Keep on moving

‘‘This is repetitive and tiring. Your grudges are too heavy. It simply seems to me that you’re not accepting common sense. But I’ll humor you. I used him, how? Ask your best friend how we came to be friends, how we came up with everything else. Ask your best friend where he is living. Ask your best friend about me sometime, too. You’ll get a series of revelations, Luce.’‘

“Since it didn’t seem like you were getting it before, I thought it was better to repeat myself rather than have it come to a misunderstanding of you thinking I do anything but merely tolerating your presence. I don’t need to ask him about you nor do I want to.”

‘‘That’s because you aren’t seeing  the bigger picture. The evil is more than what people tell you it’s evil. Evil wouldn’t be evil if it introduced itself. It would be dumb. Well, that’s what they want you to think.’‘

“I’m not naive, but thanks for the life lesson. I really needed that.” Lucy rolled her eyes. “I don’t let anyone tell me what to think.” 

‘‘Is it the fact that all of Britain’s evil men, including the Ministry, Auror system and Healer association are gathered here possibly to discuss how to mass control us all and keep us like sheep on a field? I guess it has to be something like that.’‘

“I wouldn’t put all Healers and the Aurors with ‘Britain’s evil men’, but I suppose I can see what you’re talking about. Don’t really think they’re here to discuss mass control of the population though. Would be a bit on the nose.”

“I don’t need examples. I’m saying you do have warrant already. I’m not against you or your family. I’d like to think I’m friendly enough with many of them. But if you want law and order, you keep an even vigil.”

“Alright. Do what you have to do. All I am saying is that I am not someone you need to focus your attention on tonight. I already regret coming here and I don’t think i’ll be staying for much longer. “

‘‘We lived in the same room for seven years,’’ she argued, ready to point out at least three moments of bonding between them, though years apart from each other. ‘’It wasn’t supposed to be forgotten though?’‘ Lara grimaced, not really understanding where Lucy was coming from. ‘‘Yeah, I didn’t help. I wrote it word by word. How is it relevant to your narrative?’‘

“Doesn’t mean that we’re friends.” Sure she’d done her best to be polite at the time as to not disrupt the room dynamics, but she did not see a reason to pretend now. They were both adults after all. “It’s relevant because Oli is my best friend and I care about him. You used him.”

‘‘Oh, you finished University. That’s great. Great about breaking up with Sharpe too. You deserve someone nice. And you’ll say… why is Victoire being so nice? True. I don’t know. I’m in a mood.’‘ She shrugged, half bored, half sad. A pointy smile covered her lips at Lucy’s reverse question. ‘‘Aside from the engagement, you mean?’‘ How was she going to explain an engagement to anyone knowing about Scorpius and his real girlfriend? There were options, out of which all stung. She just hoped no one would bring it up and know of it. ‘‘Nothing much. Still kicking your sister’s butt in my lane of press. I’d like to adopt a cat, too. You know Toulouse died, right? My cat who was Dominique… and your age. Sad. He died two years ago… today.’‘ 

“Umm thank you, I guess?” She wasn’t sure if Victoire really meant it or if she was trying to actually be nice to her right now, so Lucy was taking everything she was saying with a grain of salt. At least she admitted that being nice to her wasn’t normal procedure so she was slightly more open to listening. Wait. Engagement? How could she have missed this? “You’re engaged? To who?” When did that happen? Sure they weren’t close, but she thought she’d hear about it... “I didn’t know that was today. I’m sorry. My condolences. I think getting a new cat would be great for you.” If Vic was being nice, she could try her best and do the same, even if it wasn’t easy.

Lucy let go of his hand at the door, but she didn’t say goodbye, so he followed her into her living room, pressing his luck. He’d expected more color, the white of the furniture and the walls reminding him of his own front room, though Lucy had made her living space more homey and less minimalist modern. Tell-o-vision across from the couch caught his eye, but he didn’t comment on anything, like doing so might remind Lucy he shouldn’t be there (Though who said shouldn’t?). She surprised him by inviting him to sit down, and made him a little bit more secure as to his position in her eyes. He shook his head though. “You sit down. I should get the drinks. You don’t need to be a host. I’m taking care of you. Unicorn is still on the table too, though I don’t know where you’d put it. Tell me what you have and what you want. And what cabinet the glasses are in so I don’t need to accio. Are you hungry or did you eat at the party? You can change into something more comfortable and I’ll get you whatever you want.” He went from not wanting to say anything to upset a delicate balance to quite possibly stepping too far, but she gave him the centimeter that had him making the leap.

She didn’t know why she invited him in, but she knew that it was a bad idea. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to ask him to leave. Not yet at least. She wasn’t ready to be all alone. He didn’t seem to object either so she chose to stay quiet for now. “You don’t know where everything is. Let me do it. I can’t just sit here and not do anything.” It was faster this way and she would keep her mind occupied. “I’m not hungry, thanks. Really, you don’t need to do all that. I appreciate it, I do, but are you sure you don’t need to go back to the party? I don’t want to ruin your night. I’m sure you came with someone...” Lucy decided to stop being selfish. Sure, she didn’t feel like being alone tonight, but that was neither his fault nor his responsibility. Knowing him she knew he rarely attended an event by himself and whoever she was she was probably looking for him by now. 

