A Tired Bean Who FUCKING HATES GEN AI

Fundraisers and receptions, for the most part, usually consist of a bunch of people—most of whom at least vaguely know or know of each other already—standing around chatting, eating hors d'oeuvres, and drinking. At some point, the host gets up and speaks, then introduces a special guest if there is one (there usually is at least one, and depending on the event there are usually at least two or three), who then speaks; occasionally the host is also introduced by someone else, depending on the event. Then there's more chatting as people start to trickle out, and then the host eventually boots you out at the end of the night if you've overstayed your welcome and they need to clean up.

You are expected to dress nicely for fundraisers and receptions, but they're not really "formal" events; I usually wear business professional attire as a staffer, and many attendees end up being somewhere between business casual and business professional. There are certainly events that happen to be formal or black-tie, but the vast majority of people are not doing black-tie fundraisers/receptions. The exception here tends to be things like high-dollar fundraiser dinners, which skew more towards being a formal dinner than a traditional fundraiser.

Galas, on the other hand, are much more formal and usually have a set schedule of events. There's some chatting and milling around (sometimes with hors d'oeuvres) and then a sit-down dinner (sometimes buffet style, sometimes served via catering staff). There is an advertised schedule of live entertainment and/or speakers who are formally introduced and speak to attendees—usually right after dinner, but occasionally they'll do it during dinner. Afterwards….the best way to describe it is an after-party, but it's not really an afterparty? it's more like "enjoy the open bar, chat (or don't chat), and then eventually you leave." Occasionally there is dancing afterwards, though I have personally only ever been to one gala where this was the case.

People make them out to be this big thing, but they're basically like fancy high school sports banquets in a lot of ways. They also sometimes give out awards during the speaking portion depending on what the gala's for, so it's even more like those sometimes. Dress code is usually formal, so this is where you would see your long evening gowns and formal suits or tuxedos, though I've been to a few where you can get away with fancy cocktail dress in a pinch.

Silent auctions/auction galas are their own special breed of event. They're fun, but there's a definite air of competition because people want to go home with stuff whereas most other fundraisers/galas are mostly just "hey, fun chance to drink and chat with my buddies and catch up on what's going on" (hot gossip opportunities, mostly). Yes, these are almost always charity fundraiser events. That does not stop anyone from wanting to take home cool stuff lmao.

Logistics: Galas are always professionally catered and will often (but not always) have at least one or two security personnel. Receptions are always professionally catered but are much more lowkey security-wise; there's usually just a check-in table with some staff checking you off the RSVP list and handing out nametags. Depending on the location, financial constraints, and attendees, fundraisers may or may not have professional catering (sometimes it's just some party platters you picked up at the grocery store). They rarely have anyone except staffers, lower-level employees, or volunteers manning set-up/clean-up, check-in, and security unless there's a particularly high-profile speaker in attendance (in which case that speaker usually brings their own staff and security with them).

Entertainment considerations: yes, sometimes there is a DJ, live music, or other live entertainment. This is far more common at formal galas, but some outdoor events will do live music too. Decorations at fundraisers and meet-and-greets are often minimal; these events are "signs and tripod posters" level for the most part. Receptions sometimes have decorations and sometimes don't (depends on how "big" or "formal" the hosts are trying to be). Galas at minimum have table-clothed and decorated tables and usually have at least light decorations on the stage (if there is a stage); everything else depends on what the gala is for, if the gala has any particular theme, and the host's personal tastes.

In terms of money/tickets: While fundraisers and galas both have a base-level ticket to get in, galas are much more focused on the levelling aspect of the money ("people get goodies for giving more money than the base-level requirements"). Gala hosts often sell plates or tables to the guests who attend. Fundraisers absolutely have donation tiers (obviously), but it's usually more about attendance/access and getting personalized shoutouts vs. sponsoring/being seen as a big donor at a gala-level event. Receptions are rarely about the money; while some will be ticketed events, these are often closed events aimed at a specific group or groups of people, and most attendees are invited by virtue of who they are/who they work for.

The attendees and invited speakers will be different depending on the type of event. If you're writing a non-profit or lobbyist-hosted fundraiser or reception, for example, the point is for lobbyists and issue advocates to get face-time with targeted individuals (potential donors, elected officials, board members, community leaders, other advocacy group leaders, etc). Hosts/speakers will usually be talking about a specific issue, and their professional backgrounds will usually reflect that. Most of the time, the host will mostly just be thanking people for coming and talking briefly about the importance of 'x' issue before handing it off to someone else.

If you are writing about a campaign fundraiser (the ones I have the most experience with), the focus is on supporting the candidate/group of candidates, their causes, and working to make sure everyone there is engaging their family, friends, and neighbors to get involved, donate, and doorknock/phonebank/etc. The speakers—usually other elected officials and important political surrogates—are focused on why it's important to elect/re-elect whoever is up for election, the candidate themselves is usually the focus and many times the keynote speaker, and the money basically all goes towards a) the cost of the event and then b) the campaign. If your elected is up for re-election and they live in a safe district, that money usually goes towards helping out other party-affiliated candidates fighting to get elected in battleground districts and otherwise close races.

