Telling me in great detail about the bug he just destroyed half the living room to murder and eat
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸

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@noratshere
Telling me in great detail about the bug he just destroyed half the living room to murder and eat

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PLEASE make your partner feel wanted or just leave them the fuck alone
A little encouragement!Â
I know it's tough for everyone but please, please be extra nice and patient with little kids right now. they're going through so much, we're not going to understand the amount of worldwide trauma these kids have for years, but for context: a five year old who has memories only from the age of three has spent HALF their conscious life under quarantine. they haven't interacted with other kids in person. they've only seen people with masks. they've spent all this time in a home with distressed adults and little stability without truly understanding why. for a massive chunk of their conscious life. so if a kid comes up and talks to you just let them have your attention for a few minutes. don't snap at a child crying or having a meltdown in public, and don't make the parent feel guilty. it's not that difficult to be kind.

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*lifts up my plague robe to reveal fishnets underneath*
I know this is probably more serious but I like to imagine someone at the FTC was just pissed they couldn't get their ice cream at McDonald's
So itâs McDonaldâs sabotaging and extorting franchises and not just lazy workers?
No, not everything is always lazy workers sorry.
what the fuck is wrong with uou why would you say that
SHE KILLT SQUEAKY
Love him... love mr. cool...
So deer have this instinct to stand tall and walk like a king when they notice something (a predator) watching them so they look like strong opponents since predators usually target the weakest members of the herd. The baby is doing the Don't Eat Me Walk.
Predators: âHow could I possibly eat someone THAT cool??â
LIL NAS X and ELTON JOHN for Uber Eats

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Source: Instagram
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Theyâre also chordates, like us vertebrates! Their embryos have basically the same anatomy as ours, but the notochord, the part that becomes our spinal column, just remains a notochord until theyâre ready to become a jelly bag forever. Then they digest the notochord as well as their own brain because they wonât need either of them.
So fucking jealous right now these little bastards get to just live their best life meanwhile I gotta drive 40 miles to work each morning and pay taxes
Gilles Poyet - Le Tour Du Lac Dâayda
Studio Ghibli - Kikiâs Delivery Service
How to entertain a cat
(via)
  ⧠__ â§ ďźď˝â˘Ď⢠)ăĽ__â§ ďźă¤ă / ( â˘Ďâ˘ă)  ăăźďźŞÂ (nnă) pat pat
âA woman from the audience asks: âWhy were there so few women among the Beat writers?â and [Gregory] Corso, suddenly utterly serious, leans forward and says: âThere were women, they were there, I knew them, their families put them in institutions, they were given electric shock. In the â50s if you were male you could be a rebel, but if you were female your families had you locked up.â
â
Stephen Scobie, on the Naropa Instituteâs 1994 tribute to Allen Ginsberg (via thisisendless)
FUCK
(via femmeboyant)
Iâm just frozen. Absences of women in history donât âjust happen,â they are made.
(via queereyes-queerminds)

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This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but itâs also kind of an amazing two-line poem? âHis Wife has filled his house with chintzâ is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and âchintzâ is a perfect word choice hereâsonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then âto keep it real I fuck him on the floorâ collapses that whole mood with short percussive soundsâbut itâs still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8
I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct
I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.
This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.
As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: âfuck him on the floor.â The use of âchintzâ is indeed great word choice.
Because Iâm insane, decided to scan the poem:
Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.
There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of âkeep it realâ juxtaposed with âchintz.â It causes me to interpret the âchintzâ more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of âfuck,â which is a contrast with âchintzâ but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where âchintzâ is flimsy and inanimate.
And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is âfilled with chintzââsomething that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with âkeep it real.â
The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wifeâs marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something âreal.â Thatâs a story, and itâs just two lines.
This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, yâall. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.
From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.
college is so STUPID why canât i go 5 times and major in 10 different things for $999 total and then do like, 3 MFAs on the house