I want to take for the future.” 

He indicated one of the adjoining, less noisy, rooms of the suite with a hand. “If you would follow me, because this is such a serious conversation we are having right now. I gloss over mistakes I made in my youth. I only account for Rose or Andelina–or anything else– among those that ask Rose can only be called a mercy. Andelina I similarly had no choice but to end suffering after a grave miscommunication between me and someone who understood what my goals were as little as the general public seem to right now. Tragedies but not regrets and little to do with me.”

“The focus is not on me much at all. It’s on where the system in power is broken. I hit systematic oppression of spirit users, except those the Minsitry deems useful. Then there’s the lies, fear mongering, and the coverup of the last war. That doesn’t feature heavily with us, we were always on the same side on this, but with others, I’ll spend longer.  The twisted corruption of Harry Potter, an unpopular speaking point but not as unpopular as it used to be. History we are doomed to repeat. It was a culture that creates the type of radical that the Ministry claims to be guarding against–but of course I’ve learned to grow beyond the radicalism. This is not a time of war, we have weakened ourselves enough, lost enough. We have lost ourselves. Is not losing Hogwarts and the Ministry doing nothing to regain it a symbol enough of that?  But I don’t suggest radical action there either, or at least not violent retaliation if it can be avoided. Parlay to see what these so called Maytes want. Though the Maytes aren’t the biggest threat to weaken us. I address the muggle problem last, carefully. Endangered creatures pushed to smaller and smaller pockets and wizards to soon follow the beasts. That sort of protest. I want to coexist with the muggles, truly, but it is not coexistence that has been the policy in the last thousand years.”

“That is at least the outline of the first few points from an earnest speaker.”

The mocking of what should have been a recurrent apology, Jonathan every Saturday afternoon expressing his undying regrets and declaring to have been blinded and stupid. Lara appreciated the idea of narrating what the conversation between them was supposed to be for the public eye, but this seemed out of line. She swallowed her smile in an instant, now glaring with organic confusion, as it should have been if they weren’t friends already. ‘’One day you need to make an effort and find it in your heart to make a genuine apology for that,’’ she spoke neutrally, after he was done, with no intention of hearing it now rather than giving him a brief assignment for the well-being of their dynamic. ‘’Though it’s best if we don’t really discuss it now.’’ Or ever, though she was dying for a sincere apology.

In the moments he spoke, although she knew some backstage details that clashed with what he was saying, she could say she believed him wholly. It was a good rephrasing of the truth. Awe was difficult to hide in her eyes. For a split second, she feared that, even if she hadn’t reached out and today they remained enemies as they were pretending, she would have been convinced now. But she cast away the thought of ever being manipulable. This was her choice. Even his narrative only sounded good because she gave him direction. Her face almost lit up when Jon started speaking of things she had been saying too for some time. ‘’What is our biggest threat if not the Maytes?’’ she engaged, finding it only natural to make it look like a real dialogue. She also wanted to know his opinion and why he was playing his cards this way, minimizing the strangers in their castle. ‘’And how exactly do you plan to phrase your twisted definition of coexisting so it would be generally accepted? People will ask. You want supremacy. It doesn’t look good from any angle. Ask Allard how that French phrase about equality and fraternity goes.’’

‘‘I won’t be taking more of your time. You have real people to convince. Still... you might need to explain your relationship with Lawrence Frisk, who is here tonight as well. How did you choose to explain it?’‘ There were many options that they even discussed a long time back. She was curious and needed to know which one he would be relying on.