Galas usually fall into one of two categories: annual galas hosted by a specific organization (for example, an annual charity gala run by the local Rotary Club chapter, or an annual awards gala to celebrate the organization's successes over the past year) and galas thrown in conjunction with a major event (an organization might put on a gala to celebrate their 50th Anniversary). Speaker choices will reflect host organization priorities or the theme of the event; you will also often see "big name draw" speakers who are invited so that more people will purchase tickets and attend.

Attendees also depends on the type of event you're at. Political events are going to prioritize politically active and affiliated individuals. An event hosted by a museum is going to prioritize community leaders, major supporters, and potential new donors. Fundraisers focused towards the financial and social elite are going to prioritize inviting current and potential donors, major community leaders, cultural influencers, and whoever is considered "elite" in that space. However, most fundraisers and galas have a wide variety of people there. If you're staff or a lobbyist or very actively involved in whatever social scene the fundraiser's for, you're usually invited.

For reference, I've been to three political events of differing formality in the last week:

A social hour/meet-and greet hosted by my local Young Democrats chapter, which included chapter members, elected officials, a candidate or two that is currently running for office, a few issue-oriented lobbyists, and several adults active in our community who wanted to come and meet with us

A political fundraiser hosted by my boss that was was attended by her, other elected officials (including the mayor and our congressman), donors, a few local community organization leaders, and a couple of staffers (including me).

A gala associated with the state Young Democrats annual political convention, which included young Dems from across the state, current and former YD executive board members, elected officials from the city hosting the convention, some other electeds, the (adult) state party committee chair, various local party committee chairs, executive-level staff from a few key advocacy organizations, a few people who have a longstanding relationship with the organization, and several speakers who focused on their work and issues they felt mattered to Young Democrats aged 13-35 (including multiple candidates running for statewide office).

tl;dr: cater your attendees to the type of event being hosted and the people/organization who is hosting.

The social dynamics/internal politics that go on at these things will also be different depending on the type of event.

For fundraisers and receptions, people may or may not actually talk business or about whatever specific issue is top of mind for them with any given person; while talking issues is not out of the ordinary, the major point of these events is to act as a meet-and-greet opportunity so you know an advocate's face and recognize their name when they call or email you a few days later asking for a meeting. If you do have characters "talking business," do so carefully and couched in a context of "this is casual business talk;" people usually don't go to these events to have conversations that would be better had in an official meeting capacity. They're there to network, catch up with social peers and professional colleagues socially, and talk to people they don't normally get to talk to.

Do not talk business at a gala; that is profoundly not what they are for. You are there to eat, drink, and have a good time, not to do your job after-hours. If you're talking actual business at a gala, there better be a damn good reason for doing so. Chit-chat, gossip, and non-work related talk? All fair game.

Non-profit fundraisers/galas (like silent auctions) are, again, their own special breed because they're usually put on for a specific purpose (as a fundraising event for a capital project or specified charity issue, as an annual fundraising effort for the organization's work, etc), and so the attendees, talk, and event-relevant background drama will largely revolve around whatever cause the non-profit works on or why the event is happening.

And finally, the million dollar question: do children, specifically the children of the event hosts, normally attend these events?

The answer is: well, yes and no. It depends on the type of event.

Things on the level of the Met Gala? No. Political or non-profit event galas, or more formal reception-type events? Sometimes, but it's heavily event-dependent and minor attendees are usually older teenagers and kids old enough to conduct themselves in public. Seeing someone under 12 or 13 at an event like this is very rare. Fundraisers? Depends on the type, but kids will often show up at the smaller or more casual ones.

It's a tricky balance because most events are not exactly child-friendly and most people want to keep their kids out of the spotlight anyway, but there's nothing like a couple of cute kids to give off the wholesome family image and open pocketbooks at fundraisers. So they tend to leave them home for big galas, but they'll regularly turn up at specifically advertised family-friendly events and at smaller, more intimate fundraisers where they don't really have to worry about them getting into trouble or running off or grabbing a glass of alcohol when they're not looking.

Bonus: fun facts about drinking at events!

If there are drinks provided at an event, there are two types of 'bars': cash bar and open bar. At a cash bar event, attendees are paying for their own drinks. At an open bar event, drinks have been prepaid by the host or a sponsor and attendees are free from a financial perspective to get whatever and however many they like. Open bar events are often the mark of a rich or particularly generous host. You can signal stinginess or potential financial trouble by writing a rich host/host organization who puts up a cash bar at an event.

Regardless of bar type or the number/type of drinks served, these bars are universally run by professional bartenders (paid at an hourly rate plus a flat bartending fee; fees can also sometimes increase based on the quality or type of drinks being served).

Unless you are going to an event hosted at a restaraunt that already has an actual bar, the "bar" at these events is usually a designated table set up in a corner or along a wall. There will be an available drinks menu somewhere on the table and available bottled drinks (like wines and beers) will be openly displayed.

Most people know how to drink responsibly at events, even ones with an open bar, but you occasionally get 1 or 2 who take too much advantage and have to be looked after or escorted out by their buddies, staffers, and occasionally, a very unlucky host.

At galas: drink switching used to be a fun thing I sometimes saw in the pre-covid times. You'd usually see a couple of friends who would sit at a back table, get different drinks, and then switch up with each other at certain times, such as when speakers changed.