i may be terminally online but at least i have fun and curate my experience to cater to my interests and don't intentionally seek out things that will make me feel worse and don't take out my personal issues on strangers on the internet

i have disorders they haven’t even discovered yet. for example sometimes life is hard

are u a "I can only have 4 tabs open or I will spontaneously combust" person or a "I have 83 tabs open and at least 12 of them are exactly the same" person

earlier I was driven by madness but I had lunch so I’m ok now 😎

the rise of ‘aesthetics’ as a common way to describe literally every facet of yourself is like the most destructive thing I’ve seen on social media this shit is crazy. it is the most beauty obsessed thing in such a subtle and evil way.... it goes down to the books you read the chicness of your clutter the music you listen to how you decorate your water bottle like literally every single thing you do is scrutinized and defined into egirl or cottagecore or dark academia or vapor wave or baddie or whatever and it just forces you to quantify yourself and criticize every thing you do without break ..... am I sitting down in an effortlessly cute way? Is the mess on my bedside table whimsical? Is my shampoo luxurious and glamorous? And it’s all just a way to sell shit and profit off of your insecurity!!!!!! You watch yourself from an outside perspective, making sure you’re not just beautiful but you fit exactly into whatever box you strive to belong to, and it leaves no room for mistakes!!!! You can’t be embarrassing or cringey or gross or ugly unless it’s in an ironic way that fulfills a meta identity that is also quantifiable. Everybody has a uniform now that they’re trying to fit into. If you take care of plants you’re cottagecore if you play video games and like pastels you’re an e girl if you like sweaters and reading (classic white people books only!!!) then you’re dark academia you’re tailoring every single aspect of yourself and isn’t it tiring????? Isn’t procuring yourself tiring????? I’m going to rip a phone book in half

I diagnose you with the weight of living

These statements are worse than I ever could have expected and I thought my expectations were already at zero

I was talking about being afraid of people leaving me behind because I'm too sick, and my boyfriend just looked at me and said: "It's my choice to be your boyfriend. It's your friends choice to be your friends. You don't have to understand it, but you have to respect our choice. Don't try to make the decision of whether you're worthy of people on their behalf because that's not your decision to make." I think that's an important thing to remember. That whether we're worthy of someone's time and effort is something others can decide for themselves regardless of whether or not we agree with them. There's a lot of peace in realizing that literally all you have to do is accept the love other people choose to throw your way. That you aren't the one who gets to determine that you aren't worthy of their love. That other people can choose to love you regardless of how you feel about yourself - and that you can learn to respect their choice even though you're feeling unworthy.

public libraries <3333