a bug

passenger princess? No, I’m the passenger knight. I’ve sworn an oath of homoerotic loyalty to the driver and will protect them until my last breath. I will carry out her road rage. I’m why the passenger seat is called shotgun

my friend told me last night that he gets girls to come back to his place by telling them “oh i can’t wait to go home and have some stew” and “i’m so hungry, good thing i have stew at home” and it’s worked every time

bro the worst part is last night i went to his place and it’s 11pm and i’m sitting there eating fucking stew like god damn it worked on me too

the decline of practical effects in horror movies is one of the greatest tragedies of our time. we need to make horror wetter and more organic again.

a good horror film used to look like you could crawl into it and fuck it. they took that from us.

woshing him.

why doesn’t Mitski have a song about how bad ass Dark Souls III is

This looks like a painting with like the composition and lighting

they wanted him dead for his sad brown eyes and his slut waist

Not elegant enough to be a vampire…. . not jock enough to be a werewolf.. ..

goblin it is

If you are taking the car to Chicago, can you even call yourself a feminist. There are Women on that train who want to have gay sex with you but can't because you are taking a fucking car to Chicago

Right now there is a very buff Butch woman all alone in the Cafe car and she could be having steamy gay sex with you and be moving into your apartment if you were just willing to take the train to Chicago

sometimes you dont eat fruit for awhile and then you eat some fruit and you're like oh fuck its fruit

may september bring gay & crunch of leaf