Girls, please take a moment for your naïve, fallen soldier.

Just about 1 whole month of disappointment and stupidity. And the anxiety? Oh. My.

The worst part is that in all of this, I was taking my concerns to my closest friend and it was just criticism with a dash of 2% compassion.

I realised a pattern of when I take ANYTHING to her, it’s 90% criticism. Don’t get me wrong, I have made some STUPID decisions, but at the end of it, I’m coming to my closest friend. It no longer feels like a space for me to actually just let my guard down and lean in to my feelings. It feels too risky.

At least I don’t feel loneliness anymore. A plus I guess🥲

You’re telling me it’s already hard out here for us & you want to start acting crappy because you’re feeling threatened? Jealous?

So, when I form new friendships, rather than confronting with confidence, whatever situation I face, I see that the person is a bit too bold with something or they were ignorant somewhere and I just distance myself from them.

This is my ‘response.’

Me casually slipping in that I actually have a lot of respect for escorts because men are actual shit heads & the work takes a different type of mental fortitude

Her: quickly agrees & says she’s not even that mad at the friend because she would do the same if she wasn’t chicken

The way I rolled my eyes

Also, men in extremely comfortable positions, don’t even socialise at Annabel’s lol

I’d need more than 2 hands to count how many men I know, dropped their membership, because they were tired of the scene

So I’m shopping in Lidl & this guy stops me before I get to the checkout to ask me, am I from X country & I laugh saying yes - then ask how he knows?

His answer “there’s just this natural beauty.”

LMAO go away because I just slapped cream on my face & left home - didn’t even brush my eyebrows

Then I go to check out my items & when I’m about to pay he pushes my hand away & taps his card & tells me to wait for him & not go

I wait, we talk outside & eventually he asks my age

I say I’m 17 & his reaction was too much, but he pushed & asked am I sure he can’t have my number

Even said he’ll wait, I said no but have a nice day & left laughing

More like in a sense that this is someone I could call a best friend in every sense of the word & even if they’re not similar to me, at least shares an insurmountable level of trust that I have for them.

Me getting congratulated by senior banker I have a crush on that works at the same bank as my internship: soooo giddy and can’t stop smiling 😭😂😂💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

AASDFGHKLDLSLDJHSKS

Wait that’s 5 offers

FIVE INTERNSHIP OFFERS THIS YEAR AND WE JUST HIT MONTH 6

Now I have 2 internships in private equity & Global advisory secured for this year. I’ve outlined & been able to practise new boundaries that I never could. I’ve actually started sleeping better. I’ve become less occupied with the thought of what if’s with certain family members & people I’ve been on the fence about cutting off for more peace.

could not be more proud

here’s to tackling more areas of discomfort in 2023

well done to me

love