with wax melted, i'd meet the sea

People on Tumblr love sharing information about themselves no matter how asinine it is. And I'm the same way. Everybody tell me what the last thing you drank was.

Please keep interacting with this post because when I come to tumblr to procrastinate, this shows up again in my notifications and guilts me into writing again

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

[looking at people younger than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at people older than me] you have your whole life ahead of you [looking at myself] its over

She took the pages.

Attention male lovers:Its ok to beat me with a hammer until i dont move anymore

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

and yet they keep making movies with the hopes that one day humanity will discover a way to watch them. it's so inspiring

only the true king could remove the sword from the stone…. no one else could…… they didn’t have…. arthurization

God I’m so hungry I could eat a h- *looks around nervously to make sure my friend Devin, the Talking Horse isn’t nearby* phew. Well I’m so hungry I could kill and eat my friend Devin

SMOKED SALMON IS THE ONLY THING THAT NUMBS THE PAIN

Ghosts aren't real, it was probably just the house settling that gave you that blowjob

can't believe the only options are 30 minutes early or 10 minutes late. if only there were some other way. but what can you do