“And when it would be warranted?” Astrid asked archly. “I don’t think we’re discussing unwarranted. You’re right though. Others more likely to strike out.” Like Lucy’s other cousin, Roxanne, like Astrid herself. 

“When someone we love is in danger, for example. ” Lucy waved it off, rolling her eyes. She wasn’t an irrational person after all, never had been. “Exactly. So focus on them and leave my family alone.”

“No, I’m not dismissing his worries,” she responded just a touch slowly. “I’m not counting out the possibility of trouble from anyone, including him or you” she continued with the important distinction.

“Neither my cousin nor I am the type of person to cause trouble unwarranted.” Louis was a bit paranoid and aggressive at times, but he was family and she knew that his heart was in the right place. That’s why he became an auror so he could protect people. “There are other people more likely to cause trouble you should keep an eye on.”  

“No, I didn’t.” He said it flippantly, making a point by dismissing hers. He wanted to be there still. He cared still. It would have been more romantic to phrase it as a positive, to say that as far as he was concerned he did have to be there, but, to him, it meant more the way he phrased it, not counting caring as a shackle. “Alright, let’s go.” He didn’t look for Minnie, or mention he should say goodbyes, as always one more likely to ask forgiveness later rather than permission in the moment. “Where’s home now? I can call a car or you can apparate us.” If Lucy corrected him, told him there was no “us” and she could see herself home, he’d back off, but for the moment he was taking the same forgiveness over permission tactic with Lucy as well.

Lucy knew that she should say no, thank him and go back home by herself. He’d done more than enough for her tonight. Still, knowing something and doing something to change it were two different things. She didn’t want to go home by herself. She felt incredibly lonely, even if she wasn’t ready to admit that out loud. She needed someone by her side, specifically she needed him. She didn’t stop to examine what that said about her or her feelings. “I can apparate us.”  Walking over to the apparating spot she had yet to let go of his hand, only doing so when they were standing in front of her door to get out her keys.  

She hadn’t been living here that long, but she tried her best to make it look and feel like a home. The end result was something she was quite proud of, actually. “You- you can sit down on the couch. Do you want something to drink?” She wasn’t ready to be alone just yet.

He hugged her back just as tightly for a long moment, wanting to shield her, wishing he had bothered to commit to learning to apparate so he could just take her somewhere far away–though he wouldn’t have acted on the impulse even then when she hadn’t said it was what she wanted.  He backed off only slightly after awhile, just enough to look at her properly and assess whether she needed to continue being held or if he should back off. “You are so strong and needing this doesn’t make you less so. I’ve got you. Whatever you need.”

She felt herself calm down with his arms around her. Feeling more grounded immediately. Being so close to him again felt nice, like that was where she belonged. Lucy knew that it was selfish of her to want him here, that she shouldn’t have the right to have him by her side now. “Thank you. You didn’t- you didn’t have to do that.” But she appreciated it and she thought that even without saying it it was obvious by the fact that she hesitated before letting go. “I think I should go home. I don’t know why I thought coming here was a good idea.” In all honesty, she didn’t think that, she just didn’t want to sit home by herself ringing in the new year. 

‘‘For all of us. Which sucks. It’s a bad way to start your year, granted. And this party is in no way comfortable. I’m sorry you had a bad day.’‘

“I don’t really believe in one day deciding my whole year, I’m not that superstitious.” But she agreed that this party wasn’t a good idea. “I guess we should all be on our guard tonight. Something feels off...”

“Are you sure?” His voice held a fair amount of frustration. but he wasn’t exactly snapping at her, too tired to put that much punch behind it. “ Because I seem to remember yelling it repeatedly while you accused me of wanting to sleep with all our friends.”

“No, I’m not sure.” Lucy admitted with a sigh, head in her hands. She couldn’t definitively say and she wasn’t the type to lie to him and put it all on him. She’d been angry and hadn’t been thinking straight. Usually she planned things out but back then she acted out of pure emotion. “That’s not what I said.” She remembered that much. 

‘‘We were dorm mates for seven years and, at some point, fairly close, I like to think. It’s very confusing to think about what suddenly made you this hostile. Maybe I want to know what happened.’‘

Lucy grimaced. “I wouldn’t say that we were ever close, if I’m being honest.” She didn’t see the reason in pretending for politeness sake. “Didn’t you help Oliver with his speech at graduation? I didn’t forget that.” 

‘‘I’m happy I could win you over. Tell me about your life. All well? Still with Noah Sharpe? Still in university? Lucy, my dear, it’s like we never talk.’‘

“Yeah, totally. Noah and I broke up. I started a new job at the Ministry that I quite enjoy. What about you?” 

“We forever did. I don’t have a date tonight if you’re curious. I’m not curious. I know I don’t have a date. I don’t know if you are here with someone. Are you?”

“I’m here by myself.” Which was by choice, she didn’t know who would’ve asked her or who she would’ve asked if she wanted a date. “After everything with Noah...” Lucy sighed, trailing off. “I guess  I’m not ready for someone new.”

“Not an official duty, but I suppose I am, and I’m staying sharp tonight. I could suggest you do the same, but I don’t want to advocate paranoia. I’ll leave that to your cousin Louis.”

“That’s a good thing. I did not plan on getting black out drunk either.” Not that she ever did. Lucy liked a drink or two from time to time, but she was trying to make healthier life choices now. “But you’re not dismissing his worries either.” Which was an important distinction.