penguins @northpenguin - Tumblr Blog

thjey should fix the bug where when you eat two slices key lime pie for breakfastyuo get. tummy hurt

two slices of key lime pie first meal of the day appears to be a Potion Of Fall Back Asleep For Six Hours

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minna-nakayoku

if you ever bouncing your leg or shaking your foot that bc you were borned without a tail to swish swish...

tropicalscream

there should be a month that starts with R

rock-tober

regigigas

regigigas

regigigas

regigigas

regigigas

melia-antifa-archive-deactivate

regigigas

badgerpunk

tropicalscream

#REGIGIGAS SWEEP

nonbinary-wrath-month

The reason why so many of y'all's feminism sucks is because you still believe deep down in your hearts that there are only two kinds of people in the world: precious, ethereal, fragile dollthings called "women", and violent, lustful, rage-fueled apes called "men". Until you throw that idea away, 3rd-grade-tier "girls rule boys drool, girls are princesses and boys are stinky :(" is as feminist as we'll ever get-- and I hope it's obvious that that's lightyears away from the bare minimum of where we need to be.

gonsplode

a-book-of-creatures

Mutuals feel free to pick me up and drop me off in front of prime real estate that’s all mine

I will be scared but I will appreciate it

emjoy398

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beardedmrbean

if it works it works

xx-haqlue-deactivated20201129

m

tortellinigirl

men really be like “well this woman has studied this subject her whole life, and i am a man, so we have equal knowledge on this”

hcrzallerliebst-a-deactivated20

it’s ok you could have just said “i hate men”

tortellinigirl

okay, i hate men

nihilnovisubsole

me explaining goncharov to my mother: so tumblr made up this scorsese crime film and they're arguing about its themes and-

my mother, completely deadpan: well are they reviewing the theatrical release or director's cut.

me:

my mother: what does frances ford coppola think of it

dancinbutterfly

Your mother is the only one who understands me

munchy-k

ive always rly liked the idea of a member of a group of adventurers having what everyone assumes is very well trained hawk and then at the end of their journey its casually revealed that thats actually just his buddy whos a shapeshifter and just rly likes being a hawk

munchy-k

the guy also like thinks everyone knows bc he never tries to hide the fact that the hawk is a person but everyone assumes hes always just joking. like the others being like "damn its crazy how he knows exactly what you want him to do its like he knows english or something." and the guy is just like "well yeah thats his first language so ofc he's fluent??" and they all go "haha good one" and move on, leaving him confused

munchy-k

they just think hes a quirky guy that really loves his pet and says things like "the 9 of us" even tho there are clearly only 8 people! he just cares about the bird so much he counts it as a group member haha !

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shnowyfox

it would be so awesome

it would be so cool

papayajuan2019

are you home. do you want to play. have you eaten today. can i bring you a snack. can you hold my hand

beemovieerotica

xenosaurus

today’s worldbuilding project is a superpower setting called “fortress and the damsel”. Fortress and Damsel are people, the two most significant reality-warpers currently active.

Fortress constantly generates an aura of safety, which keeps the people within a certain radius from getting hurt. Like, survive a nuclear strike level protection. It covers miles, so she can easily protect an entire community just by being there. She has some degree of ability to manipulate it, and has been known to shrink the radius to just cover herself if you try to force her to be somewhere, so people “court” (read: lavishly bribe) her to keep her around.

Damsel is in the complete opposite situation, because her power grants anyone trying to rescue her from a dangerous situation with whatever powers they need to succeed. You can win a whole war that way if you can get the right people to keep her prisoner. Just like Fortress, she’s a hot commodity, but instead of obscene social influence, she’s in hell.

The inciting action is somebody trying to use Damsel to kill somebody within Fortress’ radius, only for Fortress herself to show up and go “hey baby, want to be safe forever so nobody can use your power ever again?” and run off with her.

xenosaurus

This is a very different narrative depending on if you’re watching Fortress and Damsel or if you’re watching the rest of the superpowered community.

For the two of them, it’s a romance between two people who have been treated like objects in very different ways! Damsel is having a grand old time being spiteful and flaunting her new situation while Fortress lavishly indulges her.

For everyone else, this is the nightmare scenario. Fortress isn’t a superhero, she’s a free agent that can shut down everything from police raids to intercontinental bombings, and she takes bribes! Damsel has the only known superpower that could beat her, because if Fortress was threatening her in some way, reality would shift so she could be rescued.

And instead of serving as an emergency backup against Fortress, Damsel has disappeared into the safe zone to learn how many orgasms she can have before she passes out. There is no contingency plan for horny lesbians.

baked-fish

I hate to say "some of you don't go outside," but fucking Christ, dude

hunbunqueen

Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu

baked-fish

Girl, what are you talking about? Are you feeling alright?

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