Nora's Silver Spoons

Transcript:

(Speaker is facing a door at the back of the room. They turn around to face the camera in a wheelchair. Speaking begins)

Speaker: “So my neighbour saw me in my wheelchair for the first time today and asked what was wrong and if I was okay so welcome to my new segment-”

(Speaker slowly stands up out of wheelchair)

(A very quick transition and a black cane appears in their right hand. The wheelchair is no longer on screen)

(The title ‘Cane and Ableism’ flashes up on screen in bigger yellow font)

Speaker: “So shocking bit of info up top, I’m disabled. But whether I’m using this”

(Speaker gestures to cane. There’s a very quick transition where the cane disappears and is replaced by two red forearm crutches)

Speaker: “Or this. Or wheelchair.”

(Another transition. The forearm crutches disappear. The wheelchair is back on screen and the speaker slowly sits back down)

Speaker: “It shouldn’t be treated any differently. However whether it is consciously or subconsciously, society has created a hierarchy, a evolutionary chart of disability mobility aids, where wheelchairs, power chairs are at the bottom.”

(A short pause. Speaker stands up. Wheelchair disappears after a transition and the red forearm crutches return)

Speaker: “Crutches, walkers etc. In the middle”

(Right forearm crutch is held up higher and then another transition. The Crutches are replaced again with the black cane in the right hand)

Speaker: “The cane is just above that, and, of course, the alpha….”

(cane disappears, there are no mobility aids in shot)

Speaker: “To nothing at all. Now this is where it can get tricky, and this line of thinking can lead to ableism and internalised ableism, because the people who need mobility aids are doing everything they can to fight against it so they can stay right here.”

(speaker gestures to self, standing without the aid of a mobility aid)

Speaker: “So is here better? Well for me personally, here’s where I have the most pain. Now if I were to go to this”

(Quick transition. Cane pops back into frame in speaker’s right hand)

Speaker: “This (the cane) has less pain.”

(Transition between cane and red forearm crutches. The cane is gone. The crutches are on either arm.)

Speaker: “This (the forearm crutches) is less pain”

(Transition. Forearm crutches have disappeared. The wheelchair is back on screen. The speaker lowers themself to sit in it.)

Speaker: “And this (the wheelchair) barely any pain at all. So when we say what’s better, what we’re really saying is what’s better for society, when we should be saying what’s better for you.”

(Speaker points quickly to the camera)

Speaker: “And you’re the one that matters the most.”

Are you hydrated? 

If not, have a glass of water. Dehydration can mimic or increase feelings associated with anxiety and a well hydrated brain functions optimally. Avoid excess caffeine. 

Have you eaten in the past three hours? 

Don’t be a victim of hanger! Get some food–something with protein, not just simple carbs or high-fat. Nuts, hummus, and veggies are great options to feed your studying brain. Keep healthy snacks within reach to avoid mindlessly chowing down on sweets. 

Have you stretched your legs in the past day? 

If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy or time for a run or a trip to the gym, just walk around the block or building. Even minimal exercise preps the mind for learning so that you can focus better and recall things easier, plus it’s good to get a change of scenery. 

Have you said something nice to someone in the past day? 

Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine! We bet your study partner would appreciate a compliment. 

Have you moved your body to music in the past day?

If not, jog for the length of a song at your favorite tempo, or just dance around your bedroom for the length of an upbeat song (singing along is a bonus) 

Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?

If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends of friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing. 

Have you started or changed any medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand? 

That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down. 

If daytime: are you dressed? 

If no, put on clean clothes that aren’t PJs. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress. 

If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep? 

Put on PJs, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes while focusing on breathing deeper with every breath- no electronic screens allowed! Adequate sleep is a necessity for stress management. 

Do you feel ineffective? 

Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an email, loading the dishwasher, or tidying up your room. Good job!

Do you feel unattractive? 

Take a darn selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look. You are always insta-worthy. 

Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?

Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial. 

Have you over-exerted yourself lately–physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually? 

That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking some time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment for a little. Time spent refreshing yourself is never time “wasted!” 

Have you waited a week? 

Sometimes or perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then. 

CFS is a poorly understood disease that doctors don’t take very seriously; often they tell you that it’s all in your head or that you have depression. It is more prominent in DFAB people but we don’t know why.

The diagnosis process is one of ruling everything else out so it’s really hard, time intensive and costly to get a formal diagnosis.

Other co-morbid things that often pop up with CFS: fibromyalgia, IBS, and migraines.

I totally understand that this tweet is just a joke and that it’s Not That Deep but it does downplay the fight hundreds of thousands of people wage every day to get their doctors to listen to them, take them seriously, and actively do research. The woman featured in the screencap, Jen Brea, made a documentary called Unrest about her experience with CFS, and is one of the leaders of the movement to make medical professionals take us seriously & to raise awareness. Unrest is currently on Netflix, if you’re interested in watching it.

There’s a lot of focus on people “defying the odds” and showing that their disability “can’t hold them back”.

But here’s the thing... sometimes your disability does hold you back. Sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can’t do some things.

A twitter post by Theo Lorenz (@TheoNicole) dated 7:18 PM, 9/1/20. It reads:

A decade ago, I was fired from a longtime job because my sleep disorders made me “unreliable.” Today I’m in a higher stakes job where clients know not to expect mornings from me, and I get ridiculously good reviews. Lack of accommodations made me unreliable, not disability